Difference between us

This poem is written by me when I was inspired about 'this guy at that time. This is all about me, having a crush on a guy older than me. You'll understand my story when you read the poem. :D

Difference between us

Five inches taller, five years older,

Still your smile makes me insane.

My heart skips a beat,

But I can only reach crush,

We can't be together.

It started with your simple performance,

And your pretty handsome,

Still hopeless I decided to forget 'coz it's just another infatuation of mine.

I look up attending live theater plays again,

Just to see you perform for another time and skip a beat,

It doesn't change when I had saw you again.

You're a good singer that's why you're in a musical play,

That makes me smile for you more,

And hope for you to notice me.

I'm just a normal middle-schooler,

And I think you're in between nineteen to twenties,

That's why i will just remain a fan of you.

Until that I knew,

You're my friends' older brother,

I don't know if I'm gonna be happy or not.

Because I can become closer to you,

Or makes me feel more complicated,

Because of the difference between us.

I felt sorrow, desperation, depression, disappointed,

That I wish I just didn't knew about that,

It makes me really,really feel hopeless and miserable.

Eventhough then,
I realized that for your case it's natural 'coz your twenty-one then,

But for me it's not.

Relief is the answer to my depression,

But in the beginning I already knew that I should not hope on you,

But still I can't help it, your smile,

Eventhough you already had your soulmate.

Author's Note

My idols are always older than me T___T anyway, this poem is dedicated to, let's just say, JRDN ^^ Take note that this is a free verse poem, it has no ryhming words. :D so how was it?? :)