This is Me

The Words

 

This is Me

It's a very marvelous thing; engaging in the minds and feelings of
others. If nothing else, exchanging thoughts and ideas with fellow
human beings is quite painless way to expand one's horizons. Every
individual offers something profoundly unique and worthy of mild
dissection. Yet I have come to see in my journey that human beings as
a whole are a very lonely race, more specifically, the younger
generation; -my- generation.

To those who are impossible, to those who have deemed themselves too
far in darkness, to those who have been ignored, spurned, or sent
away, I believe it is my purpose, my sole duty, to attempt to give
them an outlet. I alone have decided to act as Beacon for those
unable to be reached by any other means that mankind possess.
Obviously, for reasons beyond my understanding, what we do, or have
the capacity to offer conventionally, isn't enough. I see the failure
of common compassion and kindness each time I walk out of my door and
into the world anew. How unorthodox it is to wish someone a good
morning whom you don't even know, or to offer a compliment to a
stranger whose smile seems so long forgotten. Why is this?

And then, there are my peers. The young ones who think too deeply for
their times, who feel too greatly for their ages, who long too
passionately for something they just can't put a name to. Some may
say it's God. Some may say it's Enlightenment. Some may say it's
Love. Yet aren't they all one in the same and the same in one? Past
the film of human lies and assumptions and opinions and beliefs, are
we not all of the same make? Do we not all share the same emptiness
that we seek desperately to fill? It pains me to watch my friends and
fellow searchers suffer and endure for the sake of a void they do not
know how to fill. This void that is so consuming, so hungry and
insatiable, that each day that dawns is only a new battle to be
fought to curb it. And yet we fight. Well, some do.

But why is this? If we cannot put a name to this foe, one we all can
agree upon to label, then why is it that we as human beings feel the
need and desire to combat it in the hopes of achieving that higher,
that other, that fulfillment? A missing link that we -all- feel
binds us together as brother and sister just as surely as by blood.

I was going to make this discussion about me and my belief in my
purpose. I meant to connect the above with my point and yet, even I
am troubled and do not know how to go on. My path, the one I wish to
lead and do lead with a fervor I might add, is draining, taxing,
exhausting, even at the very best of times. I give because I must. I
listen because I must. I help because I must. I care because I must.
Yet I ultimately must, because I love. Everything I do and am stems
from that love I hold and share for every person on this Earth. Call
me a hypocrite if you like. But the love I speak of transcends
physicality, morality, and all the other lesser planed ideals of
human existance. There is no deserving my smile, there is no
obligation you must fulfill in order for my compliment, there is no
standard you have to meet for one of my hugs or kisses. They are
yours for the taking at face value, they are yours only if you choose
to have them.

I give advice because others find comfort in my words. I offer
compassion because others find a soothing factor to my presence.
There is not one head that has laid upon my lap, that was not set
down because of free will and want. My will and wish to serve is not
lost on anyone, even the coldest and most distant of hearts. I never
request reimbursement, I never demand restitution, what I ask for, is
only that you take what I give and offer it to others, even unto me
should my own need arise. Many though, do not know how to accept this
love, many do not understand how it could even exist or why. For the
most part, the damage done to me is crippling, enough that I myself
must rest and restore my light so that I may once again help another.

So here I state my Fate, torn between destruction of one type and
destruction of another. Am I to live my life as a Beacon, drained and
broken over and over in a neverending cycle that ultimately ends in
my final sleep with the hopes that even one of the people I affected
appreciates me and passes that light on? Or do I close myself off for
good, refusing to indulge even the weakest of warriors with the
healing salve only I can offer in the hopes that I will never be
spurned, scorned, or ignored again?

Can anyone truly deal that fatal blow to all of Mankind in the vessel
of one?

It will not be me my love.
It will not be me.  M

Reviews

[shoaib]

oh wow .. this is the type of poetry i love
your entire soul was left in here
its a think of beauty and mark of a true artist
brilliant work and into my favorites :)

[Forest Green]

Perhaps it's a view of life through a fractured prism. Chained yearnings might be the most powerful kind, and therefore, in the absent of a priori knowledge it is a true enigma.

Your piece seems honest...and revealing.

Daniel