Life Goes On Even In The Midst Of The Battle

Continued ....

Life goes on even in the midst of the battle and daily more and more im praying the devils out of my door i slept better last night then i have in a while i kept so occupied that i was not focusing on what was out of my control at all My life goes on it must i cannot stop even on days i feel that I do not wish to get up to fight another day through the battle of torment that it speaks unto me telling me how ive lost and i am defeated that there is no hope in God for me

 

but yet i still press on and continue trying to ignore what it speaks to me and life goes on in the midst of the battle for me if i let it keep me down then it wins the victory i have to show it that it has no power over me no matter what it speaks to discourage and dishearten me

 i thought i would be stronger by now you would think id have moved up in ranks by now as long as i'e been enduring this demonic warrior that seems stronger than I

it doesn't sleep it just keeps on doing its task determined to break me in every aspect of my every being 

it has a few times but i cant keep allowing it to break me and call me out out what causes me to feel weak and defeated and overtaken by it daily no i must press on life must go on for me I cannot and will not let it keep breaking me and causing me to feel less of a victor than the victim that it has made me too long ive been battling

 

oh how i long for the day i am fully set free and the more and more i go through this i cant help but wonder why is there so many

 or is it just one i am unable to discern the difference

 now all i know is that im to the point that its stolen my joy and contentment for far too long and i cannot and will not rest until it has left me and waved the white flag in surrender not unto to me but unto the 1 that died for me and continues to fight for my freedom with me daily 

that was already given unto me im just not understanding a lot about this happening but im to the point im no longer looking for clarity or questioning what i fail to wrap my head and heart around 

 all im looking for now  is release oh sweet release for me 

 but until this is over ....

 Life goes on in the midst of the battle for me its one of those days where i have to force myself to do things even though all i feel like do is weeping uncontrollably remaining so angry because im not yet fully free i march around that altar boldly giving my all to My Jesus that I know can hear me and yes he visits me and strengthens me to be able to continue the fighting and even fights it for me

 it just refuses to Surrender Me 

 for some reason it really wants me I swear man im like its Trophy or something 

But I  dont belong to it i never did and it has to release the power strongholds and the control that its had over me how dare it stand against my God as if its bigger and badder than he oh I cannot wait until my Lord Sets me free until then I look to heaven thanking him and praising him for the full victory that has not yet happen for me fully 

 i no longer blame my faith for anything I now know it was  my foolish sins and selfish ways of thinking and my impatience  that captivated and consumed me and caused this evil to come upon me and i became its prisoner that it has in chains refusing to stop fighting me 

 if only i would have drawn towards the light sooner if only then i would have embraced what was right and Godly maybe then i would not have been so deceived and overtaken by the trickster that resides with me falsely undeserving