Untitled

Untitled

I had a name, a voice, a smell, and an image,,,,

the moment u called me,

without my name,

I found myself nowhere,

I found myself as nothing,,,,

What true story u told me,,,,

I can't lie to myself anymore,,,

I don't see the use of my pretentions,,,

Yet it hurts when truth confronts me,,,

I feel defeated, almost every moment,,,

when my friends move blindly,,,,

And I can't tell them the way,,,

I question your truth,

when I tell goodbye to them inside,

and get along with them,

I question your love,,,,

when I tell myself, that enough is enough,,,,

I confront freedom, that was always there,,,

and I again feel embarrassed, ashamed,

that I am prison, I am the slave,

And I am the prisoner,,,,

freedom tells me to come,

I run away,,,,

but u tell me to come,

and I feel easy,,,,

this is the game,,,

yet, I'm a fool all the way,,,,

and u are, who else, but a mirror....

a mirror, I fear to look,,,

and it is calling me,

without calling my name....

Reviews

[AprilRN1210]

freedom is scary.. sometimes that prison becomes a comfort.. sometimes we think it will become what it once was again... sometimes we just don't want to be alone.. once you figure out it is a game, they go and change the rules on you again it seems like.. take the blinders off, look.. don't be afraid of what you will find.. look fear in the face---it is never as bad as you think... what a thought-provoking piece my friend.. use of repetition is nice in this one, it makes the piece more powerful.. well done...

[Sunya]

Thankyou April :) freedom is scary because maybe we are not used to it..you are so right about everything :) I am glad you liked it

[AprilRN1210]

you're welcome my friend.. it is always a pleasure :)

[wordiggerone]

Freedom from all associations of my existence? Scary indeed, we step back with a start from the lip of that chasm that's us. Embarrassed, ashamed- yes again. You give a voice to so much complexity with amazing ease, Sunya. I'm impressed!

[Sunya]

Thankyou Sir :) I'm glad you enjoyed it

[Frontier]

Make the leap /////////////////////

:)

[Sunya]

Yesss indeed :D but its scary isnt it?

[Frontier]

Yea but its supposed to be! That means it is worth doing! Luck and love to you friend!

[Sunya]

Thankyou Frontier :) I'll tell you if I make the jump :D

[MomzillaNC]

At the end of the day, we must all look ourselves in the eye every time we look in the mirror. If we don't like what we see, we have only ourselves to blame. And, sometimes, the mirror is the image others show us of ourselves.

Notes: There is never a correct usage for multiple commas. The multiple periods is always limited to just three for correctness; in fact, there is a symbol available in your key caps for the three periods called an ellipse. If you're using the letter "u" for "you" in this fashion, I recommend capitalizing it, as you do the personal pronoun, for more poetic impact; then, it looks deliberate instead of looking like you were just too lackadaisical to spell out "you."

[Sunya]

At the end of the day, the mirror should show no reflection of us but the world that is inside and all around us :)
The poem is about a call from the divine, not retrospection
Yes the comas were not intended to be used correctly, sometimes it shouldnt matter how right you are or how wrong..And yes i will capitalize 'u' :)
Thanx for the tips btw and thanx for taking the time to review :)
Much appreciated

[MomzillaNC]

You're welcome.