Tinder Island Chapter 1

Please see "Oak Island"

Chapter One

There is something about moisture rich air that brings out an intensity of color. The greens and browns of the foliage glowed as we entered the road leading to the center of the island. We were surrounded by the oak trees, pines and palm trees. Under the lush forest canopy were smaller palms, grasses and various bushes I could not identify. 

Ezra and I had been driving for two hours, from Mantville to Tinder Island, South Carolina. He looked over at me. “How long has it been since you were here, Cassie?” 

“Oh, ten years at least. I think the last time Aunt Pam packed us all up and drove here was when I was 12 or 13. I don't know how she handled seven children, all five of my cousins, me and Leo.”

“Who is this Leo guy? You've mentioned him before.” Ezra sounded disgruntled.

“Leo Lansing was my best friend in childhood. He lived down the street from me. I haven't been back to Pine Street since... I was eighteen.” I laughed. “I still remember his mother's number. Leo and I went to the same school and the same summer day camp. We were on the swim team together in middle school, too. We sort of went our separate ways once high school started, but before that we were inseparable.”  During high school, we kept in touch sporadically, but we hadn't seen each other at all since I left for Cornell. I had left a lot behind when I left for Cornell.

Coming back to the present, I said, “I wonder who else will be there. Janine said over a dozen people will be there.” Janine had organized this whole event, a weekend long  five year high school reunion.

“Is this the place, Cassie?” Ezra asked. 

Spanish moss wept from the oak tree shading Mrs. Musgrove's house. Mrs. Musgrove handled most of the rentals on the west beach of Tinder Island. It was all as I remembered it. The same tall pines, the same white shell driveway, the same worn brick path. 

“This is it.”   

Ezra climbed the long flight of steps up to Mrs. Musgrove's front door. He was in charge of the financial aspect of this trip. 

I sat quietly in the car. The smell of the ocean reached me and I twined my long, curly red hair into a loose bun. The humidity was making my hair go wild. When Ezra returned, I was rubbing sunscreen onto my cheeks.

“Why did you put up your hair? I love it down.” He kissed my temple, running his hands down my bare arms. He worked his way down to my ear and traced the line of my cheek bone with his lips, until he encountered the sunscreen. “Yech, that tastes awful. What is it?” 

I displayed the tube of sunscreen. “My delicate Cassie, do you really burn so easily?” 

“I'm going to get a sunburn no matter what, it just depends how bad it will be.” 

He squeezed me to him, saying, “We must be careful with you.”

When he released me and prepared to start the car, I asked, "Which house do we have?" 

"High Tide," he said. "Do they all have names?"

"Yes, and we got the best one! It's the very last house before the wildlife preserve starts, and it's really big."

From the outside, High Tide was an A-frame house perched on stilts with decks running right around the entire house.  The interior was a well worn, lived in, comfortable space. Sliding glass doors in the living room looked out onto the ocean. 

After dumping our luggage and provisions, I hurried to get out of my shoes and down onto the beach. By the time Ezra was at the top of the steps, I was calf deep in surf, the sand shifting under my feet like a live thing. The tide was going out, pulling the wet sand with it and sucking at my ankles. I was balanced and grounded as I had not been for months. Stress drained out of me, leaving me light and energized.

I ran up from the water's edge to where Ezra was planted. He still had his sandals on.  I took him by the hand and pulled him, saying, "The water's wonderful. We should go for a swim."

"I'm still putting away the groceries. Which bedroom do you want?" 

"How can you resist this, Ezra?" I gestured to the sand and the water, the birds and the salt air. 

"We need to unpack." 

"C'mon, come for a walk with me. All that can wait. The others won't be here until tonight." 

Ezra turned and climbed the stairs without a word. I sighed and turned back with him, rinsing my sandy feet off at the dribbling spigot by the door. 

We took the bedroom upstairs that looked out on the ocean. I was glad we had first pick. As Ezra put away all our dry goods, I unpacked our suitcases. I left our swim clothes in colorful pile on the bed. As soon as I was finished with my task, I got into my ultramarine suit, then began applying sun block. Ezra joined me and donned his own navy and orange trunks. 

