Pretence Lover

Eye's like crimson.
Bring the fire.
I need a spark.
I wanna fly higher.

You got me wrapped.
Around your finger.
I want to be free.
No longer need to linger.

Putting on my heels.
Heading out the door.
Seeking new and exciting things.
I need you no more.

Love was a joke.
Hate was in the real.
You've givin me guts.
I'm on the road and out I peal.

Gooobye Pretence Lover

Author's Note

Apply it to you =)

Reviews

[Stephen Scaggs]

So I'm assuming by the author's note that this is a scenario you made up from the beginning. What I like about this poem is that it's staying on key throughout the entire poem. The message that is. And I've had this in my life before; though I wouldn't say love sucks. Of course, I've never been in a relationship longer than a month... so I'm not the most stable of people. But this is an amazing write. I want to encourage you to keep writing. ^_^

[Deaths Cold Kiss]

i really like this poem the last stanza is really good

[Thomas B. Buckman]

This is everyones heartbreak.
I like it.

Ohh... Everyones heartbreak... I'm gonna use that...

[Billy the Kid]

I really liked "putting on my heels". It's an action with lots of meaning that I could see in my mind. I also like "you've given me guts." It was a good surprise end to this poem. I would like to see you write more poetry describing what you do or your character is doing in the poem rather than telling me. Let the reader read what the character is doing and decide what they're feeling, leave it a little mysterious for the reader. That's why I like stuff like "putting on my heels". Or something like "she smeared her lipstick on like a scar" that's not so good, but hopefully you get the idea. I think you could write even better poetry and get to your raw feelings by doing this without just telling the reader you're hurt by a broken relationship. Have a good day, I'm off to work.

Yours,
Billy the Kid