A Blurry Conscience

Inspired from my painting titled "A Blurry Conscience".

Before the storm everything appeared to be lucent

But, then the rain fell upon my window

All the things I knew, now blurred

Light that once guided me is now a maze

Senses I once trusted have betrayed me, forgotten me

I can no longer discern what is right from the wrong

Are the morals I know and believe real?

Or rules created by man?

Do these rules protect or control mankind?

The drops of rain have obscured my moral sense of the world

The decadent things in life now seem genuine

I'm fain to go to a fane filled with feign 

Because it no longer feels nefarious

It's still raining outside; a blurry conscience I have

Reviews

[Glen Yumang Manese]

As for the verse and painting ---
you do well to enhance that with the work...
you put into verse here...quite an undertaking to put together...
as for the verse --- the imagery is there ---
I would IMPO take out "The's" in the write and do without them:

Before the storm everything appeared to be lucent
But, then the rain fell upon my window
All the things I knew, now blurred
Light that once guided me is now a maze
Senses I once trusted have betrayed me, forgotten me

I can no longer discern what is right from the wrong
Are the morals I know and believe real?
Or rules created by man?
Do these rules protect or control mankind?
Drops of rain have obscured my moral sense of the world

Decadent things in life now seem genuine
I'm fain to go to a fane filled with feign
Because it no longer feels nefarious
It's still raining outside; A blurry conscience I have

but as for the whole piece in its form...
this has the look and feel as I read down the line ---
as an observer and reader...
good to see a new read of yours...

[Trevor Barnett]

Thank you very much for the wonderful review Glen! I'll be sure to take out the the's, and see how it sounds. Thanks for the advice!

[Glen Yumang Manese]

you're welcome...

[MsJewel]

Such a melancholy feel to this well written poem. I enjoyed it very much. The painting you have displayed is fabulous. Is this one of yours?

:) Julie

[Trevor Barnett]

Thank you so much Julie! Yes, that painting is an 18x24 acrylic on canvas, that took me a month and a half to do.

[MsJewel]

It is lovely! You are a man of many talents! I love art - although I can't draw or paint, I appreciate the beauty of a painting...I can stare at a Monet for hours and see something different...I would love to see more of your work. Do you post your paintings online?

[Trevor Barnett]

I usually post some of my stuff on Facebook sometimes; but, if you want look at some of my work I'll send them in a message to you.

[MsJewel]

I would love to see more of your work! :)

[MsJewel]

I would love to see more of your work! :)

[JalousieJacinth]

HMMM.. sexy poem and painting. Oh s**t its raining outside, I think I'm gunna go kill somebody!

[Trevor Barnett]

Thank you and you've got some sexy writing yourself;) Thanks for stopping by.

[SANDEEP SHETTY]

This one is quite meaningful!!!!...You are right...there are no rules of living..just the limits!

[Trevor Barnett]

Thank you very much for taking the time to review! I'm glad you liked it!

[Sami Khalil]

"The drops of rain have obscured my moral sense of the world

The decadent things in life now seem genuine
I'm fain to go to a fane filled with feign"

I totally agree. When our conscience is clouded, we feel those blurry lines, those nefarious mazes and those jumbled feelings. Excellent...:)...............

[Trevor Barnett]

Thank you so much Sami for the wonderful review! I'm glad this poem was relatable to you.

[Sami Khalil]

Yep. You are welcome...)..................