“Do my back, would you Ezra?” I asked, and pulled the trailing wisps of hair that escaped my bun up and out of the way. He took the tube of cream from me and squeezed a bit on my back. Knowing how quickly my fair skin burns, he was very thorough, getting under the straps of my suit and right up to my hair line. As he finished, he murmured in my ear, “Cassie, you are too lovely to share. Are you sure you want to go out?” I leaned back into his embrace.

***

  

We eventually got down to the beach, as the afternoon began to cool. We took a walk instead of swimming. I splashed about in the small waves as Ezra walked on the packed wet sand. We had turned east for our walk and when we retraced our steps, we were walking right into the setting sun. I pulled my floppy hat down to shade my face. It was a spectacular sunset. When the sun was an ember on the horizon, we went back inside to change out of our swim suits. 

I was drying my hair when I heard others arriving. Janine was in a rush when we formed our plans, and I still did not know who would be sharing the beach house with us. I came down in my white and green dress, hair twisted up in a loose french knot. 

Marie Mangano was in the living room. She gave me tight hug. Petite with black hair and black eyes, Marie looked much the same as she had five years ago. She introduced me to her husband Donnie Ribisi, a dark handsome man. She had evidently fulfilled her mother's wish that she marry an Italian. There was more conversation in the kitchen. 

“Who else is here?” I asked Marie.

“Cheryl Bonright and her husband. Leo is coming later. I think that's it for our place. There are four bedrooms, right?”  

When I poked my head in the kitchen, I found Cheryl. She had dark tomato red hair sticking up in spikes. In high school, she loved changing her hair so much you could never identify her that way. Tonight I recognized her by her fine sharp nose and delighted laugh. When she saw me, she pulled me to her side and introduced her husband, Ted. He was a blonde, athletic looking man with rugged features.

Ezra was on a stool by the counter, drinking red wine. Tall and narrow, he somehow seemed to take up more space than Ted, although Ted was the larger man. Ezra's  black hair was precisely styled into a fashionable shape and his red glasses focused his sharp features, making him look even leaner than he was. 

When Cheryl released me, Ezra poured me a glass of wine. As if we were alone, Ezra wrapped an arm around my waist and kissed my neck, saying in an undertone, “I love your hair. You look beautiful.” I felt a flush rising that had nothing to do with embarrassment.  

Once the other guests stowed their belongings, Cheryl called Janine. Janine's beach house was full too, with two more couples in addition to Janine and Henry. Everyone was there except Leo. We arranged to meet at the Greek restaurant, The Dolphin, for a late dinner.

 

***

After our boozy dinner, wanting to reminisce more, Cheryl, Marie and I collected more beers from the fridge and took over the living room. We shooed away the men and they went to bed. Ezra looked mutinous, but Ted said, “Gotta let the ladies do their thing.”

Once they were gone, Marie congratulated me on my handsome, fashionable boy friend. 

“I always thought she would end up with Leo,” Cheryl informed Marie. “He's been in love with Cassie since kindergarten.”

“Yeah, why didn't you go with Leo?” Marie asked. 

“Oh no, we were always like brother and sister,” I explained. 

Cheryl snorted. “You might have seen him as a brother, but he definitely had more than brotherly feelings for you.” No, they were exaggerating. I ignored Cheryl's words.

Steering the conversation away from myself, I asked Marie if her mother approved of her choice of a husband. “She was always going on about your Italian blood. Does Donnie measure up enough for your mother?” 

*** 

Ezra was still asleep and a rosy dawn was creeping up when I awoke. I heard the roar of surf and smiled. The salt smell enfolded me in memories of those tiny cereal boxes that, when torn at the perforations,  converted into makeshift bowls. In our tribe of children, myself, Leo and all my cousins, they were a special treat only to be had on our trips to Tinder Island.  

The house was deserted when I emerged onto the deck with coffee. I let the breeze blow into my face, the moisture laden air curling my hair as it streamed out behind me. When my coffee mug was drained, I went inside to change into my bathing suit. I grabbed a granola bar on my way out the door.

