Winds of Change

Is change coming? Or is Amanda just paranoid?

Wrigley’s is the closest place we have for the fun we wanted to have. We were all underage, by a year or so, so we wouldn’t be drinking. That was okay, we didn’t need to be drunk to have fun.

 

Anyways, when I left work Derek wasn’t home. I changed into one of my favorite dresses and put some leggings on because it was a little short. I fixed my hair so it was half-up, half-down. I played with Loki for awhile before I just decided to get in my car and drive around.

 

I ended up at Sophie’s apartment building. I closed my eyes for a few minutes, trying to push back the suffocating feeling. I opened the door and slowly walked to her door. It was about eight, so she might be getting ready.

 

She opened the door, surprised to see me. “Hey…what’s up?”

 

“Nothing,” I said softly, shrugging. “Just felt like stopping by.”

 

“Okay,” she shrugged too, but I saw her still eyeing me suspiciously.

 

I was right, and she’d been in the middle of deciding what hairstyle to do. “I think you should just straighten it, it looks really pretty like that.”

 

She decided to straighten her bangs, but curl the rest of her hair. I smiled encouragingly when she finished, but I guess it wasn’t good enough. “Okay, enough. What is wrong?”

 

My eyes widened. “Nothing…”

 

“Do not bullshit me with that crap, Amanda Poulin.” Her hands were on her hips and I sighed.

 

“Things are changing. It’s just catching up with me.” Before she can reply, I continue, “I mean, look at five years ago. I was a mess. Almost every night I tried to cut myself. And I changed. I’m different. So are you. I guess I’m just now realizing that things will never stay the same.”

 

“That’s deep,” she said, raising an eyebrow, and I laughed. I think that was her intention. “Of course things change, but they got better! Yeah, sometimes they don’t, but I mean it’s not our life if we don’t have any drama.”

 

“I know. It’s just…I feel like something big is going to happen.”

 

“Well, then let’s hope it’s big in a good way or you’re wrong. Now cheer up, or I’ll slap you!” She mock threatened and I laughed. I felt better after I talked to Sophie, like usual. That’s probably why I ended up here; she can always cheer me up.

 

When we arrived at Wrigley’s, there was already a manageable crowd. I’m proud to say we danced our fool asses off.

 

At one point, Kaylee and I were leaning on a wall by the dance floor and she smirked at me. “Best trip is the winner?”

 

I narrowed my eyes, an evil grin spreading across my face. “You’re on.”

 

So we leaned and waited for potential victims. I saw a guy coming right into my line of kick. Right as the tip of his toes hit the ground, my foot flashed out from behind him and he went flying. Thank God he didn’t have a drink, because it would have gone everywhere. Kaylee and I burst into giggles, trying to slip away before the guy noticed us.

 

“What’s up with you guys? Why are you so delightful?” Sophie asked, confusion and amusement furrowing her eyebrows.

 

“Amanda tripped a guy and he fell over,” Kaylee choked out.

 

I turned away, so anyone nearby wouldn’t see my hysterics. Except the bartender, who turned around in confusion.

 

The rest of the night went pretty much the same and we had fun. By the time I got home, Derek was already asleep. I felt the wave of loneliness crash against me unexpectedly. The Jack on the counter in the kitchen had the glow of welcome around it. It could make me forget.

 

I poured myself a glass, mixing it with coke, and I sipped it. I shivered at the taste, trying to relax against the burn. After a few minutes I put it down and walk like a sleep-walker towards the bathroom. I knelt by the toilet and stuck three fingers into my mouth, retching over the toilet.

 

When I finish, I lean against the wall, my arms on my knees. I eye the blade resting on a shelf above the toilet.

 

Who was I trying to kid? I haven’t changed. People don’t change.

Author's Note

My mom's boyfriend asked if I was okay today because I 'looked sick' to him. Well, I guess I am in the future. Reviews please!

Reviews

[Sophie]

D:I love it but
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