Divorce

An essay I was supposed to spit out for my English course at IBA, DU

Divorce is the ultimate termination of a connubial relationship. People often consider it the curse for a stable and peaceful society but truth is, it often lets a man and a woman to choose their respective ways for their lives. Dissolving the bonds of matrimony is what divorce does. Matrimony or marriage is for sure a sign of love and trust between two people. But a person can never be sure if he or she has really found the perfect person in the spouse on whom trust or love can be bestowed. It can take ages or even a life-time is not enough to find the perfect match. One can be vaguely following illusions. One can even be lured into a fatal decision. One can even suffer for this fatal decision. It is then when a divorce or the option of divorce can emerge as the saving rope in the darkest well or a light at the end of a tunnel.

 

             Divorce should be looked at with admiring eyes. Those people around us who are chained by forceful matrimony can breathe and gasp for air in a stifling room just for a simple word: Divorce. In a patriarchal society like ours, Stepford Wives are abound around us in every home. It is a shame the women of our country by born are strictly ruled over, when they are young, by their parents, and, when they are married, by their husbands. For their innate shyness and a kind of obsequiousness, women hardly find their right match in terms of matrimony. Sometimes emotional decisions lead them to false bonds. Then their lives become full of sorrow and agony. In that particular period, when we hear often that a man has beaten his wife severely or other stuff alike, a divorce, a piece of paper stating the “end” of that hapless union comes as a saviour for a damsel in distress.

 

           People often ridicule, criticise or even loathe the word divorce. But in reality it is what one can find as a solace from the pains of a topsy-turvy union. For long Bangladesh has a tradition of people marrying with a significant age gap. For often the husband is way older than the wife. Mutual understanding can never be reflected with age that the so-called Gurus in a family like the elderly old-fashioned people believe is the most important factor in a marriage. This long tradition of delusional theory gives birth to the consequences when we think a “divorce” is necessary.

 

          In ancient Hindu society Divorce was forbidden. In this sub-continent for the great births like Ishwar Chandra Vidyasagar and Raja Ram Mohan Roy, the term “divorce” or should we say the practice of this term became possible.

 

          There is no sense in saying two people were made for each other. We only hear them in the profuse emotional babblings of two lovers or other soppy love-stories. Love is a fictional word for two people who think they were born for each other. Love, on the contrary, has a much broader sense. Love lies in humanity. And divorce is honestly a great way to promote humanity.

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

A very hard topic to discuss. Love and marriage is hard work. Take two people willing to gave and take. No perfect marriage. Just two people trying to do their best. My favorite saying is. "Grass may look greener on the other side of the fence. But when you roam into the new grass. You turn around and see the beauty and good things left behind." Thank you for the excellent poem and thoughts.
Coyote

[Victoria PoetryBunny]

What a write you have here with this essay/story. You wrote this so nicely, so organized. I enjoy the way you bring a different culture into this to me, it is interesting. As for the subject of divorce, it is a topic that is indeed difficult to discuss like a debate. You brought out good thought to divorce however, in this essay. Some people do look up to the papers to divorce to save themselves from situations. I like how you put that in the essay.

"In that particular period, when we hear often that a man has beaten his wife severely or other stuff alike, a divorce, a piece of paper stating the “end” of that hapless union comes as a saviour for a damsel in distress."

Really great essay with a powerful input of divorce that speaks. Truth, and life are shown and surrounded in this essay around the topic of divorce greatly.

[Lisa Ring]

I can completely understand that your experience is different from mine, because your culture is different. Divorce may very well mean freedom in Bangladesh. I do find it sad that marriage can be such an oppressive environment for huge female populations of the world. I do have a question. Are women really "free" when they divorce? As an American divorcee, my experience was oppressive after the marriage. It was then that I had to raise 3 children in poverty, was forced to pay for attorneys and have the courts order custody, child support, and divorce stipulations...what I (and others) endured made me never want to go through the divorce process ever again.

[Bobbie Coelho]

As I read this piece it became obvious that you are very young: all you say is true but and it is better to end a bad marriage than stay in it. You haven't mentioned the saddest part, though. However good a divorce might be, it is a dream shattered, a limb lost, someone left trampled on and bleeding.

However, you have argued well, but perhaps a bit more of a balance? I am sorry if you find this offensive, it was not meant to be.

[Priyanka Natesh]

You know Sujash, as much as I am forced to admit that divorce is a rush of relief for "damsels in distress", and that " there is no sense in saying two people were made for each other", in the direst situations alone could it be a welcome sign. But you know, here in India (and I am sure in other countries too) the divorce cases have gone up so high in the recent past, that it has become a trend. The slightest disagreement sends them up in flames and the divorce papers are slapped on their faces. The very point of the ceremonial ties of marriage is to discover a whole new sphere of life, to learn to coexist and actually learn to love, not just each other but humanity, as you put it. It is not a comfortable feeling at all to get divorced, is it? Especially not in places where culture is a major driving force. To be honest, those women who are really harassed by their husbands and can do nothing about it hardly go for a divorce. It is only high headed, financially secure women who don't give a second thought about coexisting and contemplating and think of marriage as a burden, who walk with divorce papers. And mind you, it is not the point AT ALL of women not having equal rights as men. That is only an illusion.

Anyway, great write :D It just frustrates me that divorce is taken so lightly. :/

[Tate Morgan]

What a strange take on marriage.I find it fascinating but sad that in your country woman have so few rights.MAN THAT WOULD NEVER GO HERE.However I imagine men like to have young wives.In our country though I see men breaking women's hearts i imagine there it is the other way round when a woman must give up a lover to marry as she is told.

[Debbie_Philly]

This is a really great piece... informative and relate able .... I really like it !!

[Laura Maidah]

You IMPROVED SO MUCH!!! How did you get so much better almost overnight? Damn, guy. Nice. It's very controversial and insightful. Really enjoyed the last paragraph and a glimpse into a foreign world. LA is very different. Brilliant!

[Beck Louise]

This is great :) so true as well