I walked east. Still low in the sky, the sun now painted a pale gold path across the waves. Past the  beach houses and then past the camping area, I walked on. Sand pipers darted into and away from the gentle waves. The water curled across my toes, cool and foamy. I could feel the salt stiffening my hair, so I twisted it into a loose braid to keep it from becoming hopelessly tangled. Beyond the dunes held down by grasses, tall, slender palm trees emerged from the loose underbrush. It was deserted and untouched. I could imagine the first Europeans arriving and finding the beach just like this. 

As I walked on, a small figure in the distance eventually revealed itself to be Leo. His hair had changed since high school. Instead of a huge mess of frizz, he had a mop of short curls. His navy swim trunks and gray t-shirt were quietly stylish, differing from the old t-shirts and faded jeans he wore when we were kids. His expression was the same though. There was something, not exactly soft, but something… calm and quiet in his large brown eyes and full mouth.

He was contemplating the clear, unruffled water of  a tide pool when I arrived. He looked up and smiled as I came to stand next to him.

When we were kids, we both liked the early morning and were off before anyone else woke. Now here we were again, the first ones up. I gazed into the tide pool as well. Tiny seashells in blue and gray, pink and cream were strewn between the rippling ridges of sand in the crystal water. 

“When did you get here last night?”

“About one. Not too late. It's good to see you,” Leo said.

“I haven't seen you since the day I left for Cornell. I should have called you when I got back.” 

“I should have called you when I heard you were back.” His mild gaze absolved me. “You brought someone back with you. His name is Ezra?”

“You'll get to meet him today.” I paused. “How did you know his name?” 

“Janine. Janine always knows everything.”  

A ragged line of seaweed and flotsam indicated the high tide line several feet away from the pool. Leo dipped his fingers into the water and plucked out a dark triangular shape. It was the size of my thumb. 

He offered it to me. It was a fossilized shark's tooth. I inspected it closely, feeling the smooth surface, thinking of how long sharks have cruised the ocean, how little they have changed. When I glanced up, Leo was looking at me, not at the shark's tooth. He refused to take it when I tried to hand it back. 

"Keep it. To remember," he said. 

Remember what? The reunion, our contemplation of the tide pool, the beauty of Tinder Island? Leo himself? Cheryl's words from last night came back to me. I shivered.

Leo noticed my shiver and said, “Here, take my shirt. We don't want you freezing.” He pulled it off over his head.

I couldn't deny I was cold. My skin was quilted with goose bumps. “Thank you.” I took the shirt. Reluctantly, because I knew Ezra wouldn't like this act of chivalry. But I took it. It was old and faded, soft from many washings. Still warm from his body, it felt good when I put it on.

We turned our backs on the rising sun, walking back to the beach house. 

“You studied accounting?” Leo asked.

“Yeah. Sort of boring, but I wanted to be financially independent straight  out of college. What have you been doing?”

“Mine is sort of boring too, I went to Mantville tech for electrical systems.” 

“I bet you're making money hand over fist. We will never stop needing electricians.”

He laughed. “I never thought of it that way. But, yeah, I've got pretty steady work.”

 “We haven't been here together since we were 11, I think. I remember it was the year that you found a Portuguese man o' war jelly fish washed up on shore.”

“Yeah, that thing was huge. I'm glad your Aunt Pam stopped me before I touched it.”

We became so absorbed in memories of past visits to Tinder Island, I forgot to return Leo's t-shirt before coming in sight of the house. 

Ezra greeted me on the deck, saying, “Where have you been? We were worried.” His tone of annoyance broke into anger when he noticed Leo's shirt, and Leo himself. “Take that off.” He didn't even bother to greet Leo, just strode back into the house. 

***

I cornered Ezra in the pantry. “Ezra! How could you do that?” I hissed this so that the others in the living room wouldn't hear us. 

“I don't like that guy. Why were you wearing his shirt?”

“You don't even know him. I took his shirt because I was cold.”

“Janine said he was some work man and that he was in love with you.”

“He's an electrician and he is not in love with me. We were friends. And it doesn't matter who is in love with me. I am with you, and I'm going to stay that way.” I was getting really mad. “You think I am unfaithful? You think I am a cheater?”

