Shelter

I’m just a lonely child, seeking out for a home

With nothing but a heart that doesn’t cease to roam

 

But what is really a home? Does it even exist?

I just feel like a fool as in this quest I persist

 

My sore legs are weary, on this never ending slope

It's easier to go down, to go up requires hope

 

I hear your voice in the distance, which I cannot ignore

Its sweetness seduces me, as it makes my heart soar

 

I reach my hand out to you, tired of being a waif

Hold me tight in your arms; I just want to feel safe

 

I dream that you’d love me and protect me from harm

That you’d cast away fear, that you’d become my charm

 

I hope that my heart, does not bring to you welter

‘Cause all I ask of you, is that you give me shelter

Author's Note

Picture from "The garden of words" (wonderful movie <3)
I hope you enjoyed reading this poem and would love to hear your thoughts about it ^_^

Reviews

[barleygirl]

Relatable & thought-provoking message . . . there are many ways this can be interpreted, which makes it a nice mystery . . . it could be a message to a person we hope to be a friend or lover, it could be to a person playing a "parent" role in one's life, & my favorite interpretation would be as a message to God. One of the most thought-provoking stanzas is #2 - "home" can be many things to different people, so I like your questioning. For the most part, rhyming is good, but in the last stanza, "welter" feels a bit like you're reaching for this rhyme, since the meaning isn't as relatable as the rest of your poem.

[Sweet]

Hello Barley. Thanks so much for reviewing my poem. It's always a pleasure to read your thoughts. I'll take those constructive comments into consideration ^_^
See you around :)

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Beautiful poem! I loved every part more and more as I read on to the end. "My sore legs are weary, on this never-ending slope. It's easier to go down, to go up requires hope." - such a powerful stanza, wow!

[Sweet]

Hello Cyprian ^_^
Thank you very much for sharing your thoughts. Glad you liked it.

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

You're most welcome, Sweet!
How are you??

[Sweet]

Doing fine thx ^_^ how about you ?

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

I'm doing alright. I wrote a good story a couple hours ago, can't complain.
You been writing?

[Sweet]

Nice ^_^ can't wait to read it.
Yeah, have been quite busy but I'm working on a few poem/story.

[Coyote Poetry]

A sad journey when we are needing shelter and a safe place.
"I hope that my heart, does not bring to you welter
‘Cause all I ask of you, is that you give me shelter"
I like the flow of thoughts leading to the above lines. Shelter is needed for us to become whole. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[That Guy]

To seek out love that will not only protect and shelter but will edure the hearts desire for true love through good and bad times...
Nice interactions of words to express your feelings....
Thanks Sweet....

[AliciaB]

I did enjoy reading this poem - very much so! It has a poignant, honest tone; all the speaker wants is rest and protection, and that is touching. I really love the lines "My sore legs are weary, on this never ending slope / It's easier to go down, to go up requires hope." It's a beautiful picture of, really, life itself. Excellent couplet there. Overall, well-written. Great work!

[Sweet]

Hello Alicia. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts, they are very motivating.
Happy to know that the message I wanted to deliver through it was clear ^_^

[Elmarie]

Wow Sweet you truly have a unique way with words and I surely love it. You have to me described the epitome of a woman's needs. Put in a beautiful graceful elegance.

Stunning!!!
Blessings
El

[Sweet]

Thank you very much for your kind words Elmarie, they are really encouraging ^_^
Blessings