Kabootar...

Woh bi din the jab mein aasmaan koh chu raha tha

aaj shikaari hume kya pakda, pinjre mein kya daala

Koh gaye hum apne aazadi...

Naraaz ye dil rothe kya baita aur dekha tumko

dusri pinjre mein, kitne khoobsurat hai meri kabootar..

Hume pyaar joh hua azaadi kone pe

Nazraana kya milgaya tera zulfoon ka..

ab yehi sukoon deraha hai bina azaadi ka,

lagta hai ishq hogaya tumse meri kabootar...

aaj udne ka mouka kya mila, hum toh udgaye

par mein kogaya raasta tujhe dundte hue..

Aaj pyaar na hui is azaadi mein dil toh tu cheen liya

par kaha chale hum kahi raasta na nikla

mann tasalli hogaya..lagta hai tumse pyaar hogaya

par raasta koh gaya...

Reviews

[heartspeaks]

Really nice imagination. Well done surya. keep writing
Just a few improvisations coz u r writing in hindi..

Woh BHI din THEY jab mein aasmaan koh chu raha tha
aaj shikaari NE hume kya pakda, pinjre mein kya daala
KHO gaye hum apne aazadi...

Naraaz ye dil ROTEY kya BAITHA ,
PHIR dekha tumko DUSRE pinjre mein,
KITNI khoobsurat hai WO kabootar..

Hume pyaar BHI hua TOH azaadi KHONE PAR
Nazraana milgaya tera zulfoon ka..
KYA KEHNA

ab YAHI sukoon DE RAHA hai BINA azaadi KE,
lagta hai ishq hogaya tumse meri kabootar...

aaj udne ka mouka kya mila, hum toh udgaye
par mein KHOGAYA raasta tujhe DHOONDTE DHOONDTE..

Aaj pyaar na MILA is azaadi mein
dil toh TUNE cheen liya
par kaha JAYIEN hum
kahi raasta na MILA
mann KO tasalli hogaya.
lagta hai tumse pyaar hogaya
par DIL KA raasta KHO gaya...

i really hope you don't mind. just giving a suggestion. It is so so so totally upto you. greetings.
Thanks for sharing

[Surya]

Thanks alot actually am struggling a lot with hindi as i cant speak it better...Do visit again and help me anytime possible....I will definitely feel glad for your warm review my frnd..:)

[heartspeaks]

If you cant speak hindi then what you have written is to be applauded . for immense courage to write in another language and to boldly post it.. KUDOS... yeah i will surely help . Glad

[Surya]

Haha, anything to improve my frnd...:)

[Farhan Shaikh]

People improve every minute and that's how you are improving in Hindi / urdu writing..another lovely piece

[Surya]

Thank you so much Farhan...:)

[Hope]

A serene poem Surya:)
Keep writing friend!
You improve my understanding of Hindi:)

[Surya]

Haha, my pleasure then..Thank you Neetha for your kind visit and words...:)

[Hope]

My pleasure:)

[Wajiha Nayeem]

this is an amazing write.....so emotional and beautiful....keep writing!!!

[Surya]

Thank you Wajihaa....:)

[Wajiha Nayeem]

pleasure is all mine..

[Mr.Writer]

Such a dreamy, sensational poem Surya...
"Woh bi din the jab mein aasmaan koh chu raha tha"
When you touched the sky...
Amazing choice of words...
Keep it up :)

[Surya]

Thank you so much Shaan...:)

[Najam Us Saher]

It indirectly relates with peoples too...when you find something you lose something...I really liked the way you used a pigeon as a symbol...

[Surya]

Not every scene the same but sometimes yeah...Thank you Saher for your kind visit..:
)

[Najam Us Saher]

You're welcome.

[Priyanshi]

Wow ! it's so so so good...
"aaj udne ka mouka kya mila, hum toh udgaye
par mein kogaya raasta tujhe dundte hue..".....loved these lines so so so much...infact the whole poem is the best...
....ek din raasta bhi milega, Surya.
Keep it up, friend

[Surya]

Hahaha...let's see...Thank you so so much Priyanshi...:)

[Priyanshi]

My pleasure.