Home Life

If time changes everything
Why are you still the same
I try to please you
Try to make you happy
And it all amounts to nothing
I struggle to stand
Instead of kneeling at your feet
And with each inch you push me back down
You scream at me
Tell me I'm a failure
I've been a failure since you found out about me
That the only good thing I've brought is that I got you out of the Marines
I made it so you could be honorably discharged
And other then that I'm good for nothing
Even when I was a child
Full of dreams and hope
You abolished all of them
You let them abuse me
You let them crawl inside me
You let them destroy my dreams
So all that is left are these nightmares
These horrible memories of sodomy
And you have never cared
You just whisper
"Baby go back to sleep
It's all a bad dream"
But if it's all a dream tell me why these monster haunt me
Tell me why I'm scarred and my memory is bloodied
I trusted you to take care of me
And you never once took care of your responsibilities
I can't figure out why they call it "home life"
Because I've never felt like I've had a life at home
I run the streets and sleep in alleyways
I go online at the library and connect with other people momentarily
I've got a cellphone in my pocket that no one pays for
And a backpack full of sketches and memories and books
I've got enough batteries for my cd player
And enough friends that I don't have to steal to survive
And I don't remember you once trying to care for me
I remember becoming the mother for my brother
A guardian for my sister
And never once did you take care of us
I hate you mommy
For all you've put us thru