the white sheet

That was a misty winter night
We of course lit the fire together
Just little fire and
more and more unjust smoke.
Not sure that we tried to
flame it up
for once we threw our firewood
in the greater sea.
What remained was then
a combination of mist and smoke.
Little white and little grey.
But tell me one thing,
was that really a milky white sheet,
covering us in those moments?

,..

Reviews

[Frozen Eyes]

You never fail to surprise me. Painting a picture with your words. Loved the use of "combination of mist and smoke..." Indeed very sensuos.. Getting inspired to continue the moment.. May I ??

[Swaroop Manikandan]

You should . . . :-)

[Claire in VA]

This is very sensual.
Love it.
Claire

[Swaroop Manikandan]

Great Claire you loved it... Cheers...

[Haylee Nikkole]

Very beautiful writing! I liked reading this.

[Swaroop Manikandan]

It is indeed great to have you here and reading the write... Thank you...

[escherflight]

Is the fire a metaphor for passion? This works at face value and as a metaphor? Were both intended? I like your use of just and unjust in this.

[Swaroop Manikandan]

Dear Escher... Nothing was intended :-) it just happened... But then, yes, both your perspectives are very near to the reality from which it happened... Thanks for the review...

[Matching Socks]

Your poems are really good there's a hint that there's something sensual but you don't out right say it which makes me wonder what really happened?
Enjoyed this one. Well done

[Swaroop Manikandan]

wow Anče that you nailed me down... wish that you continue to wonder what really happened :-)

[Matching Socks]

:-)
Ok, I will wonder.

[Swaroop Manikandan]

:-) and write another poem...

[Namrata]

Unjust smoke, love that part and must I tell you, I envy your company that inspires you to write all these.

[Swaroop Manikandan]

aww! :-) come on... wish you the best to have a greater company... experience and write more...

[Namrata]

Thank you for the wishes :D

[Swaroop Manikandan]

will wait for the update as well :-)

[priya]

There is so much charm, allure and beauty in your poem. very well written. :)
you have got great imagination. keep it up.

[Swaroop Manikandan]

that was so warm... :-)

[priya]

as i said earlier i really enjoyyour writing style. :)

[Ayushi]

Nice line
"Just little fire and
more and more unjust smoke."
Quite interesting and romantic write.
Well done :)

[Swaroop Manikandan]

thanks Ayushi that you liked the write...