A Heart In The Cold Breeze

The day I first saw you is

The day that turned me

from a rockstar to a melody singer

The moment I look into your eyes 

I can see the cold mountains with a 

Romantic flow of snow from

Your eyes to mine and 

The moment I hug you, 

makes my heart warm so that

You, my love, can stay in my heart

Warm in the cold breeze.

Author's Note

Hey there, This is my first writing in prose style, treat me as a friend and correct me wherever possible.

Reviews

[Anindita Janhabee]

U know what, there r two ways to read a Poem... one by words..other by emotions... when u read by words, u can judge the poem and appreciate.. when u read by emotions, u can feel and appreciate...
i tried the second one here... so no suggestions.. sorry....
i loved it... very much...
it was really so warm, full of desires...

[Surya]

Thank you.You got a feel on this writing, Am so glad for that.

[Anindita Janhabee]

I'm glad to read this too!!!😃

[Priyanshi]

"The day I first saw you is
the day that turned me
from a rockstar to a melody singer"....so delighting lines....power of love to turn's a rockstar into a melody singer....superb poem.

[Surya]

Yeah...haha...Thank you so much Priyanshi it means to me, as i i my very first write of my poetic life...:)

[Priyanshi]

Always my pleasure....though first write but great.

[Surya]

That's a pleasure..Thank you:)

[Hope]

A fine first attempt.
Equally great is the imagery.
Poetic prose:)

[Surya]

This is the very first write of my poetic life....Thank you so much Neetha...:)

[Hope]

My pleasure

[Wajiha Nayeem]

wowiee surya!
i just wanted to suggest you that..
''the moment i hug you makes my heart warm''
instead you can write it as..''the moment i hug you i find my heart feeling the warmth of your touch''..
just a suggestion as you are my friend and overall it's just lovely and a pretty write!!

[Surya]

Ahh, That's good too...
Thank you Wajiha for your kind words....am glad you enjoyed..:)

[Wajiha Nayeem]

hey!...anytime..my pleasure..

[Abhishek Asthana]

short romantic write,,, lovely creation,,, keep writing

[Surya]

Thank you Abhishek...:)

[Surya]

Thank you Abhishek...:)

[Mr.Writer]

So beautiful... lovely... filled with amazing words!

[Surya]

Aw!, Thank You Mr.Writer for your kind visit..:)

[Mr.Writer]

No problem :)

[Giulia King]

The last few lines are so beautiful!

[Surya]

Thank you for your kind visit, keep visiting..:)

[Farhan Shaikh]

Wow such a wonderful work Surya, very good 😊

[Surya]

Thank you Farhan...:)

[Bala Gorthi]

Well here you are addressing that love. I love the quality you are attributing to your love. A quality of changing and transforming the other. Offering the warmth to the cold mountains there by bringing in two extremities in one place. Interesting, Surya!
Thank you for this beautifully presented tender emotions.

[Surya]

To be honest this is my first write in life....Thank you for your words and appreciation, am glad...:)

[Bala Gorthi]

We must treasure our first writes as they are. I am glad that your first write is beautiful as it is.

[CAPOLAVORO]

Mmm prose style requires a heavy imagery. I believe yours is almost there but needs a little bit push into imagery. The words are simple and clear which is good since prose style can simply be like that.
"from a rockstar to a melody singer" this one could be better I guess, I just want more imagery on this level. You can do it Surya. :) Keep writing.

[Surya]

Haha, Thank you for your encouragement and support....This was my first write....and will best to come in upcoming writes...

[Manasa.L]

Words aren't just words, its a feel, emotion, happiness, sadness, and everything that we could think of. Surya, my friend you have an amazing talent of mesmerizing people with your words.
This poem shows how good you can be in any form of writing given to you.
Well done :)

[Surya]

Hohoho.....Thank you, Thanks a lot...your words truly now means a lot, haha....Thanks a ton...:)

[Manasa.L]

you are welcome