Chapter Seventeen

Elated after the charity fun run, Emily and Dainiel's relationship hits a rut.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

I awoke a little while later, my blurry, sleep-filled eyes blinking to focus on my surroundings. They alighted upon Daniel sitting in a nearby armchair, watching me intently. He smiled and rose, came closer, sat down on the sofa. He leaned forwards and kissed me gently, deeply. The roller-coaster soared, headed for the stars, and my heart did too. He drew back to gaze at me again his blue eyes intense. Daniel crossed his hands over his heart, the sign for love, pointed at me, then placed three fingers to one palm. 'Love you Em'.

“You've been practising” I praised him and signed back to him. 'Love you Danny.'

He just smiled at me, that beautiful, sexy smile of his, the one that makes me quiver all over. Daniel kept looking at me, seemingly at a loss for words. Words were his tools, yet at this present moment he seemed to be tongue-tied. He gave a little nod, as if saying to himself 'off you go'. Holding both of my hands, Daniel took a deep breath.

“Where do you want to live after we're married?”

The roller-coaster shuddered, slowed almost to a standstill.

“We're going to be married?” I spluttered, my heart in my mouth.

“We make a great team, you and I” Daniel continued. “I love you Emily, more every day.” He paused, collected his thoughts. “You are always on my mind; the first thing I think of in the morning, and the last thing at night. Everything I do, everything I am, is for you, for our future together.”

My heart did a double back-flip and the roller-coaster finally came to a halt, idling at an intersection. Would it spiral upwards or plummet downwards? Was Daniel asking me to marry him?

Daniel was looking down at our entwined hands. He slowly raised his head and our eyes locked. His were sparkling, hopeful; I was mesmerised. There was so much love in his face; I couldn't look away. He stroked my cheek with the back of his fingers, moved a strand of hair from my face.

I pulled my eyes away from his, swung my legs over the edge of the sofa and sat up. My head felt light, my eyes moist. My mouth felt dry and there was a lump in my throat. There were tiny butterflies in my middle, or were they bugs?

I've had boyfriends before, and I thought I was in love with them. But it felt nothing like this. I didn't fall in love with Daniel, I just knew I loved him, truly, madly, deeply. It wasn't a thought, nor a feeling, it just was. Did I want to spend the rest of my life with Daniel Cooper? He was so gentle, so funny, so dependable. The answer was a resounding yes! Did I want to have kids, bring up a family with this wonderful man? Yes, yes, yes! So why did I hesitate? Why couldn't I simply say yes?

“Ask me again sometime” I heard some one saying, and realised it was me who had spoken the words. “When this is all over, after Jen has gone. She's the most important one in my life right now.”

Daniel had not expected me to say that. He looked stunned. I watched as hope faded to disbelief on his handsome face, watched as his heart took a blow before my eyes. But then his face hardened. He gathered his wounded feelings, wrapped them around himself like a protective cloak. He pushed up from the sofa and headed for his study, murmuring ' I've got an article to write'.

Daniel didn't say another word, didn't even look back at me. He just shut himself away. I stared at the closed door, willing him to come out again, to tell me he understood, that everything would be all right. But it remained shut. The roller-coaster had peaked and was plummeting at breakneck speed towards a splash zone of unfathomable depths.

I rose wearily from my place on the sofa and walked stiffly towards the door, behind which the love of my life had taken himself, to dress his wounded heart. From within I heard the soft staccato of computer keys; journalist hard at work. I lifted one hand to tap gently at the door, but hesitated. They say never go to bed on an argument, but we had not really argued, had we? I had merely pushed Daniel away and he had taken refuge in his work.

“Daniel?” There was no response. “I'm going now.” Silence surrounded me. The only sign of life was Reggie the cat, asleep beneath the breakfast bar in the kitchen. So I left. There was still no sign of life across the road at Jen's bungalow, as I turned right along Richmond Street. Much as I longed to run away and hide, to dwell quietly upon my misery, I could not bring myself to scale the heights of Perry Hill after the fun run. High Street was a longer route home, leading diagonally upwards to St Sophia's church, but it would give me time to wallow on my homeward trek. My mind, however, was benumbed. Automatically I speed dialled Dolly, reaching out to my childhood friend for comfort. Dolly would understand, would provide a shoulder to cry on.

It went straight to voicemail. In desperation I rang off and dialled again. My mind was now a turmoil of jumbled thoughts. Dolly had always been there for me., but was he actually a part of the problem? One of the reasons I was scared of settling down with Daniel? Was I frightened of what it would mean for our friendship? I didn't know, right now, I didn't even want to think about it. The phone hit voicemail again. I dialled once more and this time Dolly answered on the first ring.

“Hey, Bella! How's it going?” Dolly sounded chipper.

At the sound of his well-loved voice I cracked. Choking back tears I spluttered “I've made a mess of things!”

“Where are you?”

“Outside the house.” As I hurried through our gate and realised I'd left my bag at Daniels. “I'm locked out” I wailed hopelessly.

“Wait right there. I'm on my way”. Dolly hung up.

When he arrived five minutes later, almost sprinting down Swan Street, I was huddled on the doorstep. I don't know how he managed to move so fast; I could barely place one foot in front of the other . Dolly rushed up the path, carrying a Styrofoam box of chips and curry sauce in one hand and an open can of Cherryade in the other. At the sight of my forlorn form the pop fell to the ground, sending a wave of cherry-flavoured fizz over next door's moggy, who had the misfortune to be wandering by at the time. The chips followed suit, falling southwards to land with a cascade of curry sauce all over Dolly's lime coloured trainers.