Must be...

Not sure if this is about me or someone else I know. Probably a bit of both!

In silence her eyes scream to the ceiling

as if God were in the plaster

waiting for her to fall on knees

to bestow the needy gift...

there must be more than this?

there must be more than...

shifting dust from orange polaroids

the comfort of loved ones

the family oracle

who assures

everything will be okay

there are sighs

at the tales sculptured

too many to count

and the mountain of sand required

to bury her bleak head

jaded wallpaper knows the truth

how long since she cared

for material things

there are no gods

found hiding in plaster

no roads to celestial skies

beyond her earthy terracotta tiles

songs will never be the same

now the record player has died

and where are the finders of freedom

with flowers in their hair?

clocks tick like warning drums

she plots to smother them all

implores with tiny whispers

there must...

there is...

must be...

...something more

Image: http://rustygrass33.deviantart.com/art/piece-of-my-heart-now-baby-245188119

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

there must be more than this...like there are little gods hiding in the every day, in the plaster, in the ceiling, in those Polaroids....

wow i relate...and coincidentally was just looking through a bunch of old photos from our vacations in vermont in the fifties...the color slides with the little viewer, and just a few minutes ago was thumbing through several old polaroids and several of them with that orange tint, they used to have.

and as i was doing that, i was listening to some old vinyl...just got a new turntable yesterday...

in all of those things...maybe no gods, but there is poetry....no doubt, evidenced by this write into the consciousness and memory of the poet...the one who always asks the question...what is there between the lines, behind the wallpaper, up in the attic of the mind in that box...

nicely done...really like your phrasing.

j.

[Suzy Hazelwood]

Thank you for reading this Jacob, and what a strange coincidence you were looking at old polaroids and listening to records. I find things happen like that a lot... love those moments!!

Well, I hope there are no gods... can do without those, especially more than one!

Thank you so much for such a lovely comment, very kind of you indeed! :o)

[Johari]

I really like this from the ideas to the way it is presented.

Well controlled pace and clever metaphors. I like poems like this where you have to dig a little bit, where you can ruminate over this or that phrase for a while, really letting its meaning soak in. But I especially like poems that are sturdy enough to stand up to further reading and rereading and continue to deliver. This is such a poem.

[Kelly Scheppers]

You have a niche for blowing the mind of your reader. Your articulation and verses stagger my mind...and the photo reminded me of Janis Joplin.

"there are no gods
found hiding in plaster
no roads to celestial skies
beyond her earthy terracotta tiles"

...my, my...I love this!

[andrew mitchell]

Doesn't the mundane things of life just to survive, in a twist rob us of time to do things we would rather enjoy and do. It is so frustrating. I would love to give up work and the shifts if I could but alas I'm in no position to do so. A lovely piece Suzi I felt all the emotions and mine!

[Blossom]

I see that Suzy’s been musing again! :-)
First of all, please let me copy the words of a dear someone I know: "Not sure if this is about me or someone else I know. Probably a bit of both!":-)

Your poem and Justa’s Being Human, which I read earlier today, evoked similar emotions in me. The parts about looking at the ceiling and the end of both left me smiling wryly. What is it with us looking at the ceiling when helpless? How perfectly it is programmed in us to find solutions/ and or God there.
Were it not for Roland’s ballad, which I read between Justa’s and yours and which made me giggle, I’d be wiping a tear or two at lines like these:

songs will never be the same
now the record player has died
and where are the finders of freedom
with flowers in their hair?

And I recall that some weeks back, when I felt anxious, clock ticks did indeed sound like warning drums.
A perfect description!
P.S. Hope there's 'something more' for us xxx

[Suzy Hazelwood]

Thank you so much Blossom!! :o) I don't know what is about ceilings either...haha!! And why we subconsciously feel God or help of any spiritual kind is always upwards or above. And there is no such thing as up anyway, only outward....haha....odd humans we are!! :oD

I was thinking and personally feeling "oh is there no more to life than these dull little things" but perhaps it's more our perception of 'little things' and what is dull and is not as we think. Some people seem to get immense joy just for a sunny day, and we may feel that's a little over the top for such a small and often recurring event, but it's how they see things. Perception is everything, when it comes to contentment! And perhaps this woman here is lacking in that, and maybe myself included.

