Phantom in my Mind

I think of her so often, wondering
if she is real.  I see myself
transcending time, creating
as a god might choose, from some
untouchable ideal, somewhere,
in surreptitious flashes,
that emerge at twilight, quite
unplanned, uncertain, yet persistent.

She disappears as readily,
fading as the shadows gather,
choosing anonymity
as her dress of choice.

 

I cannot fathom her
and will not give her form;
accordingly she will not dance
for me, as might
a creature in a dream, and thus
will always, like a quantum particle
elude both sight and consciousness
through every fitful day
and each relentless night.

 

She will maintain that right
until the mists congeal,
revealing everything--or nothing
as she chooses; I shall breathe no more,
and this chimera which is jointly owned
by me, herself and God, perhaps
(in his unique abuse)
will come of age
and fade into finality.

 

Oh, excuse me, dear.
I must recuse myself.

        ~

      ~

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

we get flashes of writing..almost like subliminal sightings of the ghost of the muse, and then we ask ourselves...does she really exist?

she seems to when we are writing heavily...she feels concrete..we can describe her, feel her, almost talk to her...but when she chooses to disappear...we think we were insane just to think she was ours, even for that fleeting moment.

[Dean]

if this applies to muses.......you nailed it.

[Ravyne Hawke]

I have a randy muse like this.. she comes and goes as quickly as she arrives and often leaves rushed sentences for me to try and copy down.. and if I miss something.. oh well, she does not repeat. Sometimes I just hear her laughter and nothing else.. I always enjoy reading about others muses and how they relate to them.. this one is particularly excellent and I enjoyed it very much.

[Dean]

Havn't at all got mine figured out yet. At this ending stage of my life, I don't think I ever will.

[Ravyne Hawke]

Sometimes I wonder if we have anyone all figured out, muse or human.. half the fun, I expect, in trying..

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

This read as an ode to a muse, for me at least. You can see here there, in your days and your nights; but she is just out of reach--flesh and blood? Perhaps, but the anonymous sort that is more of an idea on paper than a full-fledged and completely formed being. I love the way that you question whether to give her shape, and decide against it, allowing the universe to come together as it will. I quite liked this one, my friend.

[Dean]

You have that enviable ability to get to the heart of the matter. Thanks!

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Thank you...I do try so very hard... :)

[Marie]

A ghost of a ghost possibly...?

[Dean]

I think, perhaps, a bit more tangible than that.