River's Run

  

Flowing swiftly down the way

 

Chasing dreams that wish to stay

 

Never ending love of life

 

Happy sorrows wish to fly

 

Swiftly, swiftly as she goes

 

Faster, faster down the borrows

 

Dripping, dropping on their heads

 

Pooling, puddling in their beds

 

Drowning, dying in her tides

 

Rinsing, washing away the sins

 

Leaving, wasting nothing at all

 

This is just how she always rolls

 

Rivers running ‘round and ‘round

 

Never stopping for a breath

 

Always stealing like a thief in the night

 

Never caught till Morning’s light.

 

Reviews

[quinfinn]

i think the format of this is a bit disconcerting initially, but your words quickly exonerate that aspect of the piece, and, in fact, amplify the "flow" intended.i am not reluctant to admire your imagery and clever analogy herein. well done, great write!

[Sylo's Rose]

what do you mean by the format is disconcerting? what does disconcerting mean?

[Althelia Marie Caine]

Personally, I really like the format of this peom :) I believe it really flows with the way of the poem. It's a unique style that you don't see very often in writing and that's what I like about it. The poem is written in a way that feels, to me personally, that I'm riding a rivers rapids. That's my perception on this at least. All in all I REALLY like this :)

[David Scott]

Ok, the poetry was delightful, but the spacing of the words was a bit too distracting. I like the idea of creating a rolling river effect. Need less right to left space. My neck hurts! ha. Loved the writing though.
Be well.