prologue

Prologue


    In the beginning… When all things that we know, were created, the birth of a precious-most powerful life passed unnoticed… A crystal.
    For thousands of years, it is not known how many for sure, it rested…Hidden-it remained, secret.  There, far bellow the surface, it remained entombed in stone, until the Lust of the Dwarves.  In their relentless search for Mithiril, they accidentally un-earthed it, deep in the dark of dark, imbedded in the warm stone that glistened with the moistness of the world’s heart.
    Carefully, the skilled Dwarven miners cut the rock around the stone so it would not be harmed.  It was unique-strange in a way, but very beautiful and enchanting.  The ancient crystal was presented before the Dwarven clerics and priests.
    They were unable to identify the substance and its origin, but were aware of its strange aurora that pulsed with the promise of immense power.  The shapeless voice called to those of magic with a luring- hypnotic whisper.  It became certain that the crystal was older than the races.
    Alarm grew among them and in turn the Dwarves brought the crystal, still nestled in the stone, to the Tower of High Sorcery, where it was presented before the heads of each order and race.  These were the wisest and most powerful of wizards, and yet…they were unable to find any answers.  Their only conclusion was that its power was greater than anything they had tampered with.
    So it came to Aleron, Highest of all mages, from the order of the white Robes- followers of the God Habbuku.  He decreed that the relic would stay in the protective custody of the council within the protective walls of the Tower of High Sorcery.  For safety purposes he decided that he and he alone would study the crystal.
    Through countless weeks and exhausting efforts, Aleron was unsuccessful at identifying the true nature of the thing; however, he did discover some of its attributes: one of which gave visions of what was to come.
    Aleron became infatuated with this particular property and for two long years he kept this information to himself, writing down the visions in an ancient language that would be lost to the races of Merth.
    But the future is unclear and the riddles of visions twisted in his mind.  Eventually he was driven to madness.  His obsession went out of control and he developed a thirst for its power.  Spell after spell…test after test…failure after failure his patience slipped away.  
    After three long years He turned to the use of dark magics and summoned forth a spirit from the abyss, a creature as old as time, A DEMON.
    Bound by magic spells and circles the demon was called and forced to answer Aleron’s questions.  But in his arrogance-madness… his thirst that would quench his obsession, he dared to enslave the demon in our world.   
    Through his efforts he learned that it was the Soul of Life. And all that we knew was and is, continuing on drawing from its power...a power strong enough to undo creation and turn our world into a place of
Everlasting darkness filled with eternal chaos.
    It was then that Aleron brought his findings to the attention of the council.  He told them of the Book of Prophecy.  This served as his one true error.  Until then it had remained secret … and the hearts of men are easily corrupted.
    As the rumors spread, the council and the races grew fearful that evil would soon come for it.  A plan was presented to the race of Dragons, oldest of all creatures on Merth.  They were bound by the God Habbuku, creator of light, to protect and teach the Humans, Elves, and Dwarves.
    Nine were chosen from the Platinum clan, Dragons that could change magically into humanoid form, eight males and one female.
They were ordered to seduce humans to create a new warrior in order to protect the ancient artifact.  When the off-springs were born, they were taken from their homes and trained in the ways of Habbuku.
    The nine children were educated and taught the skills of combat by the finest weapons masters of each race.  But what none knew…was the legions of chaos had already formed an army beyond comprehensive numbers.
    Aleron tried to use the crystal to see the outcome of the war but the answers were still unclear.  So he called upon the demon to demand that it tell him how to control this power.  
    The demon had grown strong and clever.  Aleron let it know of the plans to protect the crystal with the warriors.  That’s when the great beast struck.  The dark entity was stronger than it had led Aleron to believe and it broke the magic circles.  Aleron fought it but his magic was no match for a Demogorgon.  It devoured him and his life was ended.
    The Demon and the crystal vanished…
The elders, in order to learn of what happened, unraveled the mysteries of Alderon’s book.
