So She Drifts

She looks back at the shore.
She can see everyone she loves
calling for her.
Begging her to come back.
She knows she can still make it,
but nothing seems to matter anymore.
She could save herself,
but this moment passes slowly and at the moment there is no consequences.
In her mind everything will work out fine.
The rocking of the gentle waves beats back the worries and doubts that should be overwhelming her
Just for a little while she tells herself but she knows the truth.
She knows refusing to swim in any direction would result in her death but that's okay.
So she drifts.
Further and further,
hoping she'll end up in a place better then the one she left.
Doing nothing however, to make sure she gets there.
This paradise would have everything she ever needed without the need to find it
She dreams away her life
Never quit feeling apart of reality
Her world is ending but she sees blue skies
So she drifts...

Author's Note

Any and all comments are welcome. :)

Reviews

[Flow]

You have the talents of a true story teller an almost lost art form. This poem made me feel two things the first the apparent that she was out in the water drifting but then I felt it was really about life and making choices in our lives.

Your flow has a soft and consistent delivery and it is fun to read your work

[Justin Tobey]

This poem is a great reflection on making choices, and, sometimes, choosing to do nothing. A great comparison. I don't think there's anything I would change about this poem. Good job!

[Jon]

Superb.

This is a really strong piece that talks to me about that feeling when everything becomes so overwhelming that we just kind of give up, switch off and drift along to see what fate will bring - really not caring on the outcome.

Captivating, original stuff - love it.

[Kris Tate]

This is beautiful, well written, and very touching

[StephenAndrew]

I'm not sure how you meant for this to be interpreted, but when i read it i had images of a girl that had given up on live and was letting herself die. "hoping she'll end up in a place better then the one she left.
Doing nothing however, to make sure she gets there.
This paradise would have everything she ever needed without the need to find it ."
like she was very sick and she was dieing, her family was all around her and as she closed her eyes to go to sleep they all cried out for her.
very good piece.

[Crystal Mullings]

"This paradise would have everything she ever needed without the need to find it " a parity that many of us look for!

[Robert Luna]

I think you you did the act of passing on to the next part of the journey a wonderful justice here. The way you captured the feeling of oneself and those around in this time is priceless and right on the mark. I really enjoyed this and think you are a true artist of words.



Great Job!!!!!