Oak Island Chapter 7: Can Cassie forgive?

Can Cassie forgive? (This chapter has some distressing medical stuff in it. Be careful if you are triggered by such things.)

Chapter 7

Ezra did go to his fancy party. The rattle of the front door awoke me. I looked at the clock. Just past midnight. He was home early. Paul's parties usually went on til the early hours of the morning. I didn't want to talk to him, so I turned my back to the door, hoping he'd think I was sleeping. His footsteps came into the bedroom and I sensed him at my side. 

“Cassie. Cassie, I know you're not asleep. Please talk to me.” I opened my eyes and found Ezra kneeling at my side. He looked distraught. “Cassie, please forgive me. I was wrong to look in your phone, I was wrong to accuse you of anything.” He took one of my hands. I pulled my hand away.

“Just saying you're sorry won't fix this, Ezra. What on earth made you look in my phone in the first place?” He looked down. “Why, Ezra?”

“I was looking for Cheryl's number. I wanted to tell you you'd left your phone at home.”

“But that wouldn't have shown you Cheryl's text to me or the phone log of me calling Leo. All that happened weeks ago.”

“I don't know. Honestly, Cassie, I don't know why I did it.” He was looking at me with such pure misery on his face. “I get crazy ideas, like you aren't happy with me or I don't do enough for you, so I start thinking crazy things. Suspect you of insane things. I know you're faithful, that you'd never go behind my back, I know you'd never cheat, but some part of me thinks you must be happier with someone else. Like that Leo guy. You're always talking about him.”

“Leo Lansing is a very good friend from a long time ago. He's not some guy. And it is exaggeration to say I talk about him all the time.”

Ezra took one of my hands again. “Please forgive me, Cassie. I promise I won't do this ever again.” 

“Why do you think you don't do enough for me? Why do you think I'm not happy being with you?” He was now holding my hand in both of his.

“You look so sad sometimes.” He brought my hand to his lips, kissing my knuckles. “You look so sad and I feel like it's my fault, that I am not fulfilling you.”

“Ezra, my mother is dying. I'm going to look sad sometimes. Life is sad sometimes. I can't be happy all the time, that's not how life works.” 

“You still love me?” He was on his knees, imploring me, looking so wretched and pathetic. 

“Yes, Ezra, I still love you.” 

“Will you forgive me?” He was begging and I couldn't say no.

“Yes, Ezra, I forgive you, but remember this conversation the next time you start getting crazy ideas. You can't do this again.” 

He pulled me into his arms. 

***

Monday night I gave up on having a quiet life. Sunday Ezra was at my elbow all day, eager to show his love and penitence. I was glad to get to work Monday morning, back to numbers and figures that made sense. But as I was relaxing with a glass of wine before Ezra's arrival home from work, my phone played Cheryl's ringtone. 

I put my wineglass down when I heard Cheryl's voice. She sounded irrational from some kind of strong  emotion.

“Cheryl. Cheryl, listen. Try to calm down. Tell me what's wrong.”

“The baby, I'm losing the baby.” She was crying so hard it was difficult to  make out what she was saying. 

“OK, I understand. What do you need?” I tried to stay calm and not get caught up in her distress. 

“The bleeding, it won't stop.” Oh my god, what does that mean?

“Hang up right now and call 911. OK Cheryl? Do you hear me? Call 911. I'll meet you at the hospital.” 

I had to struggle through rush hour traffic to get to the hospital. Cheryl had already been admitted and I was told to wait. The waiting room was uncomfortable and crowded. Couldn't they put more chairs in here? Everyone looked preoccupied with their own troubles, talking quietly with family or immersed in silent pain. There wasn't even an end table with stale magazines. 

After an hour, I was called back to the exam room where Cheryl was. Sitting up in the bed, she had her knees up and her arms folded across her stomach. She looked pale and in pain, but was not frantic any more. She winced as I sat down in the chair next to her bed. 

“What's going on?” I asked as I put my hand on her arm. 

“The miscarriage was not complete, some was left in my uterus.”

“What are they doing for you?” 

“They gave me this medicine, to help finish it, get everything out. I could have had a D&C but I didn't want to risk damage to my uterus.”

“Cheryl, I'm so sorry.” She gripped my hand. “Does it hurt?”

“The cramps are bad. Like the worst period ever, times ten.” 

“Are they going to keep you here long? How long will it take to... be done?” 

“They're sending me home. It will be easier to deal with this at home. They say getting in the shower helps. Can you stay with me for a while? Ted is on a plane right now, flying back here from Chicago.”

“Chicago?” I was confused.

“He was planning on visiting his parents in Illinois. I dropped him at the airport this morning. He'll be here in a couple of hours. Can you stay with me?” She started crying, holding my hand hard. 

“Of course I can. I can drive you home and stay with you as long as you need me.” 

***

A frantic Ted arrived at eleven. I calmed him before he went in to see Cheryl. She didn't need someone freaking out on her. The worst was over and now she was tired and forlorn. I left them together, Cheryl in bed and Ted by her side.

