The Black Cat and the Guinea Pig

This little snippet came from a writing exercise.

***

The lead character finds the love interest in a compromising situation!

 

A collaborative project with a quirky veterinarian leads to something more.

 

It's revealed that a major character is pregnant!

 

 

 

“Hello?” I knocked on the glass more loudly, hoping someone within would hear me. Damn, no receptionist. Fred was languishing apace in his cage. I could buy a new guinea pig if this one died, but how to get matching spots? How do you explain death to a classroom of five year olds?

 

Tired of knocking and waiting, I tried the door to the inner examination rooms. I smelled dog faintly, but mainly that sterile smell you get in hospitals. But I could hear the dogs. Fred cowered deeper into his wood chips.

 

“Hello?” I called again. A shape shot past my feet, a black blur, and it was followed by an out of breath man in a lab coat. He dashed straight at me. I put up Fred’s cage to ward off a collision, but he managed to hook around me into the nearest exam room and slam the door behind him.

 

What on earth?  I heard knocking sounds, combined oddly with cooing. The banging stopped, which made the cooing sound louder. The man emerged with a black cat wrapped in what would be a straight jacket on a human, but probably had some euphemistic term in the veterinarian world. The man was a good looking man now that I saw him standing still rather than running about. His face was flushed from his athletic exertions, but I thought his face would be rosy in any circumstance. He was that kind of blonde. A curly strawberry blonde, in fact. His blue eyes looked like nothing I had seen before in real life, like the depths of an ice cavern in the Antarctic, or the blue of some exotic fish in a coral reef. Our eyes met and then we both looked away. It was a glance that ambushed me with a crackling sexual energy I had not felt in a long, long time.

 

The black cat started purring loudly. I gladly looked down on it, to distract myself from the feelings bubbling to the surface. Transferring the cat to the crook of his left arm, the man offered his hand.

 

“Dr. Givings.”

 

I took his hand hesitantly and felt the jolt of attraction again.

 

“I’m Clara Mindler. I called about the guinea pig?”

 

“Yes, yes, of course. I’m so sorry there was no one to greet you. Our receptionist came down with the flu. Let me put this fellow back in his enclosure and I’ll be right with you. You can go in room four.”

 

I placed Fred’s cage on the examining table and took a seat. There was a detailed medical illustration of  the flea life cycle that I looked away from quickly.

 

In a moment Dr. Givings was back, looking less tousled and harassed.

 

“Let’s see, what have we got here? What are the symptoms?

 

“Well, Fred hasn’t been eating all we give him any more and hasn’t been on the exercise wheel in the last day or so. He seems to be pining, in general.”

 

Dr. Givings gently removed Fred from his cage and placed him on the table, then began palpating him.

 

“Well, Ms. Mindler, I think Fred needs a new name, as he is pregnant.” 

Author's Note

http://www.springhole.net/writing_roleplaying_randomators/plotpunter_romance.htm

This is where I got my writing prompt.

Reviews

[Daniel Thomas Andrew Da..]

Didn't see that one coming. Would make a good entry for 'Short and Twisted' at Celapene Press (they look for short stories with a twist for their anthology). Well written, lively dialogue, action, paced well. Interesting events, funny ending. Good work.

[SweetNutmeg]

Thank you so much for your kind words. I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)

[Anonymizer]

The Three directions and the story just add up but not after you have read it again. A really well written piece, i am new into writing but i certainly feel the way you have kept a check on the reader's attention

[SweetNutmeg]

Thank you for reading and commenting. You may be new to writing, but your comments can be very valuable to me and to others. I appreciate the time you took to respond. :)

[ROBIN-RAMBLES-ON]

Very nicely penned. I enjoyed how the words scratch out at you,

[SweetNutmeg]

I am so sorry I missed this review you wrote so long ago. I don't know how that happened. Please accept my belated thanks for reading and commenting. :)

[ROBIN-RAMBLES-ON]

That's alright have a nice day

[emmajoy]

Dashed through it, came to the finish.. looked for more, then, laughed, reallsing that was it. Started to think visuals in my mind, then, reread.... now smiling

Your words flow naturally as if speaking face to face - there are a few extra words but that's more natural than static formality. Tis a mix of fantasy, wit and the over=used word of the day - surrealism "

Thanks for sharing. Will read your longer posts another time. (Also have some prose here and there)

[SweetNutmeg]

I don't know how I missed this. Thank you for reading and reviewing my little piece of fluff. I'm glad you enjoyed reading it. I had a lot of fun writing it.

[Samuel Dickens]

Ha! That's a great ending. You paint some vivid images in describing the man's eyes--good imagination! Also, you do well in portraying the exciting, electric vibes set off by contact with certain people. A very good and entertaining little write.

[SweetNutmeg]

Thank you for your praise. I'm glad you enjoyed my little piece.

[AUU]

So I'm guessing the top three bolded lines are your direction?

I have to say reading the directions again after I finished reading the story made me laugh.

My only criticism would be the cat seemed oddly silent. Maybe it's because this cat is simply the silent type, which is fine, but I would expect some growling or moaning of sorts.

But what a cliffhanger that is! I'm inclined to rate this lower (joke) because we never find out who impregnated Fred!

[ColinKp]

Great story, really liked the ending. Will there be a sequel??

[SweetNutmeg]

No, that's all there is! Thank you for your review. :)

[QuinTEssence]

A really sweet and fun read. I especially like the cat in the straight jacket. Too funny.

[SweetNutmeg]

Thanks, QuinTEssence. I'm glad you liked it. I read about an old school vet who was able to subdue even the most wild outdoor cats with a bed sheet. Wrap them up tight with the appropriate part sticking out, viola, order out of chaos. That always tickled me.

[Woody]

fun little piece. just love the last sentence. and you write beautifully.

[SweetNutmeg]

Thanks Woody! I'm surprised how many people like this silly little piece I did from a random writing prompt. I'm glad you enjoyed it. I had a lot of fun writing it.

[Taylor]

This is a cute piece. I enjoyed reading it. Not sure that the bit about the strong sexual attraction fits in but that may just be me.

[SweetNutmeg]

Thanks for reading and commenting! The strong sexual attraction was there because I found the writing prompt on a romance writer's site. I felt obliged to throw some cheesy romance in there.

[Salem Gray]

Cute story! A fun little read! I definitely see your greater potential in even this little flash piece. You have a very casual yet poetic grace to your words. Great job!

[SweetNutmeg]

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it. It was a ton of fun writing it.