The Truth Comes Out

I can't deal with her s**t anymore

You've said it for so long,
 I guess you were right,
and I was wrong,
 all we ever do is fight.

We will never work.
You are so fake,
I tell it straight.
Such a horrible team we make.

I stay up late,
and you count it as a sin,
but what do I care?
We're only kin.

You always seem to say,
that I hate you.
Today is the day,
when I say that's true.

Author's Note

This is,ah, dedicated(?) to my mother whose pushed me over the edge.

Reviews

[cynthiabuhainbaello]

Your poem is a heart cry that is complete in its simplicity and brevity. It expressed deep feelings, which like I said, are only yours alone. To share them in poetic lines is your "signature" and these lines are your treasures. I appreciate your honesty in revealing it was for your mother, but I can assure you that later in life, you can come back to this poem and realize the same words being said by your child to you. That's the irony of Life.

[Amanda]

I appreciate your review, but I'm not going to have children in life, and it's likely for that reason.

[Bare trees]

This is a sad poem to read knowing the conclusion you've come to. As far as corrections or advise as to what to change to make elements of it flow more or sound better, I don't think any of that is necessary for a poem such as this unless you feel you want to. You are posting it to express your pain and frustration to others. To overlook that and view this as lines on a page that could flow better with a little tweak here and there is missing the point.

Poetry as I understand it involves metaphors, symbolism, imagination, alliteration or other elements. This poem does not involve any of that with the exception of rhymes, therefore to me, it is another way of saying 'listen to me.' I'm sure others are and can relate to what you have expressed.

[Jordan Easley]

I think this is easily relatable to just about everyone. I like the idea. I believe we've all experienced a time when we wished we could just tell off our mom. One suggestion though. In line 2, get rid of the "and" and finish the sentence after the word "wrong". Start a new sentence at "All". It just allows the poem to flow better. The extra and created an unnecessary pause.

[♪The Girl Next Do..]

So deep. sad. angered. abused. Excellent write, my friend

[Dr. Wood ?]

I think you are forcing it a bit with 'such a horrible team we make' sort of going for the rhyme...In my humble opinion it would be better and more natural to simply write we make such a horrible team...it flows and the rhyme, though still there, is disguised and not so blatant...Good poem though...it's odd how certain occurrences can compel us to put pen to paper.

[Jordan Easley]

I agree with you...sort of. But i'm leaning more towards the idea that she deletes "such a horrible team we make" all together. That line really doesn't make a lot of sense to me. Change it for something else maybe??

[Dr. Wood ?]

all bonds can break????

[Jordan Easley]

Yeah. Even that would be better.

[Rhea752]

awww. that's very sad. hopefully your mother doesn't really hate you. :( great poem though i really like it. :D

[Rhea752]

or you hate your mom?

[Amanda]

If I don't hate her, I can never forgive her at least

[Rhea752]

i'm itching to ask what happened... is that being nosy?

[Amanda]

no. honestly, i dont remember what started this whole thing. but what i do know is she cheated on my dad, ripped me away from my family and friends, chose her lover over me, just when we were finally getting settled, she went and moved us AGAIN after being married for like seven months, and now we fight every day one time at least

[Rhea752]

wow... i'd hate your mom too. :(

[Sophie]

Gr. I wish I could throw a punch, cuz I'd punch her :P

[afra]

awww sad ....great write