As I drove home, my thoughts were now insistent. Did I want children? Did I want to marry Ezra? Did I want to marry anyone? I had always assumed I'd have children, but did I really want that? I'd always assumed I'd get married eventually. But Ezra? That whole jealous scene made me think No. But he promised to not do it again. We worked it out. And he was so good to me sometimes. I thought about the Italian dinner he made for me for our anniversary. We all have our flaws. Ezra seemed to have a lot, but maybe I did, too. Unbidden came the image of Leo wiping the corner of my mouth.

I pushed that away and mentally shook myself. I needed to focus on driving.

Author's Note

Any comments welcome, large of small. Thank you for reading,

Reviews

[AUU]

1. I don't think you need that opening line, if instead you adjust the line from, "He was home early." to "Ezra was home early."

2. I don't think you need the line, "I didn't want to talk to him" because the following lines do a really good job showing she doesn't.

3. "I wanted to tell you you'd left..." you'd sounds weird to me. I know it's you had, but idk.

4."Ezra, my mother is dying....that's not how life works." So I like this interaction with Ezra, it feels natural enough. Cassie sounds like she's speaking to a child, and maybe that's what you want, and if it is great. This isn't a nitpick just an observation.

5. It's an odd thing, for all intents and purposes Cassie hasn't cheated on Ezra, but his mistrust isn't really misplaced is it? Cassie has been a bit push-offish and Ezra is noticing that, feeding into his "crazy" is a bit smart. I don't think Ezra is a saint, but I do think that empowering Cassie to be in the right and Ezra the wrong a bit risky. There's a slight slant favoring Cassie, and I also see some grays, but I feel as though we're just waiting for Ezra to do something really stupid for Cassie to call it quits. Just my thoughts.

6.I find it kind of clinical how you treat Cassie's work-life. Work plays such a big part of our lives---no matter how much we detest it. I think you're shying away from it because that's not the story's focus, and that's fine, I just wonder if there is an opportunity there for more story.

7. "She sounded irrational from some kind of strong emotion." Chance for some dialogue? Like I said before, I don't mind this because it leaves my imagination to fill in the rest, but I do think it can be powerful with some strong dialogue.

8. "The baby, I'm losing the baby...the bleeding, it won't stop." Wow. That took a total left turn, at first I thought Cheryl was calling to share some bad news. I honestly can't fathom why someone wouldn't call 911 right away instead of a friend. I guess...emotions?

9. "Cheryl had already been admitted..." I think you can cut "already."

10. "Couldn't they put more chairs in here?" Good line because it takes us right into Cassie's head, more powerful than the previous line.

11. "Sitting up in the bed....she winced as I sat down in the chair next to her bed." I think there is potential here for some great subtle description of Cheryl and her pain. Maybe it's that last line? "she was pale, and winced as I sat down in the chair next to her bed."

The following lines about the miscarriage kind of tell us how much pain she is in.

12. "It will be easier to deal with at home." Not sure if this line is needed.

13. "She didn't need someone freaking out on her." Hmmmmmm...well. I mean. realistically somoeone wouldn't be freaking out on her unless they thought she had something to do with the miscarriage, and Ted never struck me as that type of dude. Either I think your intentions with this line came out a bit off, or you're showing a kind of mean trait that Cassie has. The latter is totally fine, unlikable traits are good IMO. Just sharing my thoughts.

13. I feel as though Cassie is going in circles with Ezra. She keeps coming to the same thoughts over and over again of not wanting to be with him, but staying with him. I'm kind of wanting development from her. I think it's coming, but it's been slow---and I'm kind of dreading the idea of Ezra doing something so s**t that readers demand Cassie breaks up with him. The back and forth seems realistic enough, I just find it frustrating to read about. Don't go changing anything because what I feel. If that's your vision, then own it. I might just have a different perspective than others.

Otherwise. Good read. I think there is opportunity to tighten the bolts of some lines. I'm marking this as the end of this read through, and will now start from the rewrite.

[SweetNutmeg]

Thank you so much, your observations are always so helpful. You're really helping me gauge if I am communicating what I intended.

The thing with Ted and him freaking out, i need to rewrite or just cut, because I was imagining a husband frantic with worry about the well being of his wife after being on airplanes for the last 12 hours, without any specific news of exactly what happened. So just generally being an emotional mess when Cheryl needs calm people around her right now. So I'll have to re-think that.

I was not deliberately trying to frustrate my readers. (Sometimes I do, lol ) I guess I've kept her hanging in the middle of all this inner conflict for a while now without taking into account my reader's urgency for something to happen to break things open. I will reorganize my thoughts and see what direction i want to take now.

You're the best. I appreciate your time and attention.

[Shep]

Still really good I wouldn't change a thing other than that fact I that Ezra he is not a good person to trust and is full of flaws. awesome writing.

[SweetNutmeg]

Ezra has really shown himself to be untrustworthy. What a jerk! lol Thank you for reading and reviewing.

[Isemay]

Wow. I am dying for you to continue this. I read it from start to finish in one sitting, could not stop!

You did have one instance where I think you left in Tinder instead of switching it to Oak, otherwise no problems jumped out at me.

[SweetNutmeg]

Thank you so much for the huge compliment of not being able to stop reading! I will check the story for using Tinder one more time. I appreciate you pointing that out.