Thanks so much for the thoughtful comment Blossom, so good to be in touch with you again! xxx

[alifeacoustic]

I must admit that I lingered a long time on the lines "songs will never be the same now the record player has died>" It took me back to listening to a new album being an event in itself, which starts with the visit to the store and grows in anticipation, until you get that first listen, while devouring the artwork and lyrics of the cover and inner sleeve. Now you just click and a digitally sanitized copy is delivered in a clarity that loses quality by being so disinfected.
We so need those freedom fighters back, now more than ever. If only we could press rewind.
Beautifully written. I hope there is more of this to come :)

[Suzy Hazelwood]

Oh yes, the dear old record player! Mine literally has died. I still have my brothers old stacking stereo, and weirdly it still looks lovely! But it really needs to go now, it's aged inside not on the outside. I cleaned the inside out last year - oooh the dust, it was like a hamster cage! :oD A few years ago my brother came round my flat and I promised I'd dig the old records out and we'd have a nostalgic laugh going through them. But just before he arrived I discovered the rubber had perished on the belt that drives the turntable - that made me feel so old!!

I've stupidly hung onto to it for purely emotional reasons of all those memories of our young years, parties we had where it did a great job blasting out our favourite hits. I'm sure I will be in floods of tears when it gets dragged out of the house to it's dumping ground. How silly that is though, it's just a lump of plastic and wires!

Those albums were totally an advent. I loved the art and lyrics too!! I really miss that. ^_^ I like the convenience of PC music tracks but, they are just a sound not a product to be thrilled by or treasure. I miss guessing what's under the wrapping paper when it comes to gifts in music. And you're right it is soooo digitally sanitized.

Thank you! Yes, there are lots more writings in my files. I never totally stop writing, I just find it hard to find time to post and also get round to read as well. If only I could do this in my sleep, I'd achieve so much more!! :oD

[alifeacoustic]

Well, I kind of modernised, but I still have a turntable, now it plugs into my laptop though and I can convert them to cd or downloads now. It kind of takes the fun out of it though.
The good news is vinyl is getting massively popular again with kids especially, but the bad news is that an album now costs £25.00, that is over twice the price of the same cd....crazy. :)

[Suzy Hazelwood]

I have thought about having something similar, but wasn't sure if it was worth spending the money. I think I'll enjoy the memories, and of course never forget the little scratchy sounds just before the music begins - nothing quite like that!! :oD

I have noticed the 12"records back in stock in HMV, although I hardly ever visit a record shop now - that's the other sad thing, that was so exciting. £25!!!! Hell, that's an insane price!!! I've yet to meet a young person who's interested in them though - I guess they must be out there. There's also a fashion in owning a 60's/70's retro typewriter too. I've even found some young people saying it's the best way to write...mm. :o/ I love the clickety clack of the keys, does create the illusion you're producing something worthwhile (probably illusion) but the young one's are welcome to have fun with the Tippex and all those rewrites instead of spell check and copy and paste! ;o) Perhaps the best solution would be a steampunk PC keyboard made from a vintage typewriter - best of both worlds - and very Doctor Who!

[alifeacoustic]

Ha, yes indeed. I only know this because my nephew got vinyl for Christmas and I was shocked at the price. He went for the old style separates that you can build and stack as you add to it and is delighted with his olde worlde sound :)

[Suzy Hazelwood]

You want to buy him one of those little wire stands to slot your record collection into - remember those? :oD I heard recently that even tape cassettes were making a comeback - really don't get that. I know they were nice and compact and you could play music on your WalkMan (if you could afford one!) but I can't count the amount of music I lost in those tapes where the static built up and the delicate tape went into a tight ball and almost ruined the cassette player too. The young one's are welcome to the stress - if they want it!!! :o/ It's amazing how popular cassettes are. I can guarantee likes and reblogs on Tumblr if I post an image or a gif of a retro cassette tape - haha...what going on there!!! :oD

[alifeacoustic]

I remember tem, and I also remember having to have a pencil nearby at all times to rewind the hewed tape back onto the spool. As you say, they are welcome to that little piece of retro hell :)

[Roland Petrov]

Truth is what it is, but unless we're stuck in a rut, our perception of it changes as we age. Sometimes we may feel like we're losing something, but in my case I feel like I've gained a lot more than I've lost. Among other things, I get to read your poetry! The record player has died, along with gods, devils, and other illusions, and now is the time to enjoy the awe of what actually exists.

[Suzy Hazelwood]

I like the sound of you gaining a lot more than you've lost, perhaps too many people when they age don't see what they've gained.

I feel I am stuck in rut sometimes, but I guess it wouldn't take much to lift me out of it. I've only got myself to deal with, lots of people have others around to fight their stuck in the mud ways, and that must be dire!

I feel a sense of loss and gain. In a lot of ways I like who am today, wouldn't want to go back to my younger self. But I don't feel I've gained a great deal with age other than seeing things more clearly. Maybe that's what matters most, and all the people you lose along the way and the material things you never acquire are not so important after all.

Ah yes, I should try and lean more in that direction. I think all this writing about life has caused me to become too melancholy. Damn the word, I can't even spell it without messing it up! :oD

[Roland Petrov]

Seeing things more clearly and increasing your body of artistic work.....Is there more?