Passion's play

My pseudo-sestina

 

I fell in love right away

Not with his face per se, but his passion

The way he stared at his guitar

The way he could make it sing

Tickling the neck with skilled fingers

Keeping time with its body

 

He controlled the movement of his body

Letting only the music fully express his passion

It was so hard to look away

Watching him stare lovingly at his guitar

Responding beautifully to the touch of his fingers

And oh how beautifully it could sing

 

When I heard him play I wanted to sing

But it would take all the magic away

So I swayed to the music, my body

Obeying the command of his guitar

I closed my eyes and felt his passion

Radiate from my ears down through my fingers

 

I let my hair down, pulling it through my fingers

The voices of angels called out from his guitar

As if for my soul alone they sing

The voices resound within my body

They chase my consciousness away

Leaving in their wake only passion

 

And it was this very passion

I loved, more so than his fingers

Ticking the neck or tapping the body

It was the way he made my spirit sing

With the gentle strum of his guitar

When I heard him I knew right away

 

I wish there was a way

To bottle up all his passion

Take it into my own body

And heal the damned with the touch of my fingers

I could teach the Broken to sing

With just the strum of my guitar

 

It was his guitar that made my heart sing

His passion that drove the darkness  away

And his fingers that soothe my broken body

 

Author's Note

alrighty...
This my first attempt at a sestina. According to "Da Rulz" I failed. I didn't realized the repeated words had an order (615243) until I began writing the 4th stanza, and in my book that's too late. So here is my pseudo-sestina. It was fun so I might try another one, but maybe next time do it right...

Oh and this poem is about Andy Mckee. I found him on youtube and as the poem says "fell in love right away". =)

one more thing... I kinda borrowed the title from a William Fitzsimmons song =P

Reviews

[DiggeyEleven]

I'm not a poet, so I have no idea what you were trying to go for, but I enjoyed it. Almost felt like a story to me then really a poem, perhaps it's the flow that you were trying to go for but were not able to accomplish. The poem itself does have soul, like you can hear the music that your describing, you can really see the way he plays an almost private concert between you and the guitarist. That's at least the mood it created, the love you had for him, how enchanted you were with him. I enjoyed it.

[Soul Magic✯]

beautifully written. your visuals is so amazing. it kept me reading to the very end... great ink

[Serendipity]

Great job, love the flow
"It was his guitar that made my heart sing
His passion that drove the darkness away
And his fingers that smooth my broken body"

not sure what a sestina is, but loved it.

[M. View]

Hay this is a great poem you can feel the emotion in every stanza and you paint a picture that is so clear with your word play. You are truly a poet at heart Great Write

I wish there was a way

To bottled up all his passion

Take it into my own body

And heal the damned with the touch of my fingers

I could teach the Broken to sing

With just the strum of my guitar

[deactivated account. pl..]

*she makes a big smile* I LOVE WILLIAM FITZSIMMONS.
when I saw the title, I clicked because I thought "hmmm... maybe she knows William Fitzsimmons" and I am very pleased that you do.
but, on with the review:
"tickling the neck with skilled fingers" - this line is completely flawless.
the complete poem, to be honest, is so close to flawless. it is very deeply felt, tangible emotions conveyed straight to the reader.
great work.

[moon manmad]

well destiny I know next to nothing about poetry and its mechanics so take this with a grain of salt: I think this is one of the best poems I've ever read here at wc; I love the repeated words, the rhythm of the poem, not so much like a song but a dance to a steady and romantic beat..excellent work here....have you tried to publish this? if not, you should do so.