Shadow Dance (Pantoum)

Pantoum - A Malaysian verse whose form was adapted by French poets and occasionally imitated in English. It comprises a series of quatrains, with the second and fourth lines of each quatrain repeated

Shadow Dance - Pantoum

Clearing the obstacles that line his path,

she dances between shadows in his mind.

Although she is the object of his wrath,

at times he speaks of her as being kind.

She dances between shadows in his mind,

illuminating corners that are dark.

At times he speaks of her as being kind,

while her love registers to find its mark.

Illuminating corners that are dark,

she whispers words that speak to him alone.

While her love registers to find its mark,

she lives and blooms where nothing else has grown.

She whispers words that speak to him alone.

A pearl which hangs upon a jeweled strand.

She lives and blooms where nothing else has grown,

an orchid in the barren desert sand.

A pearl which hangs upon a jeweled strand,

reflecting love that bathes his soul in light.

An orchid in the barren desert sand,

she fills his blinded eye with treasured sight.

Reflecting love that bathes his soul in light,

his slate skies are transformed to azure hue.

She fills his blinded eye with treasured sight,

her love touched with the grace of floral dew.

His slate skies are transformed to azure hue,

although she is the object of his wrath.

Her love touched with the grace of floral dew,

clearing the obstacles that line his path.

Reviews

[Einstein Noodle]

well done!!! i attempted one of these for an on-line poetry class I took and it was something that was written and re-written many times to get it right.. ... yours flows so smoothly ... the changes in meaning sublime...the story telling is so cool! ..great title ... well done says i! i love your shadow dancer bringing light to his blinded eye ... so so cool ma'am ... and from a Chemist of all things ;))) i am a fan Tamara!
see you around
E.

[Tamara Beryl Latham]

Thank you so much Einstein. You should post the one you wrote. People don't write formal poetry much anymore. Thanks for your review. :-)

[Einstein Noodle]

if you want to read it this should take you there:
http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/rIGt2mAk3/1947407/
my natural inclination is to free verse; but having begun to write with no education on it i realized the need to do classic forms just to gain a sense of grounding ...so i attempt them from time to time ... you will find all kinds of things if you take a stroll among my posts ... i think your pantoum is a very good example .. plus for me a worthwhile read ... fine stuff says i! :)

[Tamara Beryl Latham]

Thanks, Einstein. I'll attempt to read your poem. I'm having trouble on this site.

I appreciate your feedback and when I reply to 7 posts, I will check out your poem.

[Coyote Poetry]

Wonderful poetry shared dear Tamara.
"Reflecting love that bathes his soul in light,
his slate skies are transformed to azure hue.
She fills his blinded eye with treasured sight,
her love touched with the grace of floral dew."
I did like the above lines. The emotion and the want of love was alive and well in your words. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[Tamara Beryl Latham]

You're welcome, Coyote, and thank you for reading it and offering feedback. I appreciate your effort.

[Coyote Poetry]

A wonderful poem and you are welcome Tamara.

[Neville]

This is seriously good.. not only that, it is seriously well crafted... I'm not brave enough to even attempt to bend my mental muscle around the making of such a poem.. bravo my fine literary friend... Neville

[Tamara Beryl Latham]

Neville, why not try an easy form, like a rondelet or sonnet. :)

I thank you for your comments.

[Neville]

my sincere pleasure and true.... maybe one day I might give it a try... maybe x

[¿]

I thank you! For giving me a read in which no line was found boring... honestly!!
The writing style is totally new to me and tis interesting indeed....

"She lives........barren desert sand"....feels like she's resembling lichens! I really wanted to read something like this....you knitted the words lovingly....
This was amazing to read, Tamara.. Almighty's grace be upon you :)

[Tamara Beryl Latham]

Thanks you Tahsin.Z.

What I find is it's good to have a command of all forms of poetry and that is from classical to contemporary.

I appreciate your feedback. :-)