Ezra was abashed when he said, “No, I didn't mean that.”

“Then stop being so jealous. You insult me when you act like that.” I glared at him and he looked cowed, so I said, “You're going to go out there and let me introduce you to Leo and you will be pleasant to him.” 

***

 

It cost him a great deal of effort, but Ezra managed to be civil to Leo the rest of the weekend. 

I had to spend the greater part of the day in the shade, escaping the burning rays of the sun. I ended up with a bit of a sunburn anyway, across my nose and cheeks, and on my shoulders. Up in our bedroom as we changed out of our suits for dinner, Ezra soothed my burnt skin with an herbal gel he had brought along with me in mind. 

After sunset, we had dinner at Jack's Shack, a seafood place that offered standard American food... fish sandwiches, fried calamari, popcorn shrimp. Ezra had wanted to take me to The Dolphin again, but it was too expensive for the others. 

“We can afford it, honey. I don't want deep fried seafood with a mediocre dipping sauce.” 

“Everyone is going to Jack's. They have good crab cakes.” When he looked like he was going to argue more, I said, “Please do my the favor. It would make me happy. I have great memories of Jack's.” He relented.

After dinner Ezra and I went on a long walk, west into the nature preserve, away from everyone else. Everything was washed silver by the full moon and we made love in its magic light.      

***

The next morning, Sunday, we went through the hectic process of packing up and making sure the house was in good order before we returned the keys. It had been a nice weekend, spending time with my old friends. Lots of drinking, lots of stories and lots of old jokes.

I was clearing out the fridge when Cheryl came down with her bag packed. 

“Let someone else do that, Cassie. You've cleaned practically the whole kitchen by yourself.”

“This is the last thing we need to do,” I said over my shoulder. “I'm almost done.”

“We should get together in Mantville. We shouldn't have to drive out to Tinder Island to see each other. Let's have lunch.”

***

Ezra was grumpy on the way back to Mantville. Spending time with so many cheerful people made me notice how often Ezra was ill tempered. And possessive. He didn't like the solitary walk Leo and I had enjoyed together. He didn't like me staying up with the girls. He didn't like me wandering off on my own. He only seemed content when I was there with him, at his side. 

During one of our spats, about where we would eat lunch, I caught Cheryl watching us. She turned away quickly when she saw me notice her, but I had seen the look of intense dislike on her face.

Author's Note

Any and all comments are welcome. This is a work in progress, the first rough draft. I appreciate all comments, small details and broader issues. It's all good.

Reviews

[WeirdBeard]

I have read all 5 chapters that you have written so far. It is really good and flows really well. Good work!

You may want to consider some sort of hook at the beginning like "little did I know this short trip would be the beginning of big changes in my life..." or something like that. Something to pull the reader into the story.

You may want to add some non-visual descriptions. You mention the smell of "salty air" and that is good. But if you could expand on that a little, I think it might help. Textures (like soft sweater) and tastes, too, would add to the story, too. But this is a minor thing and is just a suggestion.

This is really good writing, each part flows into the next, so I don't think it needs any really big changes. Congrats on the the good work!

[SweetNutmeg]

Thank you so much for your kind review. :)

Creating a hook is one of my major downfalls. I tried to fill this initial chapter with lots of conflict and hints at past histories. But i guess I need to work on that more.

The lack of non-visual descriptions is another downfall of mine. I will comb through the entire story and see where I can put in sounds, textures and smells.

I'm super glad to hear things flow. I was concerned about the first chapter being disjointed and jumpy.

Thank you for your encouragement. I appreciate it.

[CJ Barnard]

Why is it that we always notice the small.thisng too late, or that a friend will notice them long before us, and we wont believe them!?

[SweetNutmeg]

Thanks for the review! Yeah, hindsight really is clear.

This unfortunately is the first version of Oak Island, and I am no longer working on either one right now. I usually focus just on my work in progress, which is Phoenix right now. But I super appreciate the time you took to read and review. It's very kind and I always always feel grateful when someone put so much time and effort into critiquing my works. Thank you for being a part of what makes this site great!

