What can you see?

"Mirrors don't tell lies" they say. I wonder if you can see more of me than where your eyes travel? I wonder how much of me you can see in the mirror and otherwise.

Can you see my heart
 full of love and my arms growing restless,
waiting to embrace the one I love the most?
Can you see my eyes oozing with envy
for someone who’s better than me?
Can you see the sadness in my smile
and the hope in my dreams?
If the face is the mirror of my mind,
I wonder if you can read my thoughts?

Reviews

[Ashwin Shanker]

Hi Surabhi,

A couple of suggestions.

Please add a space between each 'Can's

Why not rephrase the last line as,

"If the face is the mirror of my mind,
I wonder what it is that you can see?"

I feel this would be a better sign-off.

Also I wonder how anyone would be able to see 'hope in your dreams' ... just wondering,.

[Surabhi Kaushik]

Thanks so much for your suggestions Ashan. I truly appreciate it.
I did not understand what you mean by giving space after Can...do you mean double space?
I liked the way you rephrase the last line...the thoughts remain the same though.
"hope in my dreams" means that sometimes you feel people can see what you are thinking and what you are thinking even if you do not tell them that in words. I hope that answers your question.

[Moonie]

We should probably build a new and better version of the mirror in the future to really tell people if they're beautiful or not...;))
this is a nice poem...good and innovative! :))

[Surabhi Kaushik]

Thanks so much

[Lana Huskins]

Oh wow. This is simply amazing.

[Surabhi Kaushik]

Thanks so much

[Lana Huskins]

No problem, keep up the good work! :)