Shine Through

i know this isnt my best, the first stanza is the weakest, and maybe it doesnt make that much sense. so please please please tell me anything you would change about this.!

You call me

And we talk

You hold my hand

As we walk.

I have no idea

Exactly what I feel

I think its love

And this time its real.

Because I feel like I can

Share anything with you

When you said the same

Our emotions shine through.

So tell me all your dreams

And I'll let you laugh at mine

Because I have this feeling

Our love will only progress with time.

Author's Note

i know this isnt my best, i added because i needed help editing it, so constructive critisim please!!

Reviews

[Gregory H.]

Wow i'm amazed...I felt the passion, The only thing I would change would be to ad spaces between your stanzas...But bravo, 100/100 and I'll ad it to my favs...

[Dev]

I liked reading it .. This is a good piece. As for const. criticism, I'm not really good at that.. but I can put in a few thoughts..

[[I have no idea
Exactly what I feel ]] i think it would sound better as how I feel.


[[Because I feel like
I can share anything with you
You said the same
And my emotions shine through.]] The first two lines would sound better if you can rephrase it as " Because I feel like I can , Share anything with you" and the last two lines can be "When you said the same, Our emotions shined through" .. I know this its shone, but i'll stick to ample use of the poetic license

I dunt think I left anything .. but only edit it if you think what i wrote makes sense ,, I am not completely in my mind right now :P

[snapstache]

Love it!