Chapter 1

Chapter 1

When I was little, I dreamed dreams that no one would ever know about, until now. I dreamed of my grandfather’s house which was surrounded by woods, wild flowers, and beautiful life, that seemed non existent otherwise. I dreamed of the house that my mother had gone to on weekends when she was little. Where the attic was nailed shut from the inside and strange occurrences where plentiful by day and night. I dreamed of fairy tails with gallant princes, and prison guards, that would sweep me off my feet, and love me for as long as eternity would let them. I dreamed of my wedding day as I would stand in the center of the Charleston battery square, and say my vows to my prince from the far gone dreams. I dreamed of a career as someone amazing, yet unable to be named.

Only years after I stopped having these dreams, did I realize that my dreams weren’t just dreams and that even when I had been having them they where coming together in reality in bits and pieces.

I guess they started when I was about six years old. I was running along the shore, in front of the stretch of property my grandfather owned. My sister was watching the tadpoles in a near by silver puddle which had accumulated from the earlier summer shower, which were very plentiful at this time of year. The water was murky and appeared the silver that I saw.

I watched for a few seconds, in a state of bemusement at how that could possibly be so exciting, that it caused her to call out in surprise every other second. I was subject to hearing it twice, before I sat on the rocks that were used for tying down our grandfather’s old rickety barge, that he called a boat. The rocks were as silver as the water
with the twisting ripples of Grey hues going in every direction.

For a kid you see, I was pretty serious at times, as I am now. I guess in retrospect I haven’t change much at all from that six year old little girl. I take everything as a literal, even though I’ve been alive long enough to realize that almost everything that comes out of a persons mouth, is sarcasm, or some form of joke.

I never really had a chance to play around when I was little, or I should say that I really never had the want to, because I always thought it was silly and never really bothered with it. But on that day it seemed as I sat on those rocks, I felt an odd urge to join my sister.

To this day I can’t explain why I got up from those rocks with their chains cemented to their eroded edges, and tripped my way over to my twin sisters left side. Then as if mimicking and pursuing her inevitable action began to splash about in an attempt to catch the tadpoles. My sister found this to be even more fun than just watching them jump about, from edge to center and back to edge.

Maybe they were trying to change their fate of dying in the earliest stage of life, once the sun dried them up of course. Or maybe they merely wanted to savor every moment they would have with a bit of jumping about, within an inch or so of murky silver water.

Either way I felt an odd compassion for them, as I caught three in the palms of my hands and watched them play in the water that had come with them. At that moment I wished to be those care free tadpoles. I wished to be something different than a serious six year old that on a whim joined her sister in a simple sort of care free pleasure.

I heard my grandma’s raspy, singsong voice, in the breeze above my head after my few moments of simple reflection and contemplation. She was calling out for us, to come to lunch. So my sister and I abandoned our little tadpole friends, who’s lifespan which we took little notice of were shortening by the minute, and began an up hill trek to the log cabin, in its two hundred years of glory, in which my paternal grandparent’s lived.

“Savannah, Sarah come on sweet-pea’s its time to eat!” My grandma called again, with her thick southern accent.

Back then both my sister and I had even thicker accents than my grandma, which was pretty hard to accomplish. But still it is singsong like to my ears, and still to this day, in my opinion, the prettiest accent to have.

“Coming grandma!” Sarah called as she ran ahead of me to get first dibs on the silly cups our grandmother had collected since we where born. Even at my current age of now I still have my favorite one out of all of them secretly hidden away in the back of a cupboard in my small apartment sized kitchen.

I still went at a leisurely pace as I took in the Daffodils and Queen Ann’s Lace. We would dye them eventually in food coloring of greens blues and reds which actually came out pink in time. I stopped and pulled two of each from the root with dirt and all spurting out of the ground.

There was a bug on one of the Daffodils undersides and because I was still a little girl no matter how serious I seemed. I screamed at the top of my lungs and dropped the flowers on the ground.

When I looked at it again I realized the bug was actually a sleepy firefly that had curled itself under the Daffodils blanket like folds. I seemed to have startled it too as it wobbled a little while it flew away.

Like I had earlier for the tadpoles I once again felt a strong compassion. But this time it was for the firefly as I realized how hard it must have been for him to get a good night or rather days sleep.

I picked up the flowers after hearing my grandma calling me again.
“I’m comin!” I called back agitatedly as I trotted in an odd six year old type of fashion.

To be honest sometimes I still run with those ungraceful steps. Maybe I just want to recreate those wonderful moments when I actually acted my age.

I ran up the rocky uphill path past the gate with their big carriage wheels attached for decoration, past the flower beds where little buds stuck up from the newly unfrozen earth, and onto the old fashion wood porch where my grandma stood in waiting for me with my sister on her slumped hip.

My grandma was as kind as they could get she was old with her gray hair thick glasses and slightly wrinkled skin. But it didn’t take away from the image she still had of that sweet young woman with her pretty neigh length dress still not changed from morning church and curled shoulder length curls that where now cut to her ears in a summer stile. She was an amazing Cook too. She could make anything both sugar and sugar free well accept apple pie… She never did perfect that one but it was pretty good most of the time.

