Leaders lead

Leaders lead

A Poem by Aaron

People always talking but never do they listen.
If they listen to what they say.
They'll only hear bitching.
What happened to the strong, did everyone turn weak?
Up s***s creek without a paddle we're in too deep.
But some how no one pays attention.
As our vision hits a collision.
Do we need an exorcism or hypnotism?
I don't know but I care, which is more than most can say.
For the majority of humanity is lost and gone astray.
So we need a voice, a volunteer, a brand new leader.
Lets find some one who can be the peoples valiant speaker.

© 2012 Aaron


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Hey buddy, There are a few grammar situations with this you might wanna edit. There are some periods that shouldn't be there since they are not complete sentences, add a few commas in certain places, and you missed putting question marks on the 4th line. And for the first line it sounds better if you say "people always talk" instead of talking, Other then that I think you have a nice concept to this lil' poem you have here. I think the strongest part of your poem is the last half of it! First part needs a lil tweaking, but you shall get there :D

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Hey buddy, There are a few grammar situations with this you might wanna edit. There are some periods that shouldn't be there since they are not complete sentences, add a few commas in certain places, and you missed putting question marks on the 4th line. And for the first line it sounds better if you say "people always talk" instead of talking, Other then that I think you have a nice concept to this lil' poem you have here. I think the strongest part of your poem is the last half of it! First part needs a lil tweaking, but you shall get there :D

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

From my own relative perspectives to your concept; I'd imagine others debating with this. Though, I'm sure they would look to it as preaching whereas I would consider it bitching.

Posted 12 Years Ago



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155 Views
2 Reviews
Added on October 20, 2012
Last Updated on October 20, 2012

Author

Aaron
Aaron

Muncie, IN



About
I am a simple poet who has crafted his art around poetry that ends in rhyme. I have been writing poetry since I was a kid in elementary school. The people that inspire my poems would be Tupac Shakur, .. more..

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