Morning Commute Blues

Morning Commute Blues

A Poem by Javan
"

read it and find out! :D

"
She had me lost for words,
like I can't find my dictionary.
Her sweet smile could mean anything,
like circles drawn in pictionary.
her sweet words drip,
from candyfloss lips,
and the seas would stand still,
for every wave of her hips.
I see her every day.
Same time, same train,
I always try to catch her eye,
so she can make my day again.
I daydream about our holidays,
on boats, cars, trains, planes,
but by dreams are spoiled,
like make-up in the rain,
because the ring on her finger says
she will never know my name.

© 2012 Javan


My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Reviews

very nice read

Posted 12 Years Ago


oh wow... the ending just sneaks up on you. my favorite line is,

but by dreams are spoiled,
like make-up in the rain,

Nicely done...

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

i love how in every poem of yours you build up the reader and then just hit them with a one-liner at the end. its really good. keep it up!

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

347 Views
3 Reviews
Rating
Added on June 22, 2012
Last Updated on September 9, 2012
Tags: morning, commute, blues, sad, love, crush, cute

Author

Javan
Javan

London, Croydon, United Kingdom



About
Just another 32 year old with an over-active imagination and a half-decent vocabulary. I started writing just to help me get things off of my chest and out of my mind. It's an escape for me. Been.. more..

Writing

Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..