Dragonfly Wonder

The words "Lake Initial" go to Courtney Moise. Thanks for the idea. =)

In loving memory of my friend, Chris.



Dragonfly wonder,
mystical thunder.
Humanity saver,
heart running braver.

Shooting star chaser,
finding rainbow's end.
Playing children games,
fairy tale pretend.

Lighthouse shining,
breaking the fog.
Peeper's symphony,
loud in the bog.

Lake initial, broken dreams.
I'm screaming out loud.
I need my answer,
but you're in the clouds.

Glitter sparkle suns,
black and white movies,
overplaying reruns.

Blue eyes, shattered pieces,
smiles left behind.
Another wonder like you,
I'll never find.

The good might die young,
but that doesn't make it right.
I'm sure we'd all admit,
we think about you every night.

Ink scribbles in your name,
a bench to add the fame,
as if remembering you,
is just a child's game.

Minutes to weeks,
months to years.
Left alone,
consumed in fears.

Tears were cried,
screams were yelled.
Friends were hugged,
hands were held.

Still our dragonfly wonder,
was taken away.
Without you here,
there's nothing to say.

You were the savior,
with smile delight.
With each argument,
you put up a fight.

Braver than most,
shining in dark.
On many hearts,
you've left a mark.

Phone pole passing
will never the the same.
Each time I see,
we're thinking your name.

Initials scratched,
in memory keys.
I'll see you again,
when I finally cross,
heaven's boundaries.

Author's Note

Is it stupid to say I still miss you even though it's been over 3 years? Well, obviously I miss you, everyone does. The more stupid thing to say was that I feel like sometimes I miss you the most. I was just a friend, passing through. You had friends you'd known for years and years, you had parents, other family, etc,. So in all reality, I probably don't miss you the most. I do know that out of all the people I've lost, I miss you the most. To think that when we were friends, I'd never expected to lose you. I often wonder why my reaction to hearing about your death was so different than everyone else. People I've talked to said they didn't cry. They claim they wouldn't let themselves believe it. Why was I the one that broke down into uncontrollable tears for hours? Why was I the one who felt like part of me had just died? Were you part of me? Am I being ridiculous, sounding like a lovestruck teen? Who knows? I do know that I miss you, and even those words can't describe it. People always talk about your smile, the one you always wore. Well, let me tell you. I can't stop thinking about that smile lately. It was genuine, caring and true. Your eyes, your smile, your stories and your laugh. I carry them all with me. Some days, I wake up, and I feel like I've lost something, forgotten a little piece of you. That scares me more than anything, to think I might not remember everything about you. Everyday I see your picture posted on my bulletin. I wonder what you would look like today, grown up and mature. Would all the girls still be all over you? Or would you have changed so much that they'd have moved on? Would I still have my pathetic crush on you? Yet I don't think it was a crush. Any time I try to move on and be with someone else, before long I've run away, scared to care about someone so much again. Am I really unable to love people because the first person I did died? That's usually what I think. But if I had to go back and not love you, that would be worse.

I've even gone to the point where I blame myself. The last day I saw you, Friday, I promised to call you on the Monday we had off, since I needed to remind you to bring a paper to school. That morning, I considered calling you, then brushed it away and forgot about it. An hour later, we saw Mercy Flight, headed to the corner near my house. I brushed that off too, since accidents were so common there. When Mrs. Walker called, worried, asking for Mom, I brushed that off too. When Mom came home crying, I couldn't brush that off.

I cried when you died. Uncontrollably, sobbing. Ever since, I haven't cried the same. It's as if nothing seems bad anymore. I had gone to state where I was numb, so I could hide all the pain away. I've slowly started to feel again, about most topics. When it comes to you, I'm too afraid to feel. I cling the the past, the memories I hold.

I love you, Chris. I still do. God, I miss you. I'll never forget you.

Reviews

[brenda]

deep poem im sure he will love the poem he is with you you and maybe he is now readign this poem sorry if this sounds crepy but beautiful poem !:)

[IceDragonOfPluto]

So much in one piece. It's ok to miss someone and keep their memory with you. I'm sure he would have enjoyed this poem.

[Alicia Hirshey]

This was a great poem. If you ever need to talk. Remember I am still here.

[Charcoal White]

I agree. It's definitely not stupid to miss someone after all those years. I found out a good friend of mine was killed six years ago, and I still miss her. She wasn't the kind of friend you describe here, but I'd be devastated if I lost my boyfriend. Everyone heals in their own way, in their own time, and everyone grieves in different ways. If your relationships don't work out from your memory of him, then you're not ready to move on. You owe to yourself and to him, not to rush your feelings. The memory of your friend will always be with you, and though you'll always miss him, eventually the pain will subside and you will be ready to move on. For now, though, you don't have to if you can't.

[Helpless]

its not stupid to miss someone no matter how many years its been.
i still miss my grandpa and its been over three years.
this is a sweet poem! beautiful and yet so sad