Heartache

I wrote this villanelle about a girl who I’ve known for a long time. We went out for a while, but then she told me she didn’t like me any more. I’m over it. Kinda.

I find it strange, seeing you;
around the halls, across the street, even sitting on the train.
You never smile at me like you used to.

It doesn’t hurt you like it hurts me, that much I know is true;
Do you even remember what we had, do you even feel the pain?
It still tears me up inside when I see you.

Somehow you’re always near me, in my view;
I’m addicted to your eyes; they’re just as dangerous as cocaine.
I just wish you’d smile at me like you used to.

You could never have been the one, I always knew;
But logic just never really came into it, I can’t even explain.
I suppose I’m never going to stop seeing you.

I know I’ll get over you, I always do;
Still doesn’t mean it isn’t going to drive me insane.
All I want is one smile like you used to.

A small piece of my heart still has hope that you’ll come through,
even though I know I’m never going to get what we had back again.
I spend so long staring at the back of your head but I never really see you.
I never get to see that beautiful smile, like I used to.

Author's Note

This is the first villanelle I have ever written and it was really hard, so maybe try to be as nice as possible haha. Thanks!