Doob Gaya...

Again a try...

Pata nahi tha ki Doobne me mazaa hai,

Kabhi rukha nahi tha, kabi dukhi nahi tha,

Par aaj mousam kya badle saath saath

tera mann badalgaya...

Saath me hum bi badal gaye..

Ab lag raha hai Doobne me alag hi mazaa hai,

Dil toh pattar hai paani mein dub gaya,

ab toh andera me shayari ban rahi hai

Sirf roshni ki kami hai aur tera pyaar...

Baaki toh wahi hai andera hi andera

khamoshiyan hi kamoshiyan..

Par doobne ke mazaa alag hi hai

Na kushi na pyaar....

Sirf aankon me tum, dil me gum..

Reviews

[Mr.Writer]

You're getting better and better at it Surya!
Another great piece of poetry!
These lines really touched me...
"Dil toh pattar hai paani mein dub gaya,"
The way you say how the heart falls is so emotional...
Keep it up :)

[Surya]

Thank you Shaan..It means to me...:)

[Manasa.L]

OMG have you become Devdas or what? did any Paru left you breaking your heart?
Just kidding, loved the poem. Good writing.

[Surya]

Haha..kind of...
Well Thank you for this beautiful review...It means to me...Have a good day Manasa..:)

[Manasa.L]

Thank you have a good day too.

[Hope]

Another good try..
Loved your poem....:)

[Surya]

Seems to be....Thanq so much Neetha...:)

[Hope]

My pleasure...
glad you are not confused with Naat and Neetha...
I think many are!

[Surya]

Haha....You mentioned it briefly, so it helped me out...:)

[Hope]

Glad to know..;)

[Wajiha Nayeem]

oh helloww janaab.....are u not happy even when i am ur friend??......stop khamoshi...start enjoying and keep smiling dear! can't see u in the dark and can't see u fading away somewhere!

[Surya]

Bus waise hi likha tha....or elseam completely fine with u as friend....Thank you dear....:)

[pia]

I loved reading a hindi based poem on this platform !!! I love how u managed to bring out so much in this !!! Great job

[Surya]

Thank you, am glad you enjoyed....:)

[Farhan Shaikh]

Amazing poem very good job surya..

[Surya]

Thank you Farhan...am glad you enjoyed it...:)

[Priyanshi]

wow ! Surya . I have no words to explain how good it is..... it is really the most excellent poem.
har word badaa hi khubsurat hai.

[Surya]

Wow..wow..wow...Thank you so much Peiyanshi for such beautiful words...am glad for them...:)

[Surya]

Priyanshi*..sorry..:)

[Priyanshi]

No problem. my pleasure reading your writings.

[Abhishek Asthana]

khaamosh kaliyaan sar jhukaaye jo hai raahon me aapki,
khil uthengi jab padegi boond inpe barsaat ki..

well done surya,, now your trials are proving out to be successful...very nice creation of yours... keep writing :)

[Surya]

Haha, true of course, Thank you so much for your kind words and visit...am glad for them...:)

[Najam Us Saher]

Dil toh patthar hai pani me dhub gaya.....I liked this line the most. Very nice and thoughtful. I really liked this.

[Surya]

Haha, Thank you Saher for your kind visit and words am glad for them..:)

[Najam Us Saher]

You're welcome.

[Pravir]

Aye hayeee. . . . sayar saab . . dil ko chhoo li apki ye kavita . . .bhut barhiyaa . .

[Surya]

Haha...Shayar aur me...naa ji...
Thank you Pravir for your kind visit and words...:)