An impure soul

Its the story of a girl who become the prey to someone's hunger...

“Tears were rolling down my eyes… But I didn’t stop writing… I wanted the world to know my story after I end this body…. Yes, I want this body to end… The dam of tolerance has broken now… I cannot endure the pain anymore…” I checked my letter again…
I am 19 now but I can still feel the pain I am getting since I was of 9. I too had a loving and affectionate childhood like any other child. Everything was beautiful and lovely before I met him. The dark brown eyes were glaring me as if the wolf was looking at its prey. I got scared and didn’t dare to look at his eyes again. He was a friend of my dad. A very good friend indeed. His wife was as beautiful as an angel. She used to love and care for me as much as a mother would do for her child. But those eyes continued to stare at me every time we came across.
One day my parents had to go out of the town for some work and they were worried for me to stay alone the whole day as I was just a child of 9 years and had never stayed alone at home. So, they decided to inform his friend to take care of me in case I needed something. I was instructed not to open the door except for the uncle and aunt.
It was 12.30 pm and I heard a knock at the door. I asked who it was and in return I heard his name. I opened the door as directed by my parents and he came in with my lunch. I kept the lunch on the table, thanked him and asked him to sit. I went to the kitchen to bring him a glass of water as a sort of courtesy and when I returned I was shocked to find the door locked and found him shirtless. I got scared and the glass fell from my hand. Before I could figure out what was happening he grabbed my hand and pushed me on the bed. I was quivering and was totally helpless. All I knew was that the pain was horrible and I couldn’t even shout as he had closed my mouth tightly with his hands. I wailed out with pain and all I wanted was for it to stop. After an hour of my struggle, it finally stopped. His smile with malicious glee made me hate my own body. He frightened me not to utter a word about this to anyone. I was scared. Then he left the house and I cried the whole day under the shower hurting my own body to get rid of that impurity. Yes, that day my soul got impure. That day was an end to my fairy tale and the devil had already started writing my story.
At evening my parents arrived and I had to pretend as if everything was normal. I wanted to narrate the whole thing but I was too scared to utter a word about that.
The same thing continued every time my parents went out leaving me alone at home. I started hating myself more and more. One day I decided to say everything to my mom and put an end to all my miseries. But before I could say anything my mom told me something which made me feel that it’s better to keep quiet. She told that the aunt has heard of an affair the uncle was having with one of his college mates and she attempted to suicide. It made me think that I should better keep quiet else I would ruin her life. How could I do that to the one who always loved and cared for me as a mom would do for her child. So, I kept the whole thing within me.
Today after 10 years also the same thing is continuing. Now we don’t reside there anymore and I heard that they have got divorced too. But every time he comes to our house, he would take me out for a ride and in the name of ride he would take me to his friend’s house in an isolated area and continue to quench his thirst from my body. Every time he pushed, I felt like dying out of pain but could do nothing but cry.
Yesterday I heard my parents talking over phone that he is coming today again. Again, to ruin my happiness. But it’s enough now. I have decided for all this to end today but I want the whole world to know my story. So, I continued to write. As I continued my letter, I wrote everything that I was going to do today.
Like every time, today’s evening also he took me to his friend’s house who handover him the door key and went away. I saw the same hunger in his eyes today. He pushed me on bed and came closer to me. My hands got weakened and body seemed to get paralysed but I made my grip tightened and as soon as he came closer to me I pushed the dagger in my hand right into him. He tried to attack me again and held my hands tightly but I tried to save myself. Soon he started crying out of pain and released my hand to support himself. Several thoughts were running in my mind thinking of the consequences of my actions on my family. But this time I chose myself over everything. I wanted to free myself, to free my soul who had become his sex slave for the last 10 years. I pulled the dragger from his body and pushed again and again. Helplessly he requested me to save him but this time I decided to shut those eyes forever. After some time of attacking him with the dagger, he lied on the floor being motionless as if he was died. I found blood all over my body and couldn’t understand if it was right or wrong. All I knew was that I had killed several of me today. I killed the pain, the tears, the fear everything and now my body was pure and sacred. I had cleaned my soul with his blood today. I was blank but soon I gathered my senses and emailed my letter to the top journalist of Delhi. I knew that I would be caught but I had to choose this path to rescue my soul from the capture of that beast.
I remembered the last lines of my letter…
“Tears were rolling down my eyes. But I didn’t stop writing. I cannot bear the pain anymore. The dam of tolerance had broken now. I wanted the world to know my story after I end this body. Yes, I want this body to end. By this body I meant of that beast who had ruined 10 years of my life, destroyed my whole childhood and made me hate my own soul. I can no more sacrifice my body, my soul, my dignity. I know that I was his prey and I was totally helpless. But the time has changed now. Now I don’t even have to be worried about the aunt as they are already divorced. So, I have decided to give justice to my soul. Yes, it’s true that I can’t shut all those eyes who find girls like me as their prey but I decided to close these eyes forever.”
I had already bought some essential requirements in my bag. I locked the door and left my phone there and went out. It was dark and windy but I had to make my way. I was sure for my letter to speak. After all, a voice without a face is stronger than a voice with one.
-Swagatika Behera

© 2018 Swagatika Behera

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It's really really strong voice....and got the potential of attracting readers...girl you nailed to put all the suspense and disclose it at the end...and yess a voice without a face indeed is stonger!!
Amazing read...keep and nurture this quality in you😊