Blessing in Disguise

Kazi's returned safely ( God gave her back to me )

What a blessing in disguise I have received !
My Lord heard my crying and gave my missing kitty back to me.


It was a day of fighting and arguing that he used her to bless me and change the atmosphere of where my emotions and heart were leading me



there I was sitting in the scorching van throwing a fit about things not going my way again


I began thinking about how spoiled I had been before with my husband always giving me my way to avoid upsetting me

Well needless to say I was just having one of those moments about being disciplined for what was necessary to tell me no about something

It was over not being able to get another kitty to replace My Kazi ! And after being told I couldn't have another kitty I was ready to leave him ! "SERIOUSLY "


And for a long while I just sat there in the heat mad and getting madder not wanting to listen to what he had told me no about

then I took a deep breath and erased kitty off of the paper in the notebook I had been jotting inventories in on a list of important things and tasks to go after buying and paying off and placing money into after my income came in


Then as my husband returned to the vehicle I just glimpsed out the window as he'd pulled off ( Still Pouiting )
acting childish angry hearted and mean towards him

And there out of the corner of my eye as i peered out my window under a church picnic table there was my Kazi !
Laying safely and scared under the table avoiding the heat .

I yelled out Kazi !

Then ...

My husband slammed on the brakes and said "what"
really??? no way !!! And began laughing joyfully .

(I didn't know it then or realize it) because I was mad ... but he didn't want another kitten he wanted Kazi too !




I had been praying for 3 days unto to the Lord reveal what had happen or to send her back to me ( Because after Rocko was fine and I couldn't find evidence of her life being taken I had no choice but to rule him out of the equation of her disappearance

Anyways ...



I had my answer !

And What A blessing she has been to me ...

Since my lord gave her back to me !

And Rocko is doing great too ....
I prayed for him also but he needs lots of prayer
Because he's becoming quite vicious and territorial
I don't know what to do about him


I am overwhelmed with mixed emotions on what to do with his behaviors lately ...


But for now ... I'm content because I Have Kazi again.

She's been very therapeutic for me .

I struggle with being suicidal because of things I'm enduring
That I just have not been able to catch a break upon leaving and releasing parts of me still remaining bound due to a strong hold of spiritual warfare over me For almost 11 Years now!


Well ... anyways back to my story ...

long story short Kazi on days I don't feel like pressing forward along with reflection time prayer and bible reading & listening to my gospel spending time with Kazi has become my extra motivation and comfort to ease my mind and heart about things too and she distracts me with demanding love from me always no matter what it is that I'm doing


She has been my little extra focus of my attention and a small reminder how precious life truly is and why it's so important to hold onto it and the little things no matter how difficult of a battle that might be for me I know now that isn't God's will for me in used to think I went too far in my sins and I lost privilege for my salvation to be granted


But I know now because of many reasons as of lately that he wants me to not give up on me or the many things I'm responsible for keeping alive also


And to realize


To just keep pressing forward and holding on and not give up on winning back me from the Strongholds of the enemy !

Because Faith and works doesn't leave room for defeat .



My Blessings lately that have been many that God didn't have to give me



to use to help hold me together and rebuild strength and instill in me a greater reason to live and continue breathing lately that wasn't about me


Funny you wouldn't think such a Big thing could factor into something so little

But it truly is the little things that you wouldn't think God could use


That he does to reach you !


Especially if it seems to be the only way he can lately...


If there is one of many things I have learned most about God

Its this ...
he chastise whom he loves ... because that's what Good father's who don't want you to do wrong does .


And he will use whatever he has to ....

In order to break ( self down ) so he can use you for his glory !



And for me for many reasons


That has been necessary


And for that I am thankful


Because without discipline , breaking my pride and ego , as well as sense of self ...


I wouldn't be spiritually growing !

And I wouldn't be overcoming the worst enemy to battle than the enemy himself ...

And that is


Me !

And what he uses to do that truly is a blessing in disguise of the utmost importance for many aspects of my continuing living and getting up to continue the fight another day ....

And it's funny he used

Even something as little as a kitten ....



Named Kazi...

To keep me going another day .


:')





http://youtu.be/1CSVqHcdhXQ

Author's Note

I'm sure you will see much in this and perceive a lot about me

But I do not mind being placed under a looking glass for examination of heart and soul as well as spirit for all to see



I hope what you see is more than just me

I hope you see the Light of Jesus living through me







http://youtu.be/1CSVqHcdhXQ

Reviews

[Jimmy Yetts]

Lovely writing full of wisdom arriving at a happy ending.
Couldn't ask for more.
Great read, S!