Assimilation, Breakdown, Catalyst

The next 3.

Assimilation

 

I shiver just to think of it,
I know I’d rather not.
My guilt, my pain, the uncertain,
They all sure helped a lot.
I called you cold and uncaring,
When really I can see,
The things I said, thoughts in my head,
Were directed straight at me.

 

I had lived a lie for far to long,
Life became a blur of right and wrong,
‘Till the day we met, when you came along,
And it’s for you I write this song.

 

I didn’t want to hear myself,
I knew it all too well.
Whatever with you, I’ve realized is through,
But now I feel like hell.
I know I told you all too much,
Like no-one else before,
My heart on the line, another time,
Just to be hurt some more.

 

I have lived a lie for all too long,
Life’s a blur of right and wrong,
‘Cos you’re not here, yeh now you’re gone,
And all I’ve got is my crap song.

 

If pain just proves that you’re alive,
I never would feel dead.
A never ending scream, some screwed up stream,
Straight into my stuffed up head.

 

I’ve lived this lie for far too long,
And now everything in life feels wrong,
Is it time for moving on?
Why bother with this damn song?
I said why bother with this song.
 

Breakdown

 

Sliding, Seeping, it works its way in,
Ignoring, Enduring, you let it begin.
Slowly, Steadily, the pressure rises,
Hiding, Lurking, under many guises.

 

Struggling, Straining, you won’t let it out,
Submitting, Succumbing, you give into doubt.
Smothering, Strangling, doubt kills your heart,
Cracking, Crumbling, your life falls apart.

 

Tripping, Stumbling, you begin to fall,
Staring, Watching, can’t see through it all.
Falling, Crashing, you’re losing control,
Ripping, Tearing, you’re left with a hole.

 

Clutching, Grabbing, trying to be saved,
Needing, Craving, Pain to be erased.
Seeking, Searching, for someone to tell,
Hoping, Praying, for relief from this hell.

 

Finding, Uncovering, that which you need,
Healing, Repairing, your heart stops its bleed.
Releasing, Revealing, all that kept within,
Reducing, Braking, your world slows its spin.

 

Growing, Developing, you begin to live,
Returning, Restoring, starting to give.
Steadying, Strengthening, keeping strong your heart,
Listening, Helping, keep it from falling apart.

 

Simmering, Waiting, your need not so dire,
Living, Loving, with that you require.
Satisfying, Fulfilling, completing your life,
You’ve found some one to share in your strife.

 

Catalyst

 

A reaction begun under controlled circumstances,
By the catalyst of a few looks and glances.
The ritual courtship a test tube affair,
Attracted like electrons to her long flowing hair.
The resultant compound believed un-reactive,
Simply, she was too damn attractive.
Initially monitored and altered where needed,
It spiraled out of control and your influence receded.
The resultant explosion blew out your senses,
No longer affected by your influences.
Without any control the compound just grew,
Which means your little experiment is through.
So lacking the influence you had to begin,
You remain but a slave to her whim.