    After years of rapid development and relentless training, the dragon spawn clad in armor forged from platinum and mithiril by the dwarves deep in their mountains, raced across the realms fighting off the evil that threatened the realms. They became know as the platinum knights, the knights of Habbuku. But the search for the crystal was called off as Men, Elves, and Dwarves joined forces and prepared for war.
    The Knights of Habbuku were fierce, perfect warriors in every aspect but one; they like the dragons had no compassion.  Only one of the knights had this trait, but his destiny was uncertain.  His skills exceeded the other eight and his name (Tieyarkiel) spread like fire across YouManeff.
    Times grew darker; mages of the black order used their magic to pervert the stolen eggs of dragons-red, blue, green, and black.  The creatures born were dragon-men like called draconian.  The dark armies, despite the heroic efforts of the Platinum Knights, grew and they concord more lands. The Allies of Habbuku were out numbered seven to one.
    War was fought for three long years across YouManeff before dragons began to bear riders into great aerial combat maneuvers in attempts to prevent dragon fires from the skies.
    Neither side was able to overturn the other.  Time grew short, with only eleven days until the three moons of Merth aligned, it was discovered that the Book of Aleron was written in the ancient language of the Dragons.
    The great Platinum Dragon Glamndria- mother of Tieyarkiel learned that the stone possessed the power of opening gates to wherever was desired and the Demon’s plans were to open the Gate of the Abyss to call forth the Dark Queen Shalandrilyre, Goddess of the dark plain.
    The demon witnessed the deeds and actions of Tieyarkiel.  It came to the conclusion that his heart- though it was pure… was his weakness and like other men could be corrupted.  The demon destroyed all that Tieyarkiel knew and loved, but he did not falter…until he received word of a danger to befall his love, his wife - Sanramorr a cleric of Habbuku.
    The famed knights of Habbuku were disbanded and separated into the armies, but Tieyarkiel fled in haste against orders to save the woman he loved.
    The Tower of Narsh-Turath fell.  And in the Demon’s boldness it moved the crystal there so all could witness Evil’s triumph.  Soon the eight armies of the Allies surrounded the tower their hopes renewed with the coming of the Knights of Habbuku.  This outraged the demon as he watched them close in quickly.  
    The demon flew to the battle field its specific intent was to destroy the platinum knights while they were separated and one by one he killed them.
    Upon reaching his wife, Tieyarkiel learned she had been killed without a word he took flight on a dragon and returned to the battle at Narsh-Turath.  This the demon did not expect, and though Tieyarkiel’s heart was filled with anger and pain…it did not turn black with hatred as the demon anticipated.  
    Something else happened; it awoke inside the young knight something.  He became even more fearsome, deadly- unstoppable.  Tieyarkiel penetrated the Tower and quickly cut his way through the black mages and clerics that wielded the dark magics that would open the gate.  Not a creature there even slowed his momentum.  It was then that he found Istar, a Wizard of the white cloth chained to the alter.
    With the fall of the Eighth knight of Habbuku…the hearts of the men fell heavy with hopelessness. Due to fatigue of battle, the loss of their leaders, and the absence of hope…they began to suffer heavy losses and evil was on the verge of victory. The battle was fierce with magic.
    At the command of Istar, to save all that was known…Tieyarkiel smashed his blade - a sword of sharpness forged in the very fires of his dragon mother, into the crystal.
    The crystal split with a magical explosion that sent him back against the wall.  A piece landed near Istar who was now free, he placed it deep in his robes.  But what no one saw was the piece that was shot out the window, for the two souls present at the time watched in astonishment as the dragon on the knights sword came alive and tightly bit the shard in its mouth before it fell to the ground.
    When he climbed to his feet, Tieyarkiel peered out the window.  The sky flashed with magical attacks, the fields echoed with cries of the dying to his dismay he saw his fellows in arms being crushed and saw the final blow that killed the last of his brothers.  
    The thing inside him stirred again, the dragon began to awake and with an incredible pace he cut his way through the creatures, ruthlessly slaughtering his enemy.
The distance closed between him and the demon.
