The End of November

The End of November

A Poem by Vishuddha
"

An exercise in the expression of depression, in any season, without any reason.

"
The End of November

I have become fascinated by my own,
Anatomically accurate inefficiency and boredom,
My ability to write inarticulate poetry,
To paint hieroglyphics in excruciating colors,
And, to believe in things unproven by science.

Fire has pretty much devastated earth,
The end of the Age of Pisces is upon us,
And, materialism has been conquered,
Matter has been transformed,
Particles outlived and overthrown,
Force fields overgrown.
Now, there is nothing left to do.
I've gone about as far as I can,
But, I still have to stay up,
At least, until the fireworks begin.

So, what are you going to do,
Between now and then?
Let's face it, fellow poets,
Words are a pretty poor substitute for life.
At least with a martini, you can dance.

The End of December

There is a tornado warning in the air.
A strong wind has come up from the south,
Although I don't know why it bothered,
Because all the leaves have already blown away.
Uranus is exactly square to Pluto,
And, there is bad ju-ju in the stars.
It almost feels as though some foolish person,
Forgot to seek permission from Chango,
Before cutting down a tree.
But, who would do such a foolish thing?

I am beginning to have serious doubts about myself.
I am questioning my beliefs and my choices.
And then, I wonder if it is possible for me to be anything else,
Anything other than what I am?
The world pressures me, impresses me,
Stresses and streches me,
Distorts me and, distresses me,
But, I don't seem to change.

I no longer believe anyone.

I have forgotten how to sleep,
And so, I can no longer escape into dreams.
I am pretty sure my lover has gone insane,
And, he knows all of my secrets.

Sooner or later we will all be sacrificial victims,
To the gods of struggle,
Of destruction, of betrayal,
Distrust and dust,
Of our own ideas of romance or beauty.
Darkness can be very deep,
A long, downhill slope,
Into the arms of a serial killer.
Nobody is getting out of this alive.

The End of January

Let me have my illusions.
I don't have anything else.
I am a romantic,
And, I would be nothing else.

I am dressed up like a candy apple,
Like a bubble wizard,
Like a gazelle,
With a cute, pink smile,
And, everybody loves me.

I am dressed up like a mermaid.
Not a Coney Island Mermaid-Parade mermaid,
A real mermaid, with scales on my eyelids,
With seaweed under my fingernails,
With starfish in my hair, webbed fingers,
Grinding teeth,
And, a trident in my hand.
I know the mysteries of the deep,
Like the Venetian Carnival Queen,
Who mimicks, "Shush. I won't tell a soul.
You just wait and see.
All the mysteries of the deep,
Are safe, as safe can be, with me."

I am dressed up like a Goat-Fish,
Like Aquarius, no longer tired,
Like the Fertility of Rain,
Bleeding out of the winter sky,
Before the world is ready.
My seeds are sprouting everywhere,
But, none of them are showing yet.

All that matters now,
Is what has already been set in motion.
You know, if you start a vibration,
You have to pay attention because,
You might set off some butterfly,
In Hong Kong.

And, nobody knows what will set off a wandlung,
That incomprehensible event that changes everything,
Ushers in an ice age, ends the reign of the dinosaurs,
Starts the human brain.
I wouldn't want to set off something like that.
I am just living my life,
Trying to avoid the waves of advancing history,
That are crashing into society.
The costumes are not helping.

The End of February

The afternoon is cold, and the moon is on the rise,
As transparent as my fingers and as empty as my eyes.
I am so far away the wind can no longer hear my words,
My breath is barely separate from the shadows of the birds.

I am self-contained.
I am inside of myself,
Inside of my shell,
Inside of this gloom in this room.

It is Tuesday afternoon,
And, I am pretty sure I will be alright,
If I can just hang on,
Until the dogwood starts to bloom.

Oh, but what if she does not bloom?
What if she decides to be like other dogs,
To bark instead of blossom?
What if she becomes a snake?
A grasshopper?
A possum?
What if she decides to never-more,
Be host to the beautiful, four heart flowers?
Then, never, would ever, this room contain another bloom,
And, my shell would lose all of its protective powers.

I am a creature, tied to the future.
I survive by looking ahead.
Tomorrow is always yet to come,
And, yesterday is long-gone, dead.
Sometimes hope is around the corner,
Somewhere up the staircase,
Somewhere under the bed,
Somewhere over my head.
But, sometimes the dogwood lets it go,
And, it falls to the ground instead.

The End of March

Holi is over.
I have let my hair,
Go loose in the wind.
Now, it is a tangled mess,
And, a good expression of myself,
With no idea of where it wants to go.