[Ruly]

I am not a fan of romantic novellas, and the only reason I read your first chapter was because I thought I would find something worth spending time reading.
The first chapter only told me that your main character is in an ill relation. Your other character is temperamentally unfit for your star. And the last paragraph really spooks me away from reading the next chapter.
Can you find a way to make me interested in your story? I dint see anything, but a telegraph telling me with certitude, this is shaping up to a huge jealousy silly melodramatic stage that could well make me discontent.
Can you find an interesting plot? Or at least a brightly, joyful or subtle theme? Let your emotions find something original, remember, you want an audience for your story, not just for a certain group.
Let this critique make you find different roads. I thought of being quiet, but I also thought of giving you a little “Watch out”
About your writing abilities, here you did very good. You described the place somehow. I can see a great future in your writing.

[SweetNutmeg]

Thank you for your feedback. I appreciate all comments.

[Ace St. Jean]

Love the flow, especially with the dialogue. Upon reading the first paragraph (great description), I knew this would be good.

[Mel Jayne]

Wow, I really liked this chapter and am looking forward to reading more. I really liked how realistic the characters seemed, how mundane they all are, it really gives you a sense that this could be anyone.

[Shannon]

Nice revision. I can keep track of characters much better and the comparison between the too men is not obvious.

Looking forward to reading more.

[SweetNutmeg]

Thanks for coming back. You've been very helpful and I appreciate it.

[Prototato]

I sense a disturbanc in the force. *cough cough*CHERYL*cough cough*
Quite well-written and admirable; it's late now, but expect me to read and (possibly) review your other chapters. Keep at it! ^^

[SweetNutmeg]

Thanks for reading and reviewing!. :)

[Prototato]

Not a problem; glad to do it ^^

[Shannon]

Nice to see you posting again.

I might suggest rearranging the first paragraph to grab the reader a bit more. Maybe starting with the closing of the first paragraph?

"Everything looked cool and elegant." This kind of sentence feels plain.

For me, there are too many characters, too quickly and I wonder if they all need to arrive the first night (I am prepared to admit, this might only be me and the not visualizing thing)

I loved your use of descriptive language.. The coffee, the warm shirt, that sort of thing. I loved your description of your characters and how you let us figure out how Cassie looks. Her character also comes through in the things she says, comments on and does.

I wonder if parts of the story could be more show, less tell, so that the comparison between Leo and Ezra would be less prominent.. Right now, the story is either going to end with her dumping Erza for a nice guy or staying for a reason I can't yet understand.

Breaking that up and letting other stories come out at the reunion would add much to the vibrant characters you have created!

Look forward to reading more.

[SweetNutmeg]

Thank you for reviewing. I reworked some major parts of this chapter based on your observations and those of AUU. I was really having fun making Ezra a real jerk, but I guess I went over board. I trimmed that aspect back a lot. Your perceptive response was very helpful.

[AUU]

1. I like the tropical setting. The imagery is nice. Although I do wonder if the flora is correct (palms and pines and oak), but that's just me having never been too far south to know if palm trees exist with oak and pine.

2." It was I who talked Ezra into going." This line sounds a bit odd to me. I don't know why.

3. "We were sharing a beach house with other guests..." Are the guests strangers or old friends?

4. "Spanish moss wept from the oak tree shading Mrs. Musgroves house." Love that line!

5."Aloha You All." Such a weird name for a house lol, but nice clue that they're possibly in Hawaii...I think?

6."It's at the end...." The end of what?

7. "The sand shifting under my feel like a live thing." That's a great line, and I instantly knew what it felt like.

8."His gravity brought me down with a bump." My first read through this line confused me. For a moment, it made me think Ezra was the one sitting, and he was pulling down on your POV.

9. "Cassie, you are too lovely..." You took your time with introducing the POV. I think it would be nice to get her name earlier. Names themselves conjure a lot of imagery; make it easier to connect with a character.

10. I do admire how you juxtaposed Cassie's excitement of wanting to take off her shoes when they got to the beach house, to Ezra walking on the sand with his sandals. That's a great touch.

