My Cathedral

Father wakes up dead every morning

trapped in a house he doesn’t recognize 

the door swings wide more often than it used to

but floors beneath him remain the same

fuzzy orange carpet (just the way he likes it)

thick and dull so you don’t hear the sounds

Father comes home with lead in his shoes

dragging his anxieties like three screaming toddlers 

they’ve grown a lot since he first started working

from cool-aid and freeze pops to vodka and condoms 

He comes home 

exhausted of paying for their 

"mistakes"

I 

walk 

through 

the 

door

The pressure bursts

Voice pounding in my ears like fists

repetitive banging of symbols and drums 

vibrates down to my spine, crushing me

shaking the foundation I’ve been re-building.

I don’t feel it anymore, you’ve already eroded me

eroded me with your constant crash

“Why isn’t anything I do ever good enough?”

fighting with you is like yelling in a cathedral 

at the top of my lungs  

all echos, no answers

Bells ring, it’s that hour again

more than the neighbors turn their heads 

mother cries, sister hides, brother bides his time

they wait for the moment of silence 

the end of the ringing

Reviews

[K.N. Lorenzen]

Sounds like it derives from agonizing, personal experience. I really liked it, especially the first part, which seemed more resignated and "cynical".
You intrigued me by the very first, brilliantly-thought out stanza, which is both chilling and tragicomic.
I think you've managed to create some very original and powerful images. Among my favorite-lines are(including the first stanza):

"the door swings wide more often than it used to"
"Father comes home with lead in his shoes
dragging his anxieties like three screaming toddlers"

Very captivating and....disquieting
A splendid reading-experience!

K.

[buffalosoldier96]

very good poem, nice rhythm to it, Imagery is vivid and beautiful and the finish is well done certainly got me thinking.

[A. Amos]

This is one interesting write and I truly enjoyed, Thank you for sharing

[zainul]

Created a vivid movie where all characters and structure appear very natural.
Expressed eloquently and charmed with your talented style.
Enjoyed reading.

[icelandicblue]

This is an excellent poem. Your imagery is taut and your perspective is fresh. I like this piece very much.

Father comes home with lead in his shoes
dragging his anxieties like three screaming toddlers

I look forward to reading more of you.

[Leandro Mendez]

loved the structure here, great details, and awesome finish! wonderful piece :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i like the use of Cathedral in the title, and Father as in priest father or my father...and he comes home after being worn down by three kids...maybe he was abusive maybe not...but this child has grown and seems to have been the good one...but only gets berated, paying for the sins of the other children and the father himself..

at least that is what i saw here...marvelous piece of writing.. so damn intense.

[Clockwork]

In a way, this one reminds of a song called "King of Carrot Flowers Part 1" by Neutral Milk Hotel. You show us the heart of urban decay and the effect it has on a family. The buildup of all of the emotion was this one was really intense. I think your similes and descriptions shine. I was captivated by these lines: like three screaming toddlers /they’ve grown a lot since he first started working/from cool-aid and freeze pops to vodka and condoms ."

Also, your simile in stanza seven is amazing. It really changes the way I think of cathedrals. Also, it creates a really potent atmosphere around the conversation taking place in this poem.

[SEO]

"fighting with you is like yelling in a cathedral
at the top of my lungs
all echos, no answers"
This just really resonated with me. All your writing is so beautifully vulnerable and honest, I really love it! For me being completely open and honest in my writing is difficult so I admire you're ability to do it so well. This poem evokes such emotion with the vivid imagery, it's so amazing!