    Tieyarkiel stood apart from all the others, anything that was a sword point away quickly died.  The men cried out and cheers of victory were shouted for in one single moment the whole army felt his presence.  Like a spell fire, a new found strength returned to the men as he passed-they were filled with hope…with heart.  The damage he had done was so great that the scales of favor tilted in favor of the united armies of YouManeff.  The Elven archers and mages, the Dwarven warriors, and the human fighters quickly depleted their foes.  
    With both of his blades dancing to a song of death, Tieyarkiel was merciless-he would not fail, his God was with him.  The demon’s skill proved to be Tieyarkiel’s match, but the demon was too confident-having killed the other knights.   The folly presented its self- Tieyarkiel sent the tip of one blade home deep in the creature’s side, but not deep enough to slay a great demon of such immense power.
    The wound however, caused the demon to stumble, then loosing its footing in the litter of corpses, it fell to the ground.  The dark lord’s helmet rolled from its head.  Tieyarkiel was  horrified at what he saw as well as were all who seen, for the golden strands of hair and fair skin of his love rose before him.  He had been betrayed. All of them had.  
    In his moment of hesitation she plunged her cold black blade deep.  Tieyarkiel’s strength fled his body and when his knees hit the ground she placed her foot on his chest and jerked the jagged blade free.  Without a second look she turned to regroup her soldiers, leaving him there to die.  To her horror her ranks were scattered to far and few and were in retreat.  Those who remained were beaten down four to one.
    Those who had seen the fall of Tieyarkiel ached so greatly for the loss that the hurt turned into a fierce anger and they swarmed the Demon.  Greatly out numbered she weakened and was forced to flee.  She did not understand why her Queen did not come.
    She returned to a tower that was in shambles, all were dead and Istar was gone along with the crystal.  The Elves pursued the demon to a cave.  There they would not enter; so the Priests of Habbuku placed magic wards on the entrance and the mages cast powerful holding spells to prevent its escape for all time….
    Time passed and so did the crystal shard that was lost.  From clawed hand to the hands of man it moved- from shop to pocket to shop. The crystal found its way around YouManeff; kept in secret it remained to the eye only a pretty stone for three hundred years.
    Then a mage of the dark robes found it for sale as a necklace in a shop.  The Mage Rastius sensed its power and quietly purchased it.  His hunger for power drove him to summon a demon from the Abyss to learn the stone’s secret.The demon knew and tricked Rastius into entering the long forgotten cave in search for the other half.
    EVIL-once again stirred the lands and the new king made by the people led his campaign for five years to drive the creatures away.  He was declared a Hero.  The source of the evil was found.  Six months passed when the king returned with Rastius in his charge.  He laid claim that the demon had been banished; He now possessed one half of the legendary crystal and announced that he would find the other and make their world new.
    The Book of Aleron for told of the hero who would return from the past and unite the two halves, restoring their world. It was recorded as the last legend before Aleron’s death.  But with the demon gone no one cared- faith had been lost in the Gods.  Not every one believed the king’s claims.  The elder races such as the elves knew the demon was fierce and powerful- not likely to have fallen so easily.
    Rumors spread- evil began to rise, dark armies gathered in secret and black robes were at work with dark magic…                                
                         The threat of war whispered on the wind…
 

Reviews

[Lorelee Tate]

Interesting start. A few suggestions for you:

Consider telling this in a more active voice. This is a rather hefty chunk of text and active voice helps draw in the reader. Don't recite this as though it were a history, show it as though it were happening there before the reader. Even if it is background for the main story, the past was present at one time. (If that makes any sense...)

You introduce a lot of unexpected twists, perhaps too many. Don't try and shock your reader so often. Let them in on certain things, not necessarily everything, but you don't want your reader to stop reading because they can't follow all the twists.

I noticed several similarities between this and The Lord of the Rings, things that are a bit too similar. The phrase, "the hearts of men are easily corrupted," is straight out of the movie. Also, mithril, White Wizards, and nine heroes are a bit clich� at this point.

Last one, I promise! Spelling and punctuation. Just run spell-check, read through it again, and you should be fine with that.

And now I'm off to read the next chapter!