My Hell

If i got to talk to you tonight I would have no idea what too say or how too feel. Everything use too be great, life was great. I could never do the thing we use too do. just a bunch of teenagers living life without a care. thinking about you makes me die inside but makes me feel alive at the same time. Moving on is the hardest thing i have ever tried to do. The warmth, touch, essence, life can never be the same. I had always though it would have been you and me vs the world. Life can have unexpected twists and turns. tears turn into fire as love and hope fades, anger and hatred grows. I had always turned too you for answers but for years your never there too answer. I guess I should have chose a better path in life maybe things would have been better. There is no one to blame but me i was too hard headed and stubborn to notice what was best for you wasn't me and i tried to force my self to think i couldn't be beaten. So much pain, fear, misery, what i miss most is the love and warmth from someone who truly loves me. Just grab me and hold me and say that everything is ok that your never going anywhere, Have someone there for me. Can run all I want but could never escape the thoughts of you. A woman needs a man not a boy. How could everyone and anyone ever let love go, turn your back and walk away. Wonder if we had never gotten together, never feel the pain of life. To enjoy the love we had or to have it as if love never existed. Growing old with kids a big house and lots of pets. I can't imagine what either would be like, have a life with or with out, I am just glad that what part of life you shared with me i shall cherish till the day i die. I regret everything and nothing, regret not being better for you. I am me and me is who I am nothing will ever change that so love me for who i am. Even if you hate me it still means you think of me and i can survive thinking that maybe a piece of my heart will never leave you.