Torn Veil

Sometimes the word 'Good'bye is so very inappropriate in the situation

 

Illusions and quintessential dreams,

Fairytales, always thought invading it seems

 

Intangible fingers formed by sheer will power,

Bearing gifts,

Embarked upon their journey from a mature mind to a naive heart.

Breaking down walls that, like the ones from Jericho, stood invincible until the gifts of the mind; common sense and rationality, were blasted from ancient horns.

See what is really there.

 

Lift the veil.

Move pass the words engineered for flattery.

Hear the actual emptiness.

 

Take a single step forward,

Letting the cloak of pretense,

Threaded with denial,

Beaded with those illusions, dreams and fairytale ideas,

Hit the floor.

More bare than the waste land that is your word.

- disillusoned.

 

Standing before me- once upon a time,

Covered in the dust,

Of journeys travelled in your life.

Sparring the pusillanimity of my nature,

Brushing the dust, off your face.

Secretly parched from my own roads that I have taken.

 

I was spinning my own illusions,

From the temporary golden thread that spewed from your lips,

UNTIL-

The well ran dry.

Now I'm watching those beautiful words evaporate,

Knowing that you will soon evaporate in the sun.

 

 

Had you removed your hands from my eyes,

The sight of approaching darkness may have caused me to flee

Only time would have told

But at this hour I have heard all that I need.

So I humbly reclaim my dismantled heart,

I'll coat my spine with steel,

Setting you free...

 

Silhouette riding off in the distance

I will not fight this need to cry,

Mouth full of razors,

I whisper to you...

 

"Goodbye".

 

Author's Note

I did a few changes based on the advice i was given :)

Reviews

[brenda]

niceo ne love the ffeling in this can realte tot his !:)

[Kelly M.]

This nearly broke my heart. I only hope that your heart will be healed from the pain you feel right now. This truly touched me. The way you write is absolutely amazing, and I feel like I can see into your soul and understand the way you feel. Beautifully written. Now, I pray that your heart will be restored as it once was. Just don't forget that God is ALWAYS with you. No matter what. :)

[J. Hampton]

letting go ...
a thought pained piece

[OT]

oh yes such a great write - as always your descriptions are well picked and the words put in exactly the right place - loved these lines "Embarked upon their journey from a mature mind to a naive heart." - great vocabulary displayed here too - the story strong throughout - through the tears - loved this image too - "So I humbly reclaim my dismantled heart,
I'll coat my spine with steel," - great job - great ending too - the simple goodbye - nice!

[Linear]

Don't it always hurt when someone you felt was oh so special turns out not to be, they change before our eyes and start to try and break down our integrity, its best to say fare thee well, even if it feels like our insides are being ripped out. Good writing :0)

[Tate Morgan]

An interesting write I think it best would be described as abstract

[SoulCrusader (Yas)]

A great poem, love the storytelling nature so poetically put :)

[Coyote Poetry]

You wrote a amazing poem. The words were honest and strong. No weakness in this poem. The ending was pure art with words.
"Silhouette riding off in the distance
I will not fight this need to cry,
Mouth full of razors,
I whisper to you..."
Thank you for the outstanding poem.
Coyote

[Day Dreamer]

Wonderful! Keep writing! :)