Letter to my broken self

A Poem by Subh nitya

You cry you laugh, you walk, you fall.

The thing which is a must is you still stand tall.

A Day might not lay as you want its fall

But don't allow others to treat you like a doll.

It's okay If at any phase you felt like you are broken,

It's okay, If any stage you felt like your world is shaken,

Take time, talk to yourself, show some self -love

And take your stand, cause no one gonna heal it

just because u are facing all the damn.

accept it if you were misjudged in past

accept it if your decision seemed totally wrong

accept it if you are shattered but

learn from it and make yourself firmly strong,

Ultimately, you are your hero , you are your star

stop blaming others and learn the art of winning life's war.

© 2021 Subh nitya

My Review

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Featured Review

barleygirl

Since you have only one poem posted so far, I assume you are new at the cafe. Let me give you a few pointers. I don't mind grammatical errors becuz half the cafe writers do not speak English as their first language & it's not productive to pick writers apart over grammar stuff. I think it's more important to come here & learn to express yourself well. There are others at the cafe who will not review those who put "ignore grammar" in their author's notes. They find this to be a bit insulting to the writers who work hard to edit their work to be free of mistakes.

Just my opinion -- you don't need to put a long explanation of your poem as an intro to your poem. Some of us poets like to offer our writing to a reader & just let the reader take that poem where the imagination takes that person. Nobody reads our poems the same way & it's informative to find out all the different ways that different people interpret what we write. Also, your writing is very straightforward & easy to understand, so there's no reason to explain. Have confidence that you are getting your point across in your poem. You are a writer with something to say, a focused message, & you're getting it across.

Last but not least -- again, just my opinion -- I don't think most grown-up readers like to be told how to live in a poem. When you use the pronoun "you" -- it sounds like you're preaching to the reader, telling him/her how to be. This can be fixed easily. If you use the pronoun "we" then it can be more inclusive, not placing yourself above your reader, as if you have attained this thing you are advising. Like you're already there & you're telling others how to get there. Not an appealing way to preach.

Rather than saying "you should live this way" . . . another way to make a point like this is to tell a story that shows how you yourself got this lesson in your own life. I think people learn by example more than by being told how to live. Show me your story. Show me how your "problem" can plague a life, then show me how your "answer" can make a life better. Convince me. That's your job as a writer. Don't make me take your word for it. You need to make me WANT to do what you say, if you are suggesting a better way to live life.

Most of this is my opinion only. Many write poems to inspire other people, trying to move a reader from his/her bleak outlook or bleak life. There are lots of people who will respond to writing like this. I'm just showing you there are other ways to skin this cat (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

Posted 3 Years Ago

Just my opinion -- you don't need to put a long explanation of your poem as an intro to your poem. Some of us poets like to offer our writing to a reader & just let the reader take that poem where the imagination takes that person. Nobody reads our poems the same way & it's informative to find out all the different ways that different people interpret what we write. Also, your writing is very straightforward & easy to understand, so there's no reason to explain. Have confidence that you are getting your point across in your poem. You are a writer with something to say, a focused message, & you're getting it across.

Last but not least -- again, just my opinion -- I don't think most grown-up readers like to be told how to live in a poem. When you use the pronoun "you" -- it sounds like you're preaching to the reader, telling him/her how to be. This can be fixed easily. If you use the pronoun "we" then it can be more inclusive, not placing yourself above your reader, as if you have attained this thing you are advising. Like you're already there & you're telling others how to get there. Not an appealing way to preach.

Rather than saying "you should live this way" . . . another way to make a point like this is to tell a story that shows how you yourself got this lesson in your own life. I think people learn by example more than by being told how to live. Show me your story. Show me how your "problem" can plague a life, then show me how your "answer" can make a life better. Convince me. That's your job as a writer. Don't make me take your word for it. You need to make me WANT to do what you say, if you are suggesting a better way to live life.

Most of this is my opinion only. Many write poems to inspire other people, trying to move a reader from his/her bleak outlook or bleak life. There are lots of people who will respond to writing like this. I'm just showing you there are other ways to skin this cat (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

Rating /100