Trust Only Yourself

A Chapter by ShootingMyStar

Tessa

Trust Only Yourself

To say that passing Adam Becker in the hallway was awkward was the understatement of the century. Over the course of three weeks, I've gotten skinny. I knew it too and to be honest, I was completely satisfied with losing weight but not satisfied enough with my weight now. I was only one hundred pounds but I still felt like I was two hundred. Currently in English class, my teacher decided that it'd be fun if we do another Romeo & Juliet project, but this time Mrs. Schneider wanted to do a PowerPoint of the modern time families and the fictional back in time instead of producing a play.

"Now," Mrs. Schneider began, "I'm going to let you choose your own partners." The whole class began cheering loudly, and the football players did their signature, 'whoop whoop!' with their fists pumping in the air. "If you guys get to rowdy or loud, I will choose your partners, understand?" Everyone nodded and I sighed. I most likely will be working by myself or with the new student who didn't know anyone, but since no new student transferred to our school, I was working alone.

I looked across the room to my ex-best friend, Cora. She was sitting alone staring out the window, her bright red hair was pulled up into a messy bun and she had her reading glasses on. Long time ago, I thought Cora would stick with me through thick and thin, helping me get over my eating disorder or trying to find a different way to lose weight but healthier, she never did. When I told her, she ran out of my room not talking--or even glancing at me--anymore. Cora was the first person I thought could help me stop my disorder but when she turned her back on me; I lost control of my body and my life and fell into a deep darkness. Unlike most depressed, emotional people, I didn't cut to release pain. I used my disorder or playing my guitar that helped soothe my upset nerves.

"Adam baby!" Shrilled Adam's latest play toy, Joanne. "Come sit by mama. I want to be your partner." She winked suggestively.

Adam grinned with that flirtatious smirk and replied, “I don’t think so Joanne, I got someone else in mind.” He got up and walked over to an empty seat next to me on my left, scooting closer to me. "Hey!" Adam exclaimed, grinning at me.

"What?!" Joanne click-clacked furiously over to me. "You're sitting with this loser to be your partner. You could be mine, I have things to show you that I know you can't resist. Late nights, house alone, big bedroom . . ."

"As tempting as that sounds, I'm going to have to decline." Adam said mock-regretfully.

"How's this for tempting." Joanne took a step forward, pressing her lips firmly on Adam's; I looked towards where Cora was--still sitting alone.

"Joanne Hornsby!" Mrs. Schneider yelled across the classroom, narrowing her baby blue eyes. "No PDA or detention!"

"Whatever." Joanne snapped, walking away.

"Bye Joanne Horny!" I muttered. Adam stared at me with an incredulous look. "What?"

"I've never seen you say an insult in your life." He grinned.

I rolled my eyes. "How 'bout this insult. Adam I think you're completely stupid and you aren't hot."

"Fine." He glared playfully, "Two insults. I am hot, I will prove it too."

"Look I really don't want to be your partner," I said. "No offense."

"Okay, how about this. If you become partners with Cora then I'll find a different partner, if you chicken out. Guess who just got lucky?" He challenged.

"Fine." I replied, getting up and walking over to Cora. She turned her head to me, eyes turning into slits. "I just came over to say, I like your sweater."

"Thanks." She replied coldly.

I swallowed the lump rising in my voice and walked back over to where Adam was sitting, grinning from ear to ear. "Today's your lucky day babe. I'm your partner!" He exclaimed.

"Go to hell." I muttered slumping in my seat. "And don't call me babe."

"Aw, don't be like that Peaches. Just relax; I'll give you the best time of your life." He said, leaning in forward.

"I'm not Peaches. My name is Tessa. Can you say that or do I need to spell it for you?" I snapped.

"I know how to say it." He replied tightly, clenching and unclenching his jaw. "Remember that time where I said 'Hey Tessa, could you be any fatter?' or this one 'Tessa! I can see some of your belly rolls. Tuck those suckers in!'." My tears were burning my eyes, threatening to spill over but I blinked it back. Adam leaned forward I guess trying to find if I was about to cry and I leaned back.

"Shut up." I mumbled weakly.

"What? No snapping, yelling, screaming?" Adam suggested icily.

When I didn't answer back, he rolled his eyes and stood up. "Whatever do this lame project by yourself.” I watched him walk over to where Joanne was sitting, who was mumbling to her w***e-in training.

Acid formed in my stomach, feeling it crawl all the way to my throat. I stood up and rushed out the door into the bathroom. Dropping on my knees, like so many times before, I threw up. No breakfast, nothing. Just acid. I heard the door bang open and Joanne came in.

"Are you okay?" She asked through the stall. There was no feeling in her tone.

"What are you doing here?" I mumbled, wiping my mouth with toilet paper and discarding it into the toilet.

"Mrs. Schneider told me to check on you. It's not like I cared about you or something." I rolled my eyes, pushing past her and washed my hands. "After what you did in the classroom."

"Oh calling you Joanne Horny?" I asked.

She turned to me, narrowing her eyes. "What?"

"Nothing . . ." I trailed off.

"Whatever." She rolled her eyes dramatically. "I'm talking about how Adam became your partner. He's supposed to be mine."

"He is. He went back to you after our fight and I went here." I replied. "Right?"

"Nope," She popped the 'p'. "He said he was going to let you cool down."

I opened the bathroom door and began walking in the direction of Mrs. Schneider's class. "Can he be my partner?" Joanne asked after a few moments of silence.

"Ask him." She nodded and ran towards Adam when we emerged back into the room and sat on his desk. "Adam baby, will you be my partner?" She batted her fake three inch eyelashes.

He turned to look at me. I was already in my seat with my notebook and pen, copying the rubric off the white board. "No thanks Joanne, I think I'm going to stick with little Tessa over there." He tapped my shoulder and said, "So how 'bout we meet at my house tonight. Say around seven?" A half sheet of white notebook paper floated onto my desk with numbers scribbled down. "Can't wait for tonight." He whispered in my ear. I rolled my eyes and finished copying the rubric.

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