The turn of phrase "Words can never hurt you" may be true in a physical aspect, but sometimes, words cut...deep. Maybe it's the soul, or the mind that takes the sting of verbal assault.
When I first read this, I thought "This sounds really interesting...but, something's off about the timing." And then I thought for a second and it clicked - that's what makes it interesting. I would suggest adjusting the timing and making it more rhythmic, but that would make it lose some of it's integrity. I like the bulky timing because it brings into my mind how war really is, how an argument can be. There's no perfection, just calculated moves that hit or miss. I enjoyed the read, Sue. Kudos!
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thanks! I thought about making it more rhythmic with a smoother flow, but you're right, the reason I.. read moreThanks! I thought about making it more rhythmic with a smoother flow, but you're right, the reason I made it less rhythmic was because I wanted the poem to sound more "matter of fact" and a bit all over the place because I'm a bit defeated.
Thanks for the review and I'm glad you liked it!
I think this poem was great. Words can hurt and sometimes we do need to get up and fight. We shouldn't have to take them laying down. Great job!
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thank you :) Though I like to pretend that words don't hurt, they do, but I have to fight them off :.. read moreThank you :) Though I like to pretend that words don't hurt, they do, but I have to fight them off :)
When I first read this, I thought "This sounds really interesting...but, something's off about the timing." And then I thought for a second and it clicked - that's what makes it interesting. I would suggest adjusting the timing and making it more rhythmic, but that would make it lose some of it's integrity. I like the bulky timing because it brings into my mind how war really is, how an argument can be. There's no perfection, just calculated moves that hit or miss. I enjoyed the read, Sue. Kudos!
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thanks! I thought about making it more rhythmic with a smoother flow, but you're right, the reason I.. read moreThanks! I thought about making it more rhythmic with a smoother flow, but you're right, the reason I made it less rhythmic was because I wanted the poem to sound more "matter of fact" and a bit all over the place because I'm a bit defeated.
Thanks for the review and I'm glad you liked it!
I consider myself a creative writer meaning I'm interested in writing anything! I am also an avid reader that loves music and anything else creative! more..