I wish....

When I first layed my eyes upon you, it was as if my heart beat for the first time or as if I was drawing my first breath. That day was the beginning of my life. Ever since that day, I’ve been living what some may call a fairytale or a fantasy cause to me, I felt like a queen waking to see you my king. I had always thought nothing could ever bring down from the high place that seemed to let me forgotten the life I had left below. But sadly nothing lasts forever. As the saying goes “ what goes up, must come down “. Days, months and years past as I still living my dream with you but slowing my dream was crashing around me but I was too into you to notice. When I did, it was too late. I woke up from my dream to see that you were no longer in my arms or within their reach. I began to remember the life that I thought I had forgotten before I met you, the feelings of before came rushing back to me. I always thought that I was important to you as you were to me but as you got further and further away from me, I began to feel like I was a convenience to you. Whenever you needed or wanted me I would there but when the time for me to want and need you, you never show. I then realized I’ve never cried so many tears as once, it all came at me all at once with no time to breathe. I cried for your time, your warmth, your security and you love. I want to break away from this hold on me but I’m afraid to be without you and the more I hold on to you, the more I’m suffocating. Even though I can’t breathe, I still hold on to you with all my might with tear running down my cheeks. With the realization that I can’t keep killing myself for you, I slowly try to let you as I still crying seeing your back. I wish I could turn back time, not to change the past but to pause the time I first layed eyes on you.