Vermillion (The color of my knees)

Gracefully
I watched you fall into bed sheets.
The white eternity.
Fixed my clumsy smile
my smudged red lips
"For liberty."
That's what you said

Whisper,
"Dirty girl"
But I cleaned that half moon grime
Underneath my nails
Not even with the edge of my teeth
Yet, you whisper,
"Filthy child"

Drinking,
When I thought you wanted me sober
Glow, you wanted me to glow
Set my skin on fire
In those places
Like the back of my knees
That I scrubbed red raw

Snapshot
I gave to my lover
I always look cleaner in black and white.
Father figure
Never did I want you to be that
But I brushed my knotted hair
And you named me your baby
Your little disaster.

Reviews

[cilla]

I truly, truly love your work in large part because you have a natural word sense � the ability to find the precise combination of syllables and sounds that give your poems a haunting magic.

Your words here are sharp and edgy and unrepentant. A woman on her knees becomes not prayerful but a denigration that repeats itself like an condemning film loop.

This is excellent work.

[Faceless Love]

Your talent is amazing. I look forward to reading your works. Keep writing.

[Angel's Lady]

The power of your fingers upon the keys must make them feel electrified to you. (How often do you shock yourself?) There is a lot inside of you to be said - never stop writing!

[An owl on the moon]

You have such a brilliant way of expressing life and love and pain, painting it in emotive colors that grip and stain. Beautifully moving... sadly tragic... amazing...

[Jibey]

Powerful and sad... the humiliation of it all, the meek submission to the master, the willing heart somehow degraded... I agree with Cilla that this has a haunting quality... somehow 'magic' is too pleasing

[PianoandPage]

*smile*

mm. nice little erotic portrait. i really love the way you describe how you interact with your lover. i agree that you write with natural sense, enjoyed how you played with word placement so that it kept it fresh and a little off kilter. love is dysfunctional and kinky.... full of doubt and vulnerability. you show all these qualities and more. kudos.

[LJW]

Writing like this is what I was hoping to find here in The Writers Cafe.

Unapologetic
Edgey
Intelligent
Unique

[DavidRyan]

Beautiful, dirty, dark, hopeful, loving, everything. That is what this poem embodies for me. Great work, dear.

[Flo_writer]

Intense, I'm not sure which stanza I prefer more, but I'm leaning towards "Snapshot" and "Whisper." I think "Fireblossom" said it best here..."It was a great ride". Each was gripping and I wonder since she didn't bite her nail's with her teeth, why was she a filthy child? I do said I have a question for each of them, but the answer might subtract from it's poetry.

[fireblossom]

This poem got under my skin. It took me to diverse worlds. It was a great ride.