This I Believe

The door slams. I fall onto the wooden bench slamming my elbows down on the piano. It replies with a scream of jumbled noise. I run my fingers through my hair grabbing handfuls. Just trying to keep myself from crying out. Tears streaming down my cheeks onto the black and white keys. I stare down at them through blurred vision. I press my second finger on middle C.

White. Then Black. Then White again. Black. White White. Black White Black White Black White.

C again.

Deep breath.

I look up at the pages in front if me. I don't care what it is or where it starts. I play the first note I see. Right hand melody. Then left hand chords.

Lichner. Of course.

My vision clears as I concentrate on the page in front of me. I lean my body into the keys. I feel the music. I stop thinking. I don't feel anything but the music. My mind goes blank. I just play. Reality is lost. There is nothing but me and the black and white keys.

Just two short years ago, my best friend was taken from me. I have never been able to fully recover and I feel I never will. At times when I am completely...Lost...Alone...At times when all I want to do is SCREAM. Throw things. Rip out all my hair. Cry out all my tears. I feel him. He knew me like no other. He knew I needed to let my hands run across the keys. Let the music take me away from reality. And when I play, I feel him with me. And it all goes away.

This music is what will get me through.

Music brings him back to me.

That is what I believe.

Reviews

[Elmarie]

Nice! My house is filled with music, and we all play, my husband is a professional musician and I know the love of music is a language all on it's own. It is a fantastic piece and I was taken on this sad but joyous journey while I read it. Sydney you have talent. Just a small typo: "Just two shirt years ago" it is probably short. Take care :)

[Sydney Fredrick]

Thank you so much for your encouraging reviews!

Music has definitely always been a passion of mine. It's nice to meet others who feel the same!

And thanks for catching that! I will edit it now. :)

[Sam]

I love the way u say 'He knew me like no other' and 'music brings him back to me'.It explain how close he was and how your heart tries to search him through little things!loved it :)!

[alanwgraham]

Great! I love the first part of this. I totally agree with the idea of losing yourself in music. I had an interesting conversation with a psychiatrist. When I said that I ran he said that's a great way to destress! 'No' - I replied - 'I think when I run. When I really relax is when i'm playing my sax!

[Sydney Fredrick]

Music really is a cure all. ;)

Thank you!

[??????]

I smile because I understand this, No I cant play but I know what it is like to feel the music so much that it takes over sweeping one away:) It's beautiful the most magical thing can happen, and the hard words of a friend that is gone I can understand that part as well. This was a very beautiful write :)

[Sydney Fredrick]

Thank you!
It is a great feeling to know I am not alone in this world. That everyone feels pain. Very encouraging.

[??????]

Yeah your not alone:) Your very welcome:)

[Livi Mariotti]

This is absolutely beautiful, I love it

[Sydney Fredrick]

Thank you! :)
I'm glad you like it.

[antidarkness]

Very good descriptions! I love this. Keep up the great work. :)

[Sydney Fredrick]

Thank you for the support! It means so much! :)

[LastMonth]

So.
First review here. Hopefully I'm doing things right.

This story is meant to be sad, but I can't find myself feeling it.
I can feel despair, I can feel frustration, the words really come to life. I feel anger.

But somehow I cannot feel the grief. Is that on purpose? Is the way the character, or yourself is mourning, is an angsty, angry and frustrated way..?

Purposeful or not, this was a good read. Keep up the good work.

[Sydney Fredrick]

It is actually very funny to me that you asked that question because I did have a very hard time with this piece of writing figuring out how to express my personal feelings since it is such a personal subject to me, it was hard for me to find a way to express my feelings. I don't really think I focused on any emotion. I just tried to describe myself in the best way I could.

But if I reflect back on how I felt during these times I would have to say yes, it was more of a frustrating feeling to me. More angry than sad.

Most of the times that I truly lived out this story, it was because of a bad day or a frustrating experience which lead to me missing him and feeling angry at the world for taking him from me.

Thank you so much for your reviews! They really make me think about my writing on a different level. :)

[LastMonth]

No problem. That was my first review in this site, (Posted about 5 since,) But again I say I like it. The writing is great. I am glad that I didn't offshoot with the anger thing. Best of luck and I'd love to read more of the materials you post.