Broken Bonds

As I sit on the ledge, feeling the rain drown me, I wonder what happened to us. What happened to our friendships? What happened to the endless conversations, the never ending laughs?

As I think over my past, our memories, I wonder where those days went. When all of us would sit and just talk. Where we knew everything about each other. Where we loved and cared for each other. In my memories we were happy. We were content. We were that group that everyone wanted to be. We did everything together in those days. Today just isn’t the same.

Sitting in the rain, I realized, probably this is how all friendships end. This is the final point of every relationship. At the end you are left with nothing but memories and a feeling of emptiness. If this is true, then why do we bother with it? Why do we go through the trouble of knowing everything about a person and loving them, if eventually we are to end up where we are today? Why do we spill our heart out to others, only to find them gone, when we need them the most? Why then do we let others in, only to have them leave?

Those were the people I handed my trust to. Those were the people I have the best memories with. When I was with them I was alive. We were there for each other at that time. We stood through all the good and bad. We stuck together through all ups and downs. Yet a little distance brought everything crumbling down.

We moved to different places with promises to keep in touch. We vowed that we wouldn’t forget each other. We promised to make out time for each other. We promised to keep our friendship alive. Empty promises. That’s all they were.

Time and Distance threw us apart. We waited for each other to call. Never once did the idea to pick up the phone ourselves strike us. We made new friends, but the feeling wasn’t the same.

Eventually all contact stopped. I wonder whether they think about our memories as much as I do. I wonder whether they long to see my face among the crowd, like I do. I wonder if they dream of going back and starting again. Whether they regret every lost chance, like I do. But all I can do is wonder. I still have too much pride to call them. Yet a part of me still longs to hear our laughter ringing together, like it used to.

I marvel on how much our lives have changed. A year ago I never would have imagined myself to be sitting alone staring at the rain. One year ago, I would be with them. One year ago I would know what each person was going to say, before they said it .Now, I wonder what kind of person they are today.

As I sit on this ledge, drinking my cup of coffee, I realize how empty my life is. How I breathe, yet do not live. As I close my eyes, I feel the rain drown me, and for a second I wish I hadn’t waited so long. But now, time has flown by . All I can do, is sip my coffee and pretend to enjoy the rain. As I sit on the ledge, feeling the rain drown me, I wonder what happened to us.