The End of April

Wash me rains.
I run to you.
Give me a blessing,
A kiss or two.
I close my eyes,
I let you run.
These days are gray.
I seek the sun.
I am undone.
I am covered in clouds.

The End of May

Confetti in the air.
But, nothing has really changed.

The End of June

The wild beach leaves me stranded,
With memories of sandbars and rising tides,
Coquinas, escaping, faster than my hands can dig.
How delightful it would be to share my summer dreams.
But, no one, it seems ....

The End of July

It is to fry.
It is time to eat blueberry, pie-in-the-sky.
It is time to wonder why,
I even try.

The End of August

Oh, robust, genuine, hearty laughter.
Is that what I'm really after?

The End of September

Remember September?
Or, just forget the whole thing?

The End of October

Dibble, dabble,
Bibble, babble,
Come on kids,
Let's play some scrabble.
Clean the chair and, brush my hair,
And, make believe I really care.
Get in the car and go somewhere.
Is it better here, or over there?

The End of November

Bartender! Oh, bartender.
I'm not here to make any trouble.
All I want is a vodka martini,
And, this time, make mine, a double!

[November 2014]

© 2015 Vishuddha


Author's Note

Vishuddha
I would appreciate any thoughts you have regarding the progression of this piece. I was going for depression, fighting depression, being overcome, overwhelmed, giving in, giving up, no longer caring. I'm not going anywhere near the end of everything forever. Bad vibes. This was just a day and a thought of what it would be like if it just went on and on.

My Review

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Reviews

I am really sorry to hear that you were going through such a hard time ma'am. I really hope you are feeling okay now. If not, I sure hope you feel better soon and I know it's not much if I say that I am here for you, but I will still say it.

Your poem has always inspired and touched me. I really respect your way with words. This poem is no exception. The words drip with emotion. Some stanzas paint a picture while the other emphasize the emotions.
Beautiful and strong expression.

Thank you for the read request and I am sorry for the late response.

-moonlight :)


P.S. I really like how you mentioned the Indian festival of colors called Holi in your poem. I wasn't expecting it and it was certainly a pleasant surprise. :)

Posted 7 Years Ago


Vishuddha

7 Years Ago

Oh, please don't be sorry. This was a writing exercise caused by boredom one November afternoon. A w.. read more
Moonlight

7 Years Ago

It was great to read your composition. Certainly, forcing boredom upon oneself to write about it is .. read more
Such a journey again, Lily. I'm just fond of your poetry. It's so rich of ideas, feelings, even philosophy. Yes, the depression is showing to the end. The long and elaborating first months are showing already signs of darker times that are coming. To the end, the sentences, the stanzas become shorter and shorter, full of dark thoughts, not caring anymore. It all ends with a vodka martini, refuge in a drink. Well, you certainly have chosen the right drink. Martini and vodka are two favourite drinks of mine. But I get the meaning of it in this poem. You're a delight to read, Lily. :) Rudi

Posted 9 Years Ago


Vishuddha

9 Years Ago

I keep a bottle of Russian Vodka in the freezer at all times, just in case. The best days are the on.. read more
remember, remember, the end of November!
I think the progression worked well, really enjoyed the poem.

Posted 9 Years Ago


marcus

9 Years Ago

no s**t! Basically as soon as the Halloween decorations come down in the stores, the Christmas decor.. read more
Vishuddha

9 Years Ago

I opted out years ago. I'm not a good materialist. I write poetry instead.
marcus

9 Years Ago

Ah, you must be one of the delusional few, who see's through, the lies.
Wow, what a practice here. Just thinking about why you called it the end of November?
Other than that---well thought out in the practice of it.
:)

Posted 9 Years Ago


Vishuddha

9 Years Ago

I wrote it on the last day of November and calling it the End just seemed like the right thing to do.. read more
Josie E. Cook M. A.

9 Years Ago

It sounds like it would be...thanks for the clarification! :)
That was very well written poem actually amazing. i liked the end of December the most. It held a sound of depression within it, but it was written well :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


Vishuddha

9 Years Ago

It was originally written to stand on its own and I think you are right. It does better than some. I.. read more
You have covered the entire calender with poetry, some of it wild and some of it full of images. I think I like the end of June best. You kind of shhorted September...

Posted 9 Years Ago


Vishuddha

9 Years Ago

That's true. "An exercise in the expression of depression, in any season, without any reason" is, of.. read more
Marie

9 Years Ago

I tend not to write at all when I'm depressed, and that makes me even more depressed...
Vishuddha

9 Years Ago

Think beautiful thoughts ... (and take some vitamin B or GABA [a terrific amino acid])

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Added on February 3, 2015
Last Updated on May 25, 2015

Author

Vishuddha
Vishuddha

A Looking Glass Land, FL



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