Nobody knows?

Nobody knows?

The moon is broken tonight,

 It has that stupid crack.

The wind, a bit too cold,

The night, a bit too black.

The stars are stealing away their glance,

Trying to escape my confrontation

Of broken trust,

Look how some have become so dim!

And some are hiding behind

Those clouds of dust.

The trees have bowed down,

And they are whispering quietly,

"We don't have the answers you need,

But we do feel pity."

And then there are those little flowers,

Who have closed their eyes,

In innocent hope of being passed by unseen,

I guess even they don't know,

Why we hurt,

Why life gets mean?

There is lightening in the sky,

But the rain seems to be in a fix,

Wondering maybe, what would it say,

If I ask for answers I long?

What blunder did I commit,

Where did I go wrong?

A few birds are flying here and there,

Mocking my inability to fly

And reach elsewhere.

Somewhere,

 Where old friends don't turn their faces away,

Somewhere, 

Where the night is as faithful, as the day.

Author's Note

This is highly exaggerated I know!
Wrote it just for fun!
Thoughts are welcome :)

Reviews

[The Surrealist inside ...]

Exaggerated .. I dont think so .. This is beautifully written ..
Let me be a little more familiar with my Guitar and I promise I will sing this to you ..
It is that beautiful .. Its more like a Progressive rock Song ..
I loved it .. Thanks for making me Read it

[Manpreet]

Nice write!

[Rashmi]

I loved the beginning, and the end. Congratulations on a lovely, pensive, innocent poem.

[Chris]

exaggerated? not hardly! The flow was quite good and smooth. The language usage was intent and very intended. Three questions though ...

1 + 2. Who around you has actually used the word "Blunder" with their own free will and intent and how often have you ever heard it being used by real people in a conversational setting?

3. "If I ask for answers I long?" - I readily understood this line but it IS missing a word... do you want the missing word to remain implied or will you put it in?

[reflectingus]

Exaggerated?!! AHIAHHDSIUFWHAT?! Haha, I really love this. The first part was the perfect beginning, I could sense a sinister feeling, thoughts of pessimism, and how you progressed that into guilt, and not just any guilt, guilt felt by the surroundings- the trees, the stars, how they shamelessly hide, and there's just no trust anymore. I could relate to this, I've encountered old friends who were exactly who they are labelled as- old. It amazes me how people can change so immensely over time, how friends let you down, how you seek refuge in shadows, and yell for answers. Powerfully conveyed feelings, great language.

[Saba Sharif]

I love the way how every thing has a dramatic suspension here still the void is unfilled. Imagery suggests some kind of movement that really goes with the flow of the thoughts. As if physical nature is only a projection of what's going on inside the narrator, finally suggesting the outcome as a wish to escape n break free from the hurt. Enjoyed reconstructing the scene in my thoughts. Beautiful n poignant.

[R.A. Youngblood]

"A few birds are flying here and there,
Mocking my inability to fly
And reach elsewhere.
Somewhere,
Where old friends don't turn their faces away,
Somewhere,
Where the night is as faithful, as the day."

This is very imaginative and creative, nice flow of words..You're very good poet..this is life poem, and it's kind a dark in the beginning.. I specially like that asking rhythm: "In innocent hope of being passed by unseen,
I guess even they don't know, Why we hurt, Why life gets mean?"
Thanks for sharing..Keep it up :D

[Coyote Poetry]

I enjoyed the strong description of location and activities. Create thoughts and good vision. I did like the ending. Thank you for the outstanding poem.
Coyote

[khalid]

as soon as ilooked at the shape i thought wrongly you cannever gather betwn such a nice amazing shapeand a valuablecontent,after istarted toread,i foundyou have successfully doneit,you have really gatheredbetwen the nice shapeand the meaningful content. even more,you could make this all be much more better using very nice words picking and very nice flow! i can say this poem is perfect. i liked the images and the topic which may say...we are living crazy world..thank you so much for writing it and thank you more for sharing

[Kuhr Gred]

:) i see.. such a great imagination :) i love the way you express your feelings! GREAT WRITE .. keep it up :)