11. When you described Cheryl you threw me for a loop. "Today she had...I recognized her by..." At first it is made to sound as though Cassie hasn't seen these group of people for a while, then I thought, well maybe she still regularly sees a few (it's not unheard of, obviously. Also. Facebook), but when you describe seeing Cheryl, it sounds like Cassie sees her often enough to know that she changes her hair daily. Is it something the girl did in highs school? Sorry if that all is confusing. This is a nitpick.

12. It's interesting that our first heavy characterization of Ezra is one comparing him to Leo.

13. "A Greek restaurant..." With Cassie talking about how much she visited the island when she was a child, does this restaurant have a name?

14. "I always thought she would end up with Leo." Hmmmmm.

15. "...if her mother approved of her choice in husbands." More than one?

16. "I sometimes thought the name Ezra was given had..." 'was given had' is a bit odd. It seems as though

17. "He enjoyed making the meek, the vulnerable, the weak, look bad." Cassie is doing a bit of the work for characterizing Ezra instead of the Ezra himself.

18. "I watched him with detached interest over dinner." A little confused here. Is Cassie recalling the dinner at the Greek place, or is this night number two?

19. I like how you now mentioned what Ezra was doing to make turn of Cassie, but I think it might work better if it's the reader sees it before Cassie starts dissecting his name in the previous paragraph.

20. "Leo seemed unaffected by Ezra's jabs." I'm a little conflicted by this. I can only imagine what he said, and I like using my imagination, but at the same time it doesn't really strengthen Ezra's voice.

21. "Ezra could be kind and thoughtful...Could it have been avoided." I think you are alluding to some bad history between Ezra and Cassie.

22. I like that bit with the cereal. The place obviously means a lot to Cassie.

23. "Sand pipers darted into and away from the gentle waves." This might be a silly question, but why? Did Cassie ever wonder why? If this is a place from her childhood, maybe she knows the reason why sand pipers behave this way? It's just a small detail that could help sell the location.

24. "A fossil shark's tooth." A fossilized shark's tooth? Or maybe just a shark tooth?

25.Honestly...this first interaction between these two characters seem a bit unnatural to me. I don't know if I like it or don't. It's a bit awkward, and maybe that's telling for Leo's nature.

26.""Keep it. To remember," he said."" I'm with Cassie. Not sure if there is a deeper meaning to the shark tooth, or if Leo is just an odd duck.

27. "That was more than Ezra would ever do." The narrative is starting to favor Leo here. I mean. It started favoring him from the moment he was introduced, but it's like Ezra never had a chance! I'm starting to sympathize with him lol

28, What's Mant?

29. "He didn't liike the solitary walk..." Yes. "He didn't like me staying up with the girls." I don't remember him saying or doing anything about that. You did well hinting that Ezra was a little possessive with that bit of dialogue after he finished putting lotion of Cassie, but I don't think it was carried through well enough through the chapter. More dialogue and action from Ezra could help that.

Overall, I'm surprised that the reunion didn't last a bit longer. It's moving at a brisk pace, like your other writing, but it's left me wanting to know more about some of the characters.

I think for the first chapter you wanted to show that Cassie and Ezra were not that good of a match. You had that line in beginning that Cassie had to talk Ezra into going, and then that last line with Cheryl possibly not approving of Ezra. It sounds like the relationship is still a young one. It makes me wonder what Cassie likes about Ezra.

I'll have to continue reading to find out!

[SweetNutmeg]

Thank you so much AUU! You pointed out some really good stuff. I am marking my draft with changes to take care of a lot of the things you mentioned. About the island, it is in South Carolina, which I should make clear. But yes, pines and palms and oaks all together. And fossilized shark's teeth are a dime a dozen on the island I am modeling Tinder Island on.Sharks apparently have a huge number of teeth and shed them frequently, so that's why they are so common.

I really appreciate the small details you pick up on and the broader more general comments.Both are so helpful. You are really helping me improve my writing.

[AUU]

And thank you for asking me to review your work. I always enjoy reading your writing.

BTW. Tinder island? Like the dating app or because the trees?