Super Bowl Ads - A Fragment

A Poem by Studio Dongo

Instant feedback on the Harbaugh Bowl--because posting any later than halftime would show a crippling reliance on deliberation.

A bunch of random people frolicking in the countryside. Not sure what they were trying to sell me. Probably whatever kind of insurance I need for frolicking. But should I get liability or comprehensive? Maybe this commercial has a sequel to address the many excellent questions it has raised in the minds of viewers everywhere.

If your problem is being dateless for the prom, the solution is apparently an Audi.

If, on the other hand, your problem is knowing too many children who do adult jobs, the solution is apparently a Hyundai.

Cars can't solve all problems. Sometimes the problem is a psychotic goat or tiny bags of Doritos (apparently with reproductive capabilities). Or wait, maybe those are solutions.

Can you really put your signature on an act of hypnosis? And even if you can, don't the people in the legal department at Coca-Cola know better?

This promo for the Big Bang Theory has a lot of characters I don't recognize.

Calvin Klein is no longer making clothes. He now sells gym memberships and inferiority complexes.

Eye on linguistics. CBS unveils a brand new method of syallabication. This is going to be le-gen-dary, folks.

Captain Kirk a la Cumberbatch. My wife is suddenly a Trekkie. Some things really are as easy as saying, "Make it so, Number One."

Ziggy Marley is playing at the Delta Downs Event Center in Vinton, Louisiana two weeks from today. I mention this because the executives at Volkswagon appear to have given up all hope of finding him. Happy to help out.

Subway proudly presents its portrait of a man who has lost his appetite for life.

Taco Bell is not just in the business of selling food. They are also in the business of challenging assumptions about elderly people and tattoos. You don't have to tell them not to quit their day jobs. They know.

If you knit things out of live animals, there are special shoes you should know about.

Did you see Jacoby Jones get up and make it into the end zone? The NFL always figures out how to work in a live-action commercial for itself. Sneaky.

All in all, I would rather have seen the one by Ryan Higa, if only for the sake of continuity.