Grandma took me to the kitchen after taking hold of my outstretched hand. The house was divided into two halves the kitchen and the rest. It was really nice at this time of year because it wasn’t too cold to sit outside and enjoy the view. I miss going there every summer. But still being at that age I didn’t know what would or could happen.

Sarah and I sat at the kitchen table as grandma set plates of chopped ham grilled cheese sandwiches and potato chips in front of us. I took a bite after saying grace and made a displeased face as did Sarah.

“Grandma you got our sandwiches mixed up!” Sarah said as she spit out the bite she had taken onto her plate. Which I found disgusting and gave the rest to me as I did to her with the one I had bitten into.

My sister and I where horribly picky, I always had mayonnaise on my grilled cheese and Sarah’s was always plain.

“Oh I’m sorry angels. Do you want me to remake them?” My grandma said. She was always willing to do anything for us but we never accepted for her to remake it. Even then we knew that was being horribly rude.

“Naw were okay grandma don’t worry!” I chimed after her question.

After lunch Sarah and I ran back outside and down to my grandpas shed where all of his tools and doohickeys that I still don’t know the names to where kept.

“Let’s play hide n’seek” Sarah called a little ways ahead of me on the dirt path.

“All right, your it though!” I called and pointed to a big oak near the shed behind my grandparents house.

“Fine” Sarah called back as she put her small face to the tree and closed her huge chocolate brown eyes.

“1, 2, 3…” I heard Sarah start.

I ran out of her sight on the other side of the barn, knowing that she would peek if I didn’t. I didn’t hear anything but the sound of Sarah getting closer to ten as I ran into the over abundant woods, that surrounded my grandparents property.

I ran past the torn down bobbed wire fence and down a steep hill to the side of the river that flowed from there to the shore we had been at earlier. I ran along faster as I heard a branch brake from behind. I thought it was most likely Sarah so I just kept running.

That was probably the only age I was faster than Sarah you see.

I ran farther than I had ever been in the woods before, and eventually stopped after nearly running my self into a small asthma attack. It was getting late and I could see the sky changing colors from light blue to pink and then to dark violet from above the trees which included the one I was sitting under currently.

I heard a tree branch snap on the ground from behind the tree and thought it must be Sarah but when I looked behind all I saw where evergreens and the forest floor. Or at least it seemed like a forest at my height of four foot nothing.

I looked back around again then turned back to my former position with my eyes straight ahead.

The fireflies where everywhere now coming from their sleepy hideaways willingly, and I remembered my sleepily startled little friend from earlier.

I stood up as I heard a branch break, this time from above me. Being a little girl I believed highly in the fact that monsters did indeed exist. So you can only imagine, the ideas running through my head.

So I got to my feet and began to run in the direction I thought I had come from earlier.

“Grandpa, Grandma, Sarah Anyone!?” I screeched as I ran from the shadows and sounds that began to fill my surroundings as the darkness became thicker and I ran faster.

Eventually I couldn’t see two feet in front of me. But even then I didn’t stop running. As it seemed I was getting farther and farther into the woods instead of out. I was to terrified at this point to notice as I ran but I still continued to scream at the top of my lungs.

After what seemed like hours of running tripping and screaming I fell to the ground against a hollowed tree in attempts to calm myself down. Of course this really didn’t do anything for me, but I didn’t really care at this point. My voice no longer found it possible to scream as I whispered names in between breaths, my eyes where still virtually useless and the cold from the still early spring had made the pain in my sandaled feet virtually numb, with it being about 40 degrees.

I curled into a ball inside the hallowed tree and put my head on my neighs.

“I love my sweet baby I love you I do I love my sweet baby all the night through…” I whispered remembering the lullaby my grandma had made to sing to my sister and I when we where infants.

This eventually brought me to the point of near sleep as I lay down on the moss covered groined. I heard foot steps approaching softly with the light braking of the soft ground as my warning, but I didn’t have the strength or want to see what was coming closer. It seemed though that what ever it was wasn’t at all cautious as it approached but it was steady knowing of what it was going to do.

I lay with my eyes barely open now, I remember seeing a blurry something that seemed like a face looking in at me, from the opening of the hallowed tree. I felt arms picking me up after that from around the waist. The hands where gentle but large like the hands of a father. I assumed it was my grandpa as I put my arms around a surprisingly cold neck and let out a noise of relief as the person secured me to their waist and smoothed back my disheveled curls and knotted hair. It felt so nice to be carried in that moment as I felt a soothing weightlessness.

I realized while we where walking that the person smelt nothing like the musk of my grandpa and that their skin was pale even in the dim moonlight. I guess I didn’t comprehend this as we went because I don’t remember struggling but only embracing the soft scent of peppermint and lilac.

“That’s a good girl.” An unfamiliar voice that was so soothing it seemed unnatural spoke, as I felt my self drift deeper and deeper into the embrace of this persons arms. I felt no fear as I did so.

We arrived back on my grandparent’s property after what seemed like only a few moments. I might have fallen in and out of a light sleep in that time I don’t really remember. But I remember looking up into amber eyes that where bordered by beautiful blond hair as I was carried at a walk across the yard. It was as if after I saw those eyes, I saw nothing else, as I fell into a sleep so peaceful and I never have experienced it twice. Not even after all the years of my life. And to be honest that is where my dreams of my future realities truly began.