Suicide Sabrina

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WdPnbhO_SX8&ob=av2n

Anorexic Annabelle
 With bones protruding,
her health is ailing,
body functions failing.
Baggy clothes,
to hide the sticks
you call your arms.
She gave into
the mirror tricks.
Close to death,
far from life.
About to take
the dying breath.
Nervosa Anorexia,
a scientific term.
A disease like cancer,
not caused by a germ.
Due to insecurity and lies,
little anorexic Annabelle
become sticks and bones.
Easily broken,
with a couple of stones.

Bipolar Bailey,
mood disorder girl.
Spinning through the days,
in a multi-colored swirl.
Depressive turns to manic
First dancing happy,
next screaming
along with music.
Rapid cycles,
stuck in her mind.
As times goes on,
she's falling behind.
Taking the lithium,
to reduce suicide.
Even with drugs,
she's lost inside.
Due to a little
"mistake" in her brain,
little bipolar Bailey
is screaming out loud,
trying to find,
her own happy cloud.

Cutter Camille,
of only fifteen.
You wouldn't believe
the things she has seen.
Cuts on her wrists,
and tears on her face.
Hiding her scars,
with ribbon and lace.
Razor blade symphony,
and roulette misery.
Self-harmer, abuser,
of the body she owns.
Tracing the patterns,
of sharp razor cyclones.
Due to loneliness and pain,
little cutter Camille,
has no way to cope,
but to slice open a vein.

Depressed Derek
Like most of the world,
he can't deal with pain.
A crack in his days,
and into depression
he becomes hurled.
Unaware of how,
he can take action.
Depression is a demon,
destroying your mind.
A disease, just like cancer,
eating up all good inside.
Derek is "different"
to his classmates and friends.
But he's just like the rest,
trying to make amends.
Due to a cause,
currently unknown,
depressed Derek,
stands in this world,
with no friends, all alone.

Alcoholic Alexander,
downing another.
Following the footsteps
of his deceased father.
Hangovers daily,
whiskey bottles scatter,
twinkling on the floor.
Remains of a battle,
fought in this long war.
Rum and tequila,
a beer or five.
Everyone is surprised,
Alexander can survive.
Bloodshot eyes,
and whiskey breath.
Drinking closer,
to the looming death.
Due to addiction,
alcoholic Alexander,
is trying hard to fight,
but there's no end in sight.

Druggie Deanna,
injecting some more.
She's lost at sea,
swept from the shore.
She can't even remember
how things were before.
Heroin, crack,
marijuana leaves.
Injection, smoking.
The method won't matter
As long as a high she achieves.
Jittery and lost in illusion,
the drugs are her haven.
Due to "just try it",
druggie Deanna,
 can't even quit.
Her life is broken,
more than a jigsaw.

Suicidal Sabrina,
standing on the ledge.
She got to close,
to that dreaded edge.
Staying skinny,
wouldn't work.
She still felt ugly,
with all her quirks.
A razor blade kiss,
made depression worse.
"The cat scratched me",
couldn't fool the school nurse.
Swallowing alcohol
didn't last long.
All the whiskey
just wasn't that strong.
Blowing her problems,
out in a smoke,
just caused her to choke.


Suicide Sabrina,
stands on a ledge.
The water below her,
feet close to the edge.
What no one else knows,
is she doesn't want death,
drugs, alcohol, self-harm,
beauty, perfection, or meth.

Suicide Sabrina,
wants to be saved.
She knows it was wrong,
the way she behaved.

Suicide Sabrina,
stands on a ledge.
She just needs a savior,
to help her crawl away,
from depression's edge.

Reviews

[Aarontastic]

Honestly, I thought that this poem would be a little corny at first because of the alliteration that is repeated throughout the beginning of each stanza in order to introduce a new personality, but I ended up being totally wrong and totally surprised by how engrossing and moving this was.

The poem is so effortlessly lyrical that it was more like listening to a reading of it or a song than reading it myself. It really flows easily. I found myself identifying with a lot of the personalities presented, as more about their life's situation was revealed in the concise little lines. I can't pick a favorite really, because each story was so good in itself: cutter Camille hiding her wounds with ribbon and lace, alcoholic Alexander following in the footsteps of his deceased father...those stanzas really stick in my head.

Suicide Sabrina was the penultimate personality in the poem because she sort of represented the culmination of all of the others' feelings, and her search for salvation hinted at their own. From the sensitive way that you wrote this and described all of the characters, I can tell that you really understand them in a personal way.

There are a few little grammatical mistakes like a misplaced comma here and there and the wrong form of 'to' used, so you might want to go back and edit those away, even though in all honestly it doesn't detract very much from the poem at all.

You ought to be very proud of this, it's good stuff =)

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

Your words make me cry for these lost souls.
Such a strong poem and format makes it stronger- you covered all the
sicknesses grabbing so many today , young for the most part, but some old..
Very moving. A great job and much compassion writing this.

Chloe

[☯]

I really really really felt for this poem. First, I love the structure of the poem, and how you described each disorder and sickness in a depressing and poetic way. How, in the end it described all of them in Suicide Sabrina. I feel that this is a dark and haunting poem. Many teens are suffering today of anorexia, drugs, alcohol, depression, cutting, bipolar cases, and bulimia. It was a major part which I liked, where you put everything together and pulled it into suicide. It's true, many teens commit suicide for their insecurity. Some of them being naive and the others uncomfortable with the real world. Sometimes, reality is too much, and depression takes over. The poem is amazingly trout out and conveys what we are too scared to admit. I feel that this poem says a lot. How the world can be a scary place, and how some of us cannot survive.

[Kathryn]

If I went through all the parts of this I loved, I would not only be here all day, but would also end up repeating the whole poem. It's beautiful, and the spiralling emotions that all lead down to Suicide Sabrina tell the story of so many lifes as one. Brilliant work, I really love it. Great job, shelving this :)

[RedInk524]

Long, dark, and creative. I like the multiple views and how they all come together for the final picture. Very good structure. Favorite.

[TJ]

What an insightful look into the minds and lifes of people that have been beaten down by society and tried to cope with their lives. I love how well you paint the images of the internal struggles that plauge these people and also add in how they are viewed by the outside world. And I love the complexity you put in with Sabrina (and really with all the characters) by showing that through all these destructive behaviours they just want to be saved. There's a lesson to be learned from that!
All I'd say to this is be sure to keep your rhyming format tight, sometimes your rhymes came a line late.
Good Work!

[KimLove "The Beautiful ..]

Kayla, I can not say this is beautiful but it is a very insightful write, draws you in keeps you on the edge waiting for a happy ending. Always forgetting in life there is not always a happy ending. I am not sure how old you are Kayla but you should read this before your whole school during drug awarness week.

[Veronica Chandler]

What an insightful look into some of the things which rip apart at the hearts and minds of so many. Most of these issues while deeply set inside can be noticed. If someone, anyone can see the qualities outlined here in a loved one or friend then we can reach out. No one is ever beyond help if we but just reach out; sometimes it only takes a single caring person to listen.

I would like to offer up a quote which seems a fitting response to this wonderful write, "People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone."
-- Audrey Hepburn

[Suzy Q]

This is so true, we see people and we never know what's wrong with them or what is truly going on behing their cloudy eyes and their half-hearted smiles. Amazing.

[Crystal Kelly]

This was an absolute amazing write. I mean sometimes we don't really see people we just see what we want to see so that we're not obligated to help. This poem helped to really see people. There are always signs that lead up to these actions. I just pray that we all would feel an obligation to help those hurting and in